Oh, The Horror....

[winterrose]

Of my incredibly un-sheltered life. Everything and everyone sucks. I seriously think I honestly hate everything right now. I don't know why, maybe I'm just going through another depression. I just took another Wellbutrin and a Percocet, and I feel all fuzzy inside. Maybe I should get off the drugs, perhaps that would help, but escaping from reality just feels too good. I know I swore off the drugs before, and I honestly tried... I was sober for a whole two weeks after that. Until I slept over Kat's house and smoked enough weed to kill someone. It just feels so good to just get away from everything for a little while. Nothing ever seems to bother me when I'm fucked up, but everything bothers me immensely when I'm sober. I went to the optometrist today and I wanted to kill the guy just because he thought my boots were funny looking. I was wearing my super-heroine boots. You know, the black ones that come all the way up to my knees? With the 6-inch heels? Yeah, those ones. I wanted to kill the mother fucker. But right now I just feel so all alone... so depressed and forsaken... I just wanna cry, but crying never helps, it only makes me look weak, and I will not have people thinking I'm weak. NOT ME!!! Because I'm not weak... or am I? I probably am... I just don't know what the hell to do anymore... I'm getting ready to drop out of high-school... I'm worthless as far as anything goes... I'm a horrible girlfriend, so there's no chance of me meeting any "Prince Charming" to take care of me forever... I've got no talents other than art, and what am I going to do with that? Become a freelance artist? I won't compromise my creativity that way... it's against everything I believe in. I'm so horribly useless. It's pathetic. Well, I'm going to go wallow in my self-hatred now. TTYL, TTFN, Bye byes.

Bloody Kisses,
WinterRose