(no subject)
He came to get V.
Just opened my door and was going to leave with her.
I asked him to stay and talk and with a lot of reluctance he stayed.
He stood in the doorway and I watched his fingers go through his mail and I spilled my guts for the billionth time.
The ring is gone. And it symbolizes him letting go of me to me.
He wore it for so long.
I wonder if he goes to feel it and then gets sad when it isnt there
Like I still am with mine.
I asked questions and he talked to V.
He said there was nothing to talk about while he cut me deeper.
I explained how things were good and then nothing.
And he did not respond.
I asked if he wanted to be friends and he said yes.
I have a feeling he was lying.
Cause I don't feel like he is going to try
and that hurts a lot
cause we cant even have a conversation.
I try and he says it isn't one and I know that because he isn't talking.
It isnt a conversation if I do all the talking
And as he leaves he says I hope youre having a good time with your new boyfriend
And I dont know why he would say that.
Trying to figure out if I have one? Rub it in that I don't and can't. Make it feel like he knows something he doesn't.
Its cruel no matter what way it is spun.
And Im lonely.
No V.
No anyone.
And he has let me go.
And I keep trying and trying cause everything says if you have something you dont want to lose that you have to try and not let go..
And Im trying and trying and just getting hurt more and more because he is pushing me away.
I dont know what to do.
Im just sad and lonely and he looks like he is doing just fine.
Just opened my door and was going to leave with her.
I asked him to stay and talk and with a lot of reluctance he stayed.
He stood in the doorway and I watched his fingers go through his mail and I spilled my guts for the billionth time.
The ring is gone. And it symbolizes him letting go of me to me.
He wore it for so long.
I wonder if he goes to feel it and then gets sad when it isnt there
Like I still am with mine.
I asked questions and he talked to V.
He said there was nothing to talk about while he cut me deeper.
I explained how things were good and then nothing.
And he did not respond.
I asked if he wanted to be friends and he said yes.
I have a feeling he was lying.
Cause I don't feel like he is going to try
and that hurts a lot
cause we cant even have a conversation.
I try and he says it isn't one and I know that because he isn't talking.
It isnt a conversation if I do all the talking
And as he leaves he says I hope youre having a good time with your new boyfriend
And I dont know why he would say that.
Trying to figure out if I have one? Rub it in that I don't and can't. Make it feel like he knows something he doesn't.
Its cruel no matter what way it is spun.
And Im lonely.
No V.
No anyone.
And he has let me go.
And I keep trying and trying cause everything says if you have something you dont want to lose that you have to try and not let go..
And Im trying and trying and just getting hurt more and more because he is pushing me away.
I dont know what to do.
Im just sad and lonely and he looks like he is doing just fine.