Its certainly a new year
Back in Philly once more. The transition was almost instantaneous, although I suppose that should have been expected after having already spent a semester here.
Other than the realization that I'd either eaten, given away, or thrown out all of the food that I had in the house before I left, it felt as if I'd never left. Truth be told, it was harder for me to return from Kentucky after the 2 1/2 day and 4 1/2 day trips I'd made home during the fall than it was this time after a month long trip. Does that I missed this city? With its rising rate of violent crimes? With all of its painfully intense, so much so that its almost physically tangible, racial tension? With its crushing humanity that presses around me constantly to the point at which I feel as if the only place I have the least bit of privacy is in my basement apartment?
Maybe its grown on me a bit, but I think it would be more correct to say that the transition was easy for me because I'm driven to succeed in graduate school, much more so than I was last August. And even if I can't, my mind feels more alive than it ever has and it is constantly interjecting into my conscious thoughts future possibilities.
I feel now like someone wandering down a dark path. I glanced at a map once before I set out, and I have a vague idea as to where this path will lead. But I'm so excited about being on that path that even if it were to shift suddenly in an unexpected direction, I don't think I'd mind too much.
My trip home to Kentucky was full of interesting little incidents that, during this moment of reflection, created this feeling within me. In the coming days, I plan to write out my memories of them, of how they lead to small insights and decisions that together engendered my current attitude towards my future. Whether or not they'll be anything other than a way for me to remember them, the act of recording them will help me to keep my resolution of writing creatively everyday in the hopes of finding myself with something worth submitting to publishers by the middle of the year.
Classes don't start until tomorrow and already I've spent quite a bit of time studying and preparing for them. I'm going to kick ass this semester and that's that.
Other than the realization that I'd either eaten, given away, or thrown out all of the food that I had in the house before I left, it felt as if I'd never left. Truth be told, it was harder for me to return from Kentucky after the 2 1/2 day and 4 1/2 day trips I'd made home during the fall than it was this time after a month long trip. Does that I missed this city? With its rising rate of violent crimes? With all of its painfully intense, so much so that its almost physically tangible, racial tension? With its crushing humanity that presses around me constantly to the point at which I feel as if the only place I have the least bit of privacy is in my basement apartment?
Maybe its grown on me a bit, but I think it would be more correct to say that the transition was easy for me because I'm driven to succeed in graduate school, much more so than I was last August. And even if I can't, my mind feels more alive than it ever has and it is constantly interjecting into my conscious thoughts future possibilities.
I feel now like someone wandering down a dark path. I glanced at a map once before I set out, and I have a vague idea as to where this path will lead. But I'm so excited about being on that path that even if it were to shift suddenly in an unexpected direction, I don't think I'd mind too much.
My trip home to Kentucky was full of interesting little incidents that, during this moment of reflection, created this feeling within me. In the coming days, I plan to write out my memories of them, of how they lead to small insights and decisions that together engendered my current attitude towards my future. Whether or not they'll be anything other than a way for me to remember them, the act of recording them will help me to keep my resolution of writing creatively everyday in the hopes of finding myself with something worth submitting to publishers by the middle of the year.
Classes don't start until tomorrow and already I've spent quite a bit of time studying and preparing for them. I'm going to kick ass this semester and that's that.