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2010 Winter Games Kink Meme
Figure Skating Post!
Only figure skating/ice dancing prompts/fills go here!
Part 1 is here.
Part 2 is here.
Other Sports and Crossovers are here.
Speed Skating is here.
Figure Skating Part 1 is here.
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The next day, Johnny gets out of bed with his eyes closed. He feels his way over to the mirror on the wall across from the bed, and spends a few moments sending hopeful thoughts out into the universe with as much passion as he can muster, and then opens his eyes.
Evan Lysacek's face is staring back at him.
Ugh. Johnny just wants to scream. Seeing Evan Lysacek's face first thing in the morning would be unpleasant in many contexts, but this is the worst. Except he can't even think that any more without imagining other contexts during which he might see Evan Lysacek's face first thing in the morning, which means that Evan has now totally ruined hating Evan for him too. Which only makes him hate him more. Okay, it doesn't have to make sense.
And it's the day of the fucking free skate. The free skate at Worlds, which he decided to give another shot after all, because he was so entranced and intoxicated by the thought of skating amazingly and winning another medal. It was part memory and part fantasy, the idea that he could just step onto the ice and skate his best and everyone would love it and tell him how amazing he was and he would win a medal. He should have realized a long time ago that that was never going to happen to him again, and now it really never will because he's going to have to skate as Evan Lysacek. And whatever he does today is going to be written down in articles and records and Wikipedia as Evan Lysacek's 2011 Worlds FS.
It's too much to think about. He can't think about it. He focuses on getting dressed and ready to go practice.
When Johnny gets to the rink and sees Frank, he feels actual dread grip him. The thought of messing up on his lutz again in front of Frank is almost more terrifying than the free skate. This must be what Evan feels like all the time.
He changes into Evan's practice clothes and heads out to the ice. He falls the first time he tries the lutz, but after a few times he starts landing it consistently and Frank lets him try some other elements. It's almost worrying how natural it's starting to feel to skate as Evan. He wonders if Evan's starting to relax into his body as well.
He doesn't know how many times he lands the lutz before Frank seems satisfied, but it definitely feels like thirty times. Once the elements are looking good, Frank has him run through the long program twice. And then he finally nods at Johnny, and Johnny can go to the locker room and change back into real clothes.
Halfway through getting his pants on, his phone rings. He checks it and sees his own number flash up, and a rush of nerves and terror bubbles up in him suddenly, reminding him of exactly what is supposed to be happening today. He sits down on the bench, leaving only one pant leg on, and answers the phone.
"What, Evan?"
On the other end, Johnny hears Evan hesitate. "What?"
"Why are you calling me?"
"I just-it's not fixed yet."
"I noticed," Johnny says. He puts the phone down on the bench and hits speaker, and resumes putting on his pants. "There's nothing I can really do about that. Believe me, if there was-"
"No, I know," Evan says. "I just felt like we should talk before-you know, before today."
Before the free skate, Johnny thinks, he could just say it, it's not like avoiding the name will stop it from happening
"Evan." Johnny buttons his pants, picks up the phone again, turns off the speaker and presses it to his ear. "We can't do this."
"What do you mean?" Evan says. "Of course we can. We've both done big competitions before-"
"No, that's not what I mean." Johnny's trying to breathe around the knot in his chest. "I mean, we can't. It's like cheating. We have to withdraw."
Evan's silent for a long moment, and then he says, "How could we withdraw? What would we even say?"
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"I don't think there are any cults that ban figure skating," Evan says slowly. Johnny wishes he were here so Johnny could roll his eyes at him or slap him or something.
"That's not the point. The point is we need to find a way to get out of this."
Evan goes quiet again, and Johnny now really needs for him to be here so Johnny can shake him and make him agree.
"I don't think we can do that," Evan says finally.
"Sure we can." Johnny's amazed it's taken him this long to figure it out, actually. Now that he's had the idea, it feels like the pressure is lifting. Of course he doesn't have to do this. "It's not like skaters haven't withdrawn for personal reasons before."
"Yeah, but both of us at once? I mean, it wouldn't exactly help with everyone worrying about us spending time together, would it?"
"I don't care about that as long as I don't have to skate as you," Johnny says. "Evan, it feels wrong. It's like a lie, and not just to the skating community or the ISU or whatever. It's lying to our coaches and our parents and everyone." He thinks about how proud Patti must be of him for coming in third, and then stops thinking about it because it makes him feel like curling up somewhere and never talking to anyone ever again.
Evan takes so long to answer Johnny checks the phone to make sure it hasn't cut out.
"I don't think so," he says finally. "I want to skate today."
"You want to?" Johnny runs a hand through his hair, pressing the phone closer to his ear in case he misheard. "You want to go out there and skate in my body?"
"No, of course not," Evan says. "I would much rather skate as me and have you skate as you. But this is what skating's about, this is what our lives are about. Competing, and overcoming whatever obstacles necessary to do the best you can do."
And now Johnny's lost him into Evan Cliché Land, and he wishes there was a way to strangle someone long-distance.
"This isn't a fucking training exercise," Johnny says. "It's the World Figure Skating Championships."
"I know," Evan says. "It's what I've been working for all year, and you too. Johnny, you came back after placing sixth at the Olympics-"
"Evan, shut up, you don't know what you-"
"No, listen," he says. "You came back after placing sixth because you wanted to be here, to get another shot at this competition, and that's why I'm here too, because this competition is important. This may be a difficult and weird situation but we can't just sit out. I'm competing and you should too."
Johnny wishes for a moment very hard that they weren't skating in the same group tonight, because the next time he sees Evan it's going to be really hard not to hit him.
"You're a fucking idiot," he says, through clenched teeth. "This isn't like working through an illness or something. This isn't something you're supposed to be able to deal with as a figure skater."
"How do you know?" Evan says. "How do you know this hasn't happened dozens of times? I didn't even know it could happen at all, it's not like we'd hear about it."
Which is so stupidly and deliberately missing the point that Johnny has to take a few seconds to breathe so he doesn't throw the phone against the wall or tear his hair out or something. But fuck, thinking back on this whole year it does seem kind of awful to get here and not even skate. Because that was supposed to be the whole point of this season, fixing the things that were wrong with his technique and going to Worlds and just dazzling everyone, and no matter how terrible and wrong this is, he's at Worlds. He's in the final skate group. Dropping out would be just as awful as skating, just in a different way.
He puts a hand over his eyes. "Fine, fine," he says. "I can't believe I'm saying this. Fine. Let's do it."
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