(no subject)
I just finished reading the 14 volume manga series "Tramps Like Us", it's original title being actually "Kimi wa Petto" or I am your Pet".
It's about a 27 yrs old woman who one night, after being cheated on and then dumped by her fiancee because she was taller, had better education and a better job than him, finds a big ass box dumped in front of her apartment complex. Inside it, she discovers a beat up young guy (he's like 20 yrs old) passed out, that she takes pity on, so she lets him inside her apartment for the night. She cures him, and gives him dinner and then tells him to leave the next morning.
But when she comes back from work the next day, the guy is still there. He begs her to let him stay, and to make the kid leave, she tells him that he can stay only if he...uh, becomes her pet (of course, she's not serious and is fully expecting him to refuse).
Well, to her horror, the guy happily accepts, and Sumire (the woman) who despite being a super-career super-cute super everything you can think of girl is impossibly shy, can't bring herself to back off from her offer, so she gets stuck with a new human pet who she names "Momo", like her beloved, deceased dog from childhood.
The love story, the slow (but steady) growth of the 2 main characters who slowly heal each other, the fact that it's really hard to hate the "villains" 'cuz each one is delightfully developed and trying the best they can with the cards they've been dealt in life, the many times the characters fall and get up (just like real life), the tons of laughter an tears it inspired in me, made me a happy, lifelong fan of Yayoi Ogawa, the author of this wonderful josei series.
The only thing i have left to say is woooow... i loved it.
Oh... and I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!! >.<
But that's kinda stupid, since i can't even seem to be able to take care of myself, and i'm still deathly afraid of meeting new guys. I mean, i'm over what happened to me last time and i don't regret it since i learned so much from my experience... although i do wish it hadn't been such a long relationship since it was gonna end in failure anyways. 8 years of the whole thing and then him finally realizing he didn't love me and calling off the engagement... i wish he had realized this by the fifth year or something! XD
But the thing is, my social phobia is really bad right now. It kinda skyrocketed some months ago with the depression i got from the deaths of last year and the robbery that same month, but this week something happened that kinda triggered most of my symptoms, and provoked an acute episode of my stupid phobia. The whole week, i've been completely out of it and social contact has been all but impossible for me these days. I just sort of stare into space and can't speak much even when spoken to.
I wonder if i should go back to my medication. I left it because i was told i was gonna be allowed to stop taking it sometime this year, and i was desperate to stop depending on such a thing, but i can't stand it anymore. Lately i've been constantly thinking on ending it all, and that hadn't happened to me for at least 7 years.
I'm a bit better right now though. I haven't experienced those really strong attacks that ended my career in the USA, although i've had a couple of mild ones during the week. They don't leave my body paralized for a whole hour like the ones i used to have in Seattle. And the episode is not so bad that i refuse to leave the house when i really have to, or i'm completely silent when someone speaks to me. But i thought it was mostly over, and the fact that i'm still so sick makes me very sad and disappointed.
I think i might never be fully normal and that sucks.
Thankfully, most ppl i know in real life don't read this journal. They worry about me enough as it is without all this crap added to the load (if someone still does, then i'm sorry you had to see this).
It is lucky that most people don't realize how crappy i feel, they just think i'm simply in one of my "thinking moods", and i've been able to fake laughs and smiles when necessary.
Since i'm not gonna commit suicide or anything, it's pretty useless to be a drama queen in front of them. It's nice to be able to express how hopeless i feel in my journal though.
It's about a 27 yrs old woman who one night, after being cheated on and then dumped by her fiancee because she was taller, had better education and a better job than him, finds a big ass box dumped in front of her apartment complex. Inside it, she discovers a beat up young guy (he's like 20 yrs old) passed out, that she takes pity on, so she lets him inside her apartment for the night. She cures him, and gives him dinner and then tells him to leave the next morning.
But when she comes back from work the next day, the guy is still there. He begs her to let him stay, and to make the kid leave, she tells him that he can stay only if he...uh, becomes her pet (of course, she's not serious and is fully expecting him to refuse).
Well, to her horror, the guy happily accepts, and Sumire (the woman) who despite being a super-career super-cute super everything you can think of girl is impossibly shy, can't bring herself to back off from her offer, so she gets stuck with a new human pet who she names "Momo", like her beloved, deceased dog from childhood.
The love story, the slow (but steady) growth of the 2 main characters who slowly heal each other, the fact that it's really hard to hate the "villains" 'cuz each one is delightfully developed and trying the best they can with the cards they've been dealt in life, the many times the characters fall and get up (just like real life), the tons of laughter an tears it inspired in me, made me a happy, lifelong fan of Yayoi Ogawa, the author of this wonderful josei series.
The only thing i have left to say is woooow... i loved it.
Oh... and I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!! >.<
But that's kinda stupid, since i can't even seem to be able to take care of myself, and i'm still deathly afraid of meeting new guys. I mean, i'm over what happened to me last time and i don't regret it since i learned so much from my experience... although i do wish it hadn't been such a long relationship since it was gonna end in failure anyways. 8 years of the whole thing and then him finally realizing he didn't love me and calling off the engagement... i wish he had realized this by the fifth year or something! XD
But the thing is, my social phobia is really bad right now. It kinda skyrocketed some months ago with the depression i got from the deaths of last year and the robbery that same month, but this week something happened that kinda triggered most of my symptoms, and provoked an acute episode of my stupid phobia. The whole week, i've been completely out of it and social contact has been all but impossible for me these days. I just sort of stare into space and can't speak much even when spoken to.
I wonder if i should go back to my medication. I left it because i was told i was gonna be allowed to stop taking it sometime this year, and i was desperate to stop depending on such a thing, but i can't stand it anymore. Lately i've been constantly thinking on ending it all, and that hadn't happened to me for at least 7 years.
I'm a bit better right now though. I haven't experienced those really strong attacks that ended my career in the USA, although i've had a couple of mild ones during the week. They don't leave my body paralized for a whole hour like the ones i used to have in Seattle. And the episode is not so bad that i refuse to leave the house when i really have to, or i'm completely silent when someone speaks to me. But i thought it was mostly over, and the fact that i'm still so sick makes me very sad and disappointed.
I think i might never be fully normal and that sucks.
Thankfully, most ppl i know in real life don't read this journal. They worry about me enough as it is without all this crap added to the load (if someone still does, then i'm sorry you had to see this).
It is lucky that most people don't realize how crappy i feel, they just think i'm simply in one of my "thinking moods", and i've been able to fake laughs and smiles when necessary.
Since i'm not gonna commit suicide or anything, it's pretty useless to be a drama queen in front of them. It's nice to be able to express how hopeless i feel in my journal though.