"The Break of Dawn" - A Buffy/Spike ficlet, set in 2011
The Break of Dawn
Spike had quickly tracked her down after the big fight in LA. They slipped back into their familiar roles of fighting together and sometimes fighting each other, of being sometimes friends, but sometimes antagonists. Finally, on Buffy’s 30th birthday, amidst all the jokes of Slayer retirement age and this being the "first anniversary of her 29th birthday" - as if she’d truly be concerned about reaching 30 after all she’d survived - Dawn decided she’d had enough of their lunacy.
“Um, Guys?” Dawn interrupted the casual conversations around the room, looking around to make sure that people were listening to her even while they enjoyed the fudge-covered chocolate cake they’d chosen for the party. Dawn had finally come into her own and was respected as a type of authority figure among the new Slayers, as well as being seen as an actual adult by the original Scoobies, but it still made her belly do a little flip when people listened to her so quickly. She pressed her lips together and took a breath to disperse those thoughts and turned her focus toward Buffy and Spike.
Buffy was sitting on the couch, eating cake and talking to Willow. Spike was leaning casually against the arm of the couch, pretending to be completely uninterested in the entire room. “Buffy, you’re 30 years old now. You’re, like, more than a decade older than anyone would have expected you to be when you were first called to be a Slayer.” Giles nodded in silent agreement at that statement. “You’ve been a fantastic Slayer and Leader, and the best big sister anyone could ask for,” Dawn glanced away, determined not to get side-tracked by Buffy’s suddenly shinier-than-usual eyes. “You’ve worked super hard, and saved the world sooo many times, and I can remember what you were like when I was a kid, and a teenager, and now that I’m an adult too, I’ve noticed how much you’ve changed and how much you’ve grown up. I can see how much you’ve learned in so many areas.” She locked eyes with Buffy again. “So it feels like I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t point out something you’re obviously missing.”
At this, Dawn smiled serenely at Buffy’s mild shock and confusion and turned her attention toward Spike, who had, by this time, started edging toward the door, pack of cigarettes already in his hand. “Spike.” He looked over quickly, as if prepared to deny whatever he was suspected or accused of. “Spike, you’ve come a really, really long way, and I don’t just mean from England to California to Africa to California to Scotland to Italy to Cleveland. I remember when we first learned that you couldn’t hurt people because of the Initiative. The gang laughed when Willow talked about it, and it wasn’t until later, when I was a lot older, that I finally understood that they were laughing more at the double entendres than your inability to bite a human. I remember I had the teensiest crush on you later, but mostly, I just felt comfortable with you around. Even before you went off and fought for your soul, you were part of our family, and after that big battle, when Giles pulled the bus into a motel parking lot in Arizona so we could all get some sleep and take showers and stuff, I never told her, but I heard Buffy crying in the shower that night. She was crying about you.”
Buffy looked up, a mixture of dread and horror and surprise on her face. “Dawnie, I was just,”
“Buffy, it’s okay. Just listen.” Buffy swallowed, and tried to listen while keeping a mental tally of her justifications and explanations so she could back-pedal out of this as soon as Dawn was finished. She didn’t even realize she’d put down her cake and was tightly hugging a pillow for support now.
“So,” Dawn continued, “I guess I’ve taken a lot of lessons from Xander, because I started to see things.” She and Xander shared a small smile at that, and she was happy to see Susy reach over and squeeze his thigh in a familiar and loving gesture. Susy’s sister was one of the youngest Slayers, and Susy had been thrilled to learn there was something she could do to help in this unfamiliar and dangerous world Joanne had been pulled into. She was now one of their best Watchers and happily involved with Xander for nearly a year.
Dawn continued, still directing her thoughts toward Spike. This was the stuff he Needed to know. “I saw how Buffy reacted by totally not reacting every time your name came up in conversation for the first few weeks after that battle. I saw how her eyes got really big and dark a few months later when we got word about you showing up in ghosty-form at Angel’s place in LA. I even saw how irritated she was when one of her doubles was hanging out with The Immortal and she knew you and Angel both thought it was really her. After a while, you weren’t mentioned much, and there wasn’t much to see, but then you came back to her.” Spike opened his mouth then, obviously planning to interject some form of disagreement, but Dawn wouldn’t let him. “Yes, there was a great smoke-screen about how you came back to the fight and just wanted to help and everything, but you really came back to her. I saw it in the way your eyes sought her out when you first entered that castle in Scotland. I saw it in the way you both danced around each other during every briefing and planning session, and in the way you fought together those few times you went on the same assignment.”
She stopped to take a breath. This was taking longer than she’d expected, but she had to make sure she was really clear about this, or they’d slip back into their old habits and it would be even harder next time. Spike had closed his mouth again, and was quietly gazing at the floor, waiting. Dawn turned back to Buffy, noting that her sister had managed to scoot even closer to the arm of the couch, as if she needed to be just that fraction of an inch further from everyone.
“As the Slayer numbers have grown, and the New Watchers Council has been formed and gotten things more organized and smooth, I’ve seen you turn to Spike for leadership help, for fighting help, for strategy help, and even, when you thought no one was looking, for emotional support. I know about the late nights you two spent in the library of the castle, talking for hours and hours. I saw how it cut you deep inside that Spike had to lay in a box for most of the flight back to the states because we didn’t have those special planes like Wolfram and Hart. I saw how careful you were about choosing your bedroom when we first got to Cleveland, and it didn’t take a genius - even though I am one,” she smirked, “to realize that you were trying to be closer to Spike without being obvious.”
“I guess I just decided that ten years is long enough for you both to dance around the issue here, and the one thing I can’t see is why you won’t admit your feelings and be happy you have each other.”
Buffy wanted to bury her face in the throw pillow to hide the tears that were suddenly streaming down her cheeks. Who knew her little sister could be so insightful? Oh, right, she knew. Dawn had been very insightful when Riley left, so much that it creeped Buffy out. She’d even been way wise beyond her years when Angel left, though that was a memory and not really her, but it should probably still count. Still, while Dawn had managed to nail Buffy’s feelings right on the head, to an extent Buffy hadn’t even consciously been aware of, surely Spike had given up those emotions long ago.
Just as she had that thought, she felt him move closer to her, until she found herself looking at his legs, partially covered by the bottom of his familiar leather duster. He reached out a hand in front of her down-turned face. After a moment, she finally pried one hand from the throw pillow and placed it in his, then looked up at the familiar smirk, prominent cheekbones, and scarred eyebrow that made up the face she loved so well. “So, love, what do you say we humor Little Bit and see if there’s some truth in what she says?”
Her tears seemed to find a new reservoir even while she felt herself smiling uncontrollably. “Yeah, I think she deserves that.”
Spike had quickly tracked her down after the big fight in LA. They slipped back into their familiar roles of fighting together and sometimes fighting each other, of being sometimes friends, but sometimes antagonists. Finally, on Buffy’s 30th birthday, amidst all the jokes of Slayer retirement age and this being the "first anniversary of her 29th birthday" - as if she’d truly be concerned about reaching 30 after all she’d survived - Dawn decided she’d had enough of their lunacy.
“Um, Guys?” Dawn interrupted the casual conversations around the room, looking around to make sure that people were listening to her even while they enjoyed the fudge-covered chocolate cake they’d chosen for the party. Dawn had finally come into her own and was respected as a type of authority figure among the new Slayers, as well as being seen as an actual adult by the original Scoobies, but it still made her belly do a little flip when people listened to her so quickly. She pressed her lips together and took a breath to disperse those thoughts and turned her focus toward Buffy and Spike.
Buffy was sitting on the couch, eating cake and talking to Willow. Spike was leaning casually against the arm of the couch, pretending to be completely uninterested in the entire room. “Buffy, you’re 30 years old now. You’re, like, more than a decade older than anyone would have expected you to be when you were first called to be a Slayer.” Giles nodded in silent agreement at that statement. “You’ve been a fantastic Slayer and Leader, and the best big sister anyone could ask for,” Dawn glanced away, determined not to get side-tracked by Buffy’s suddenly shinier-than-usual eyes. “You’ve worked super hard, and saved the world sooo many times, and I can remember what you were like when I was a kid, and a teenager, and now that I’m an adult too, I’ve noticed how much you’ve changed and how much you’ve grown up. I can see how much you’ve learned in so many areas.” She locked eyes with Buffy again. “So it feels like I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t point out something you’re obviously missing.”
At this, Dawn smiled serenely at Buffy’s mild shock and confusion and turned her attention toward Spike, who had, by this time, started edging toward the door, pack of cigarettes already in his hand. “Spike.” He looked over quickly, as if prepared to deny whatever he was suspected or accused of. “Spike, you’ve come a really, really long way, and I don’t just mean from England to California to Africa to California to Scotland to Italy to Cleveland. I remember when we first learned that you couldn’t hurt people because of the Initiative. The gang laughed when Willow talked about it, and it wasn’t until later, when I was a lot older, that I finally understood that they were laughing more at the double entendres than your inability to bite a human. I remember I had the teensiest crush on you later, but mostly, I just felt comfortable with you around. Even before you went off and fought for your soul, you were part of our family, and after that big battle, when Giles pulled the bus into a motel parking lot in Arizona so we could all get some sleep and take showers and stuff, I never told her, but I heard Buffy crying in the shower that night. She was crying about you.”
Buffy looked up, a mixture of dread and horror and surprise on her face. “Dawnie, I was just,”
“Buffy, it’s okay. Just listen.” Buffy swallowed, and tried to listen while keeping a mental tally of her justifications and explanations so she could back-pedal out of this as soon as Dawn was finished. She didn’t even realize she’d put down her cake and was tightly hugging a pillow for support now.
“So,” Dawn continued, “I guess I’ve taken a lot of lessons from Xander, because I started to see things.” She and Xander shared a small smile at that, and she was happy to see Susy reach over and squeeze his thigh in a familiar and loving gesture. Susy’s sister was one of the youngest Slayers, and Susy had been thrilled to learn there was something she could do to help in this unfamiliar and dangerous world Joanne had been pulled into. She was now one of their best Watchers and happily involved with Xander for nearly a year.
Dawn continued, still directing her thoughts toward Spike. This was the stuff he Needed to know. “I saw how Buffy reacted by totally not reacting every time your name came up in conversation for the first few weeks after that battle. I saw how her eyes got really big and dark a few months later when we got word about you showing up in ghosty-form at Angel’s place in LA. I even saw how irritated she was when one of her doubles was hanging out with The Immortal and she knew you and Angel both thought it was really her. After a while, you weren’t mentioned much, and there wasn’t much to see, but then you came back to her.” Spike opened his mouth then, obviously planning to interject some form of disagreement, but Dawn wouldn’t let him. “Yes, there was a great smoke-screen about how you came back to the fight and just wanted to help and everything, but you really came back to her. I saw it in the way your eyes sought her out when you first entered that castle in Scotland. I saw it in the way you both danced around each other during every briefing and planning session, and in the way you fought together those few times you went on the same assignment.”
She stopped to take a breath. This was taking longer than she’d expected, but she had to make sure she was really clear about this, or they’d slip back into their old habits and it would be even harder next time. Spike had closed his mouth again, and was quietly gazing at the floor, waiting. Dawn turned back to Buffy, noting that her sister had managed to scoot even closer to the arm of the couch, as if she needed to be just that fraction of an inch further from everyone.
“As the Slayer numbers have grown, and the New Watchers Council has been formed and gotten things more organized and smooth, I’ve seen you turn to Spike for leadership help, for fighting help, for strategy help, and even, when you thought no one was looking, for emotional support. I know about the late nights you two spent in the library of the castle, talking for hours and hours. I saw how it cut you deep inside that Spike had to lay in a box for most of the flight back to the states because we didn’t have those special planes like Wolfram and Hart. I saw how careful you were about choosing your bedroom when we first got to Cleveland, and it didn’t take a genius - even though I am one,” she smirked, “to realize that you were trying to be closer to Spike without being obvious.”
“I guess I just decided that ten years is long enough for you both to dance around the issue here, and the one thing I can’t see is why you won’t admit your feelings and be happy you have each other.”
Buffy wanted to bury her face in the throw pillow to hide the tears that were suddenly streaming down her cheeks. Who knew her little sister could be so insightful? Oh, right, she knew. Dawn had been very insightful when Riley left, so much that it creeped Buffy out. She’d even been way wise beyond her years when Angel left, though that was a memory and not really her, but it should probably still count. Still, while Dawn had managed to nail Buffy’s feelings right on the head, to an extent Buffy hadn’t even consciously been aware of, surely Spike had given up those emotions long ago.
Just as she had that thought, she felt him move closer to her, until she found herself looking at his legs, partially covered by the bottom of his familiar leather duster. He reached out a hand in front of her down-turned face. After a moment, she finally pried one hand from the throw pillow and placed it in his, then looked up at the familiar smirk, prominent cheekbones, and scarred eyebrow that made up the face she loved so well. “So, love, what do you say we humor Little Bit and see if there’s some truth in what she says?”
Her tears seemed to find a new reservoir even while she felt herself smiling uncontrollably. “Yeah, I think she deserves that.”