Yamx: Defences (1/4) (Jack/Nine) [PG-13]
Jack wakes with a strangled scream. He sits up, panting heavily. Can’t remember where he is. Can’t remember what he dreamed, either. The TARDIS considerately turns up the lights in his room - not enough to blind, but enough for him to look around and take in his surroundings. It’s all right, whatever it was. He’s in the TARDIS. He’s safe. He’s alone.
Alone. He glances at his wrist comp. Half past three. Jack sighs. He knows he’s being childish. It’s a concession on the Doctor’s part to even stay with him until he falls asleep most nights. Well, maybe not just a concession - Jack likes to think that the Doctor does get something out of holding his lover after they have sex - the little kisses, the gentle petting, the whispered nothings, the spent and undemanding physical closeness. But anyway, it would be silly to expect the Time Lord, who barely needs any sleep, to stay with him all night, just to keep the nightmares at bay. Nightmares he’s never mentioned to the Doctor, at that. And anyway, it’s not like he has them every night.
Still, even without them, Jack has to admit he’d just like to wake up next to his lover sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes. Would make him feel less like an opportunity fuck.
Okay, now he’s being ridiculous. He knows very well he’s far more than that. The Doctor doesn’t even do opportunity fucks. He’s the one in this relationship who’s given to those, after all.
Used to be great at them. Expert. Had them all the time, almost always exquisit. But he gave them up, cold-turkey, without a moan, without a pang of regret, when they began this relationship. And the Doctor can’t even spend a few nights-
Damn, what is it with him tonight, moaning and complaining like that? He’s not a little child who needs-
With a vivid flash, some images from the nightmare return. He shakes his head to rid himself of the memories. All right, he does know why he’s in this mood.
Jack pushes himself upright. His whole body feels leaden, as if he hasn’t slept at all. He slowly pulls on his jeans - the Doctor’s been pretty clear about wandering around the TARDIS naked. “Rose is on board. 21st century Earth rules.” And Jack really doesn’t want to make Rose uncomfortable, so he always makes sure he’s at least minimally covered when leaving his bedroom. Or the Doctor’s bedroom, as the case may be.
He opens the door and looks along the corridor, dimly lit for ship night. A snack would be just the thing now. Pop to the kitchen and grab a sandwich or something. Maybe have a look into the console room, just to make sure everything is okay. He’s not looking for the Doctor. Of course he isn’t. He’s not a kid who needs a hug and a kiss before he can go back to sleep.
He’s just past the gym and rounding the corner when he sees a shadow move in the dim light at the other end of the corridor. “Doctor?” he calls.
The shape turns and comes closer, but it’s not the Doctor. Jack stiffens. It’s a thin man with tousled brown hair, wearing a pin-striped suit. How did this stranger get into the TARDIS?
The stranger is grinning broadly. “Jack! What are you doing up at this hour?”
Jack takes a step back. “Who’re you? And how the hell do you know my name?”
The stranger stops, clearly confused. “What? But - what?” He cocks his head, closing the distance between them and looks Jack over carefully. Jack stiffens, ready to punch the stranger’s face - pretty face, though, would be a shame to break it - when the other man’s eyes widen in sudden understanding and he takes a step back. “Oh. Well, this is a bit awkward.”
Jack growls, and grabs the stranger by his lapels with his left, drawing back his right. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Who are you, and how did you get on the Doctor’s ship?”
“Ah. Right. Yeah, well, that’s actually a bit - well, it’s funny, except it’s not, because clearly this is a problem, and I’m not - well, I shouldn’t be here. Or you shouldn’t. One of us, at any rate. Depends on which loop-“
Jack has to fight hard to resist the urge to shake the stranger. “Just answer the question, dammit.”
“Right. Well, it’s really simple. Well, I say simple-”
“Jack? You around, lad? TARDIS seems to think I need to check on-”
Jack almost slumps with relief as he spots the familiar leather-clad figure over the stranger’s shoulder. The Doctor will know how to deal with this.
“What the - who’re-” The Doctor stands next to Jack, staring at the stranger incredulously. There’s danger glittering in his eyes, tension in ever fiber of his body.
And then it stops. His posture relaxes, his anger dissolves into something like mild irritation. “Oh. Bugger.”
“Quite. Yes. Um, do you suppose you could ask your Jack to let me go? I though he was mine at first, and I suppose I startled him a little, and-”
The Doctor sighs. “Yeah. Let him go, Jack.”
“But - he just appeared in the TARDIS! While we’re in the Vortex! That shouldn’t even be possible!”
“Right. Shouldn’t be. So you better let go of him so we can sort this, yeah?”
Jack doesn’t understand, but he obeys. The stranger starts fiddling with his lapels and his tie, smiling at him winningly. “Thank you. And may I say the shirtless look suits you? Not that I haven’t said that before, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever said it to you yet, or rather, if he has said it, that is to say, well, hmm…”
The Doctor growls. “Which one are you?”
The stranger smiles. “Right after you.”
The Doctor rolls his eyes. “Fantastic. Just what I need.” He glances from Jack to the stranger and back. “And not even that far from now, if you didn’t see he wasn’t yours straight away.”
The stranger flinches. “You know I can’t tell-“
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Also, this little incident here is probably making a right muddle of the timelines, anyway. Or do you remember this?”
The stranger shakes his head. “Nope,” he says, popping the p. “No idea. Sorry.”
“Which means that your timeline and my timeline may not even intersect, in the regular course of events. Which is what we need to get back to.”
“Right! We really need to get this fixed.” The stranger nods and pulls something from his pocket. Something terribly familiar.
“Err… sorry,” Jack speaks up. “But… well… What the hell is going on here? Who are you? And how did you get the Doctor’s screwdriver?”
The Doctor puts a hand on Jack’s arm. He exchanges a glance with the stranger, who shrugs. “You’re older. Protocol says-”
“Protocol burned with everything else.” The stranger shakes his head. “He’s yours.”
“Right. Listen, lad - this is gonna be weird, yeah?”
Jack raises an eyebrow. “It already is.” The stranger chuckles, and Jack glares at him.
“Right. Well, the thing is-“ He nods at the stranger. “That’s me.”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?”
The Doctor sighs. “Should have told you about this before. There’s something Time Lords do. ‘S called ‘regeneration.’”
“Jack knows about those,” the stranger interjects, and how the hell does he know that?
“Yeah, I do. Heard about them at the Academy. Well, they thought it was a myth. But - yeah, it’s when you die, you don’t, you just grow a new body, right?”
The other men exchange a glance. “Close enough to be getting on with, yeah. An’ this - well, that’s my next body.”
“What?” Jack stares back and forth between the two men. Even though the Doctor’s rough hand is still resting on his arm, he feels the sharp stab of loss piercing his gut. His gaze drops. “Oh. I didn’t realize.”
“Realize what?”
“He thought growing a new body just meant another one of the same. Exact copy. The Time Agency has no idea how much we change. Well, I say change, of course we don’t, not really, it’s all just separate aspects, aspects that always were there. Nothing imp-“
“Shut it!” the Doctor - well, his Doctor, for clearly the other man is the Doctor as well - growls. “Can’t you see this is rough on the bloke?”
He can feel both men looking at him now.
“I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry. But it’ll be okay, Jack. Really. I promise. My Jack got used to it after a while.”
“But I’m not your Jack!” He glares at the older Doctor.
“Well… no… not yet.”
“May never be! You said so, right?” He looks at the Doctor - his Doctor, the proper Doctor. “Our timeline and his timeline may not even intersect, right?”
The Doctor wavers. Then he seems to come to a decision. He pulls Jack into a hug. “Right. May not. May not regenerate for centuries in this timeline. Entirely possible.”
Jack burrows into the hug. This has nothing to do with the nightmare, nor with all his other losses. And he doesn’t care if he’s being childish. He’s prepared to sacrifice his dignity if it allows him to think that he won’t lose the Doctor. He’s prepared to pretend he didn’t see the imploring glance the Doctor sent to his older self, nor the small rueful smile sent in return. He just holds on.
“I hate to interrupt, really I do, but, might I point out, timelines? If we don’t get this fixed, well, more like untangled, really, well, given the complexities, we-”
Jack’s Doctor snaps, “Yeah. Know that.” He ends the hug, but keeps a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “No idea what went wrong, though. Adjusted the shields only last week, me. You?”
“Oh, yes, the shields are fine. We just finished a complete overhaul, me and Jack. Checked them all, prime condition, top-notch. Nothing wrong with my shields. No, sir.”
Jack looks up. “The shields? You’re saying this has something to do with the shields?”
“Must have. Two TARDISes intersecting - well, the same TARDIS, which is where the problem comes in, but from different timelines, merging into each other like that, must mean the inferential has been thrown off, but the shields are supposed to recalibrate and counteract any vectors that-”
“What he’s saying is, the shields should have stopped this. TARDIS comes too close to herself, automatic rebound. Why d’you think our London landings tend to be rougher than elsewhere? ‘S not just because I loathe Jackie Tyler.” The Doctor sends him a small grin.
“Ah, you don’t loathe her, as such, it’s more that you’re a bit scared of her, but you know, we really deserved that slap, if you think about it, after all we-”
Jack gulps. “Um. I - I have a confession.” Both men turn to him. He bites his lip.
His Doctor raises an eyebrow. “Well?”
“I - um - I kinda-“
The Doctor’s gaze turns hard. Bores right into him. God, he normally loves it when his lover’s attention is so completely focused on him, but right now it just makes him wish for a wormhole to open and swallow him. Doesn’t help that the other Doctor is looking at him equally intensely.
His Doctor grabs him by the shoulders. “’Gonna ask this one time, lad. Did you do something to the shields?”
He straightens. He swore to himself, standing next to a Chula ambulance on some railway tracks swarming with zombies, that he would never deny responsibility for his actions again, no matter how bad the screw-up. “Yes. I wanted to improve the phase alignment. I realized that if someone had enough raw energy and a trimensional buffer coupling, something as simple as a pangalactical transmat could reach right through and-“
“You changed the shields. Without asking me. Without even telling me.”
“I - I’m not done yet. I wanted to show you when they’re ready. Thought you’d be - anyway, I really didn’t change much. Just adjusted the phase filters and-”
The Doctor drops his hands and turns away. He starts walking towards the console room. “Congratulations, boy. Today you really did almost destroy the entire universe.”
The words hit Jack like a physical blow. He is rooted to the spot. Barely able to breathe, he stares at his feet. He’s an idiot. What he’s done wouldn’t compromise the shields’ base functionality on any normal ship. But he knows better than to think of the TARDIS as a normal ship, doesn’t he? His little plan to surprise the Doctor, make him proud of him, has backfired spectacularly.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up. The other Doctor looks sympathetic. “Come on. We’ll need you in the console room, to show us exactly what you did.”
“I don’t want him anywhere near the console!” his Doctor throws back over his shoulder, before he turns a corner and disappears.
Jack looks away. God, he’s going to throw up.
The older Doctor squeezes his shoulder gently. “Come on. You know him well enough to know that his bark is worse than his bite.”
Jack shakes his head. He’s too ashamed to even look at the stranger, who, though he’s not his Doctor, is still a Doctor. “He hasn’t been this angry at me since the nanogenes.”
“No, I haven’t. But you know what?”
Jack looks up and sees a smile play across the other man’s lips. “I got over the nanogenes. And that was before I loved you.”
Jack shakes his head. “Only makes the disappointment worse.”
“Like he has never disappointed you?” The unfamiliar Doctor massages his neck - in exactly the way that Jack loves so much, the way that always makes him relax. Almost always.
This time, it only makes him tense up more. “He’s not just going to forgive me for this.”
“No. Not just. Because first, you have to understand why he’s so upset about this.”
“Because I endangered - well, everything?”
“No. Yes. I mean, he’s not happy about that. But, let’s face it, the universe gets endangered pretty much on a weekly basis.” The manic grin is achingly familiar. “Don’t think about it on a universal scale. Just think about this. You, him… the TARDIS.” There’s subtle emphasis on the last word. The Doctor winks at him. He can tell there’s a message there, but he’s not sure what it is. “Come on, now. No matter what he said - I said - oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, we’ll need you in the console room.”
With a gulp and a nod, he follows the other Doctor down the corridor. When they reach the console room, they find the Doctor already buried under the console. “The kino-temporal buffers seem fine.”
“I didn’t touch those, I just-”
The Doctor abruptly pushes himself out from under the console and glares at him. “I said I don’t want him near the console.”
“Oh, yes, right, sorry. Let’s just take the shields apart and look at every single bit to figure out what’s wrong ourselves. After all, we have all the time in the world. Not as if anything bad is going to happen if we don’t get them back to normal soon, is it? Well, apart from the end of the universe, but still, why save time when we can just-“
“All right!” The Doctor glares at his older self and Jack in turn. “Jack, you stand right there. Don’t move an inch, understood?”
He nods. His throat feels tight, but he stands up very straight. He’s getting what he deserves, and he’s not going to cringe and whine about it.
“Right. Now tell me exactly what you did. And I mean every single detail, even if it seems unimportant to your little ape brain.”
The older Doctor flinches. “Aw, now that was a bit harsh, don’t you think?”
Jack’s Doctor glares at him. “You get your skinny arse in here and help me with the filters.”
With a shrug, the other Doctor complies.
“Where’s your Jack, anyway?” Seeing the older Doctor’s critical glance, he adds “I just mean, is he likely to walk in on us?”
“Oh. No, don’t think so. Fast asleep, last time I checked. We’ve had a bit of an exhausting day, and he’s over the nightmares by my time, so-“
“Nightmares?” For a second, the Doctor’s gaze meets Jack’s.
“Oh, dear, hasn’t he told you yet? So sorry.” But the Doctor is grinning.
“If you’re messing with the timelines-“
“I know what I’m doing just as well as you do. Better, actually - older and wiser, you know?”
The Doctor scoffs. “Yeah, right.” He pushes himself back under the console. “Right, now, Jack, tell me - us - exactly what you did.”
*****
Half an hour later, both Doctors pronounce the shields fixed. Jack still doesn’t fully understand why his adjustment had such a catastrophic effect, but apparently it has something to do with the alignments of dimensions twenty-three to thirty-one, which “dense little ape brains” couldn’t even begin to calculate correctly.
He’s still standing in his spot by the door. The Doctor said don’t move, and he hasn’t. Mutely, he watches the Time Lords doing something complex that will apparently blast the timelines back into their proper place again.
His Doctor straightens. “Well, that’s that, then.”
The other Doctor nods. “Molto bene.”
“So-“ He has to ask. “Everything’s going to be all right, then?”
His Doctor glowers, but the older Time Lord bounces over to him and pats his shoulder. “Oh, yes. One more push of a button, and we’re fine. Timelines unentangled, universe back in balance, everyone back in their own TARDIS, nothing to worry about.”
Jack nods, relieved. But there’s still an enormous lump in his throat.
The older Doctor leans closer and whispers in his ear. “Remember what I said, all right? Oh, and also - he really loves you.” He pulls back and gives him a grin. “We’re rubbish at saying it, though.”
Jack’s eyes are burning. This Doctor’s Jack has never caused the mess he caused tonight - or if he did, this Doctor doesn’t remember it, at least for now, though if he will once he’s back in his own TARDIS is anyone’s guess. He doesn’t think that he’ll be forgiven for a screw-up on this scale a second time.
“Right, then.” The older Doctor bounds back up to the console and smiles at his younger self. “You do the honors. And take good care of yourself.”
The Doctor nods gruffly. He hits a button. Sparks fly, and the older Doctor begins to fade.
“Oh,” the fading shape says cheerfully. “And don’t be too hard on Jack. He’s a good man, for all his flaws.” The manic grin that is so similar to the younger Doctor’s is back. “And besides, who’re we to complain about flaws, eh?” With a wink and a chuckle, he disappears.
Jack is standing rooted to the spot. He desperately wants to speak, to apologize, but the Doctor’s dark glower and rigid pose keep him quiet.
Finally, the Doctor speaks. “Go back to bed, Jack.”
“But-”
“Go! I can’t talk to you now.” The Doctor turns away.
“I deserve-“
“Out of my sight!”
Jack can’t take this. It’s not that he wants to be yelled at, of course. But he deserves it. And he wants to know, needs to know, what this means. Will he be allowed to stay on the TARDIS? Will he and the Doctor still be… But he has no right to make any demands. Biting his tongue so hard he tastes blood, Jack turns and goes to his room.
*****
Go to part 2.
Alone. He glances at his wrist comp. Half past three. Jack sighs. He knows he’s being childish. It’s a concession on the Doctor’s part to even stay with him until he falls asleep most nights. Well, maybe not just a concession - Jack likes to think that the Doctor does get something out of holding his lover after they have sex - the little kisses, the gentle petting, the whispered nothings, the spent and undemanding physical closeness. But anyway, it would be silly to expect the Time Lord, who barely needs any sleep, to stay with him all night, just to keep the nightmares at bay. Nightmares he’s never mentioned to the Doctor, at that. And anyway, it’s not like he has them every night.
Still, even without them, Jack has to admit he’d just like to wake up next to his lover sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes. Would make him feel less like an opportunity fuck.
Okay, now he’s being ridiculous. He knows very well he’s far more than that. The Doctor doesn’t even do opportunity fucks. He’s the one in this relationship who’s given to those, after all.
Used to be great at them. Expert. Had them all the time, almost always exquisit. But he gave them up, cold-turkey, without a moan, without a pang of regret, when they began this relationship. And the Doctor can’t even spend a few nights-
Damn, what is it with him tonight, moaning and complaining like that? He’s not a little child who needs-
With a vivid flash, some images from the nightmare return. He shakes his head to rid himself of the memories. All right, he does know why he’s in this mood.
Jack pushes himself upright. His whole body feels leaden, as if he hasn’t slept at all. He slowly pulls on his jeans - the Doctor’s been pretty clear about wandering around the TARDIS naked. “Rose is on board. 21st century Earth rules.” And Jack really doesn’t want to make Rose uncomfortable, so he always makes sure he’s at least minimally covered when leaving his bedroom. Or the Doctor’s bedroom, as the case may be.
He opens the door and looks along the corridor, dimly lit for ship night. A snack would be just the thing now. Pop to the kitchen and grab a sandwich or something. Maybe have a look into the console room, just to make sure everything is okay. He’s not looking for the Doctor. Of course he isn’t. He’s not a kid who needs a hug and a kiss before he can go back to sleep.
He’s just past the gym and rounding the corner when he sees a shadow move in the dim light at the other end of the corridor. “Doctor?” he calls.
The shape turns and comes closer, but it’s not the Doctor. Jack stiffens. It’s a thin man with tousled brown hair, wearing a pin-striped suit. How did this stranger get into the TARDIS?
The stranger is grinning broadly. “Jack! What are you doing up at this hour?”
Jack takes a step back. “Who’re you? And how the hell do you know my name?”
The stranger stops, clearly confused. “What? But - what?” He cocks his head, closing the distance between them and looks Jack over carefully. Jack stiffens, ready to punch the stranger’s face - pretty face, though, would be a shame to break it - when the other man’s eyes widen in sudden understanding and he takes a step back. “Oh. Well, this is a bit awkward.”
Jack growls, and grabs the stranger by his lapels with his left, drawing back his right. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Who are you, and how did you get on the Doctor’s ship?”
“Ah. Right. Yeah, well, that’s actually a bit - well, it’s funny, except it’s not, because clearly this is a problem, and I’m not - well, I shouldn’t be here. Or you shouldn’t. One of us, at any rate. Depends on which loop-“
Jack has to fight hard to resist the urge to shake the stranger. “Just answer the question, dammit.”
“Right. Well, it’s really simple. Well, I say simple-”
“Jack? You around, lad? TARDIS seems to think I need to check on-”
Jack almost slumps with relief as he spots the familiar leather-clad figure over the stranger’s shoulder. The Doctor will know how to deal with this.
“What the - who’re-” The Doctor stands next to Jack, staring at the stranger incredulously. There’s danger glittering in his eyes, tension in ever fiber of his body.
And then it stops. His posture relaxes, his anger dissolves into something like mild irritation. “Oh. Bugger.”
“Quite. Yes. Um, do you suppose you could ask your Jack to let me go? I though he was mine at first, and I suppose I startled him a little, and-”
The Doctor sighs. “Yeah. Let him go, Jack.”
“But - he just appeared in the TARDIS! While we’re in the Vortex! That shouldn’t even be possible!”
“Right. Shouldn’t be. So you better let go of him so we can sort this, yeah?”
Jack doesn’t understand, but he obeys. The stranger starts fiddling with his lapels and his tie, smiling at him winningly. “Thank you. And may I say the shirtless look suits you? Not that I haven’t said that before, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever said it to you yet, or rather, if he has said it, that is to say, well, hmm…”
The Doctor growls. “Which one are you?”
The stranger smiles. “Right after you.”
The Doctor rolls his eyes. “Fantastic. Just what I need.” He glances from Jack to the stranger and back. “And not even that far from now, if you didn’t see he wasn’t yours straight away.”
The stranger flinches. “You know I can’t tell-“
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Also, this little incident here is probably making a right muddle of the timelines, anyway. Or do you remember this?”
The stranger shakes his head. “Nope,” he says, popping the p. “No idea. Sorry.”
“Which means that your timeline and my timeline may not even intersect, in the regular course of events. Which is what we need to get back to.”
“Right! We really need to get this fixed.” The stranger nods and pulls something from his pocket. Something terribly familiar.
“Err… sorry,” Jack speaks up. “But… well… What the hell is going on here? Who are you? And how did you get the Doctor’s screwdriver?”
The Doctor puts a hand on Jack’s arm. He exchanges a glance with the stranger, who shrugs. “You’re older. Protocol says-”
“Protocol burned with everything else.” The stranger shakes his head. “He’s yours.”
“Right. Listen, lad - this is gonna be weird, yeah?”
Jack raises an eyebrow. “It already is.” The stranger chuckles, and Jack glares at him.
“Right. Well, the thing is-“ He nods at the stranger. “That’s me.”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?”
The Doctor sighs. “Should have told you about this before. There’s something Time Lords do. ‘S called ‘regeneration.’”
“Jack knows about those,” the stranger interjects, and how the hell does he know that?
“Yeah, I do. Heard about them at the Academy. Well, they thought it was a myth. But - yeah, it’s when you die, you don’t, you just grow a new body, right?”
The other men exchange a glance. “Close enough to be getting on with, yeah. An’ this - well, that’s my next body.”
“What?” Jack stares back and forth between the two men. Even though the Doctor’s rough hand is still resting on his arm, he feels the sharp stab of loss piercing his gut. His gaze drops. “Oh. I didn’t realize.”
“Realize what?”
“He thought growing a new body just meant another one of the same. Exact copy. The Time Agency has no idea how much we change. Well, I say change, of course we don’t, not really, it’s all just separate aspects, aspects that always were there. Nothing imp-“
“Shut it!” the Doctor - well, his Doctor, for clearly the other man is the Doctor as well - growls. “Can’t you see this is rough on the bloke?”
He can feel both men looking at him now.
“I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry. But it’ll be okay, Jack. Really. I promise. My Jack got used to it after a while.”
“But I’m not your Jack!” He glares at the older Doctor.
“Well… no… not yet.”
“May never be! You said so, right?” He looks at the Doctor - his Doctor, the proper Doctor. “Our timeline and his timeline may not even intersect, right?”
The Doctor wavers. Then he seems to come to a decision. He pulls Jack into a hug. “Right. May not. May not regenerate for centuries in this timeline. Entirely possible.”
Jack burrows into the hug. This has nothing to do with the nightmare, nor with all his other losses. And he doesn’t care if he’s being childish. He’s prepared to sacrifice his dignity if it allows him to think that he won’t lose the Doctor. He’s prepared to pretend he didn’t see the imploring glance the Doctor sent to his older self, nor the small rueful smile sent in return. He just holds on.
“I hate to interrupt, really I do, but, might I point out, timelines? If we don’t get this fixed, well, more like untangled, really, well, given the complexities, we-”
Jack’s Doctor snaps, “Yeah. Know that.” He ends the hug, but keeps a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “No idea what went wrong, though. Adjusted the shields only last week, me. You?”
“Oh, yes, the shields are fine. We just finished a complete overhaul, me and Jack. Checked them all, prime condition, top-notch. Nothing wrong with my shields. No, sir.”
Jack looks up. “The shields? You’re saying this has something to do with the shields?”
“Must have. Two TARDISes intersecting - well, the same TARDIS, which is where the problem comes in, but from different timelines, merging into each other like that, must mean the inferential has been thrown off, but the shields are supposed to recalibrate and counteract any vectors that-”
“What he’s saying is, the shields should have stopped this. TARDIS comes too close to herself, automatic rebound. Why d’you think our London landings tend to be rougher than elsewhere? ‘S not just because I loathe Jackie Tyler.” The Doctor sends him a small grin.
“Ah, you don’t loathe her, as such, it’s more that you’re a bit scared of her, but you know, we really deserved that slap, if you think about it, after all we-”
Jack gulps. “Um. I - I have a confession.” Both men turn to him. He bites his lip.
His Doctor raises an eyebrow. “Well?”
“I - um - I kinda-“
The Doctor’s gaze turns hard. Bores right into him. God, he normally loves it when his lover’s attention is so completely focused on him, but right now it just makes him wish for a wormhole to open and swallow him. Doesn’t help that the other Doctor is looking at him equally intensely.
His Doctor grabs him by the shoulders. “’Gonna ask this one time, lad. Did you do something to the shields?”
He straightens. He swore to himself, standing next to a Chula ambulance on some railway tracks swarming with zombies, that he would never deny responsibility for his actions again, no matter how bad the screw-up. “Yes. I wanted to improve the phase alignment. I realized that if someone had enough raw energy and a trimensional buffer coupling, something as simple as a pangalactical transmat could reach right through and-“
“You changed the shields. Without asking me. Without even telling me.”
“I - I’m not done yet. I wanted to show you when they’re ready. Thought you’d be - anyway, I really didn’t change much. Just adjusted the phase filters and-”
The Doctor drops his hands and turns away. He starts walking towards the console room. “Congratulations, boy. Today you really did almost destroy the entire universe.”
The words hit Jack like a physical blow. He is rooted to the spot. Barely able to breathe, he stares at his feet. He’s an idiot. What he’s done wouldn’t compromise the shields’ base functionality on any normal ship. But he knows better than to think of the TARDIS as a normal ship, doesn’t he? His little plan to surprise the Doctor, make him proud of him, has backfired spectacularly.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up. The other Doctor looks sympathetic. “Come on. We’ll need you in the console room, to show us exactly what you did.”
“I don’t want him anywhere near the console!” his Doctor throws back over his shoulder, before he turns a corner and disappears.
Jack looks away. God, he’s going to throw up.
The older Doctor squeezes his shoulder gently. “Come on. You know him well enough to know that his bark is worse than his bite.”
Jack shakes his head. He’s too ashamed to even look at the stranger, who, though he’s not his Doctor, is still a Doctor. “He hasn’t been this angry at me since the nanogenes.”
“No, I haven’t. But you know what?”
Jack looks up and sees a smile play across the other man’s lips. “I got over the nanogenes. And that was before I loved you.”
Jack shakes his head. “Only makes the disappointment worse.”
“Like he has never disappointed you?” The unfamiliar Doctor massages his neck - in exactly the way that Jack loves so much, the way that always makes him relax. Almost always.
This time, it only makes him tense up more. “He’s not just going to forgive me for this.”
“No. Not just. Because first, you have to understand why he’s so upset about this.”
“Because I endangered - well, everything?”
“No. Yes. I mean, he’s not happy about that. But, let’s face it, the universe gets endangered pretty much on a weekly basis.” The manic grin is achingly familiar. “Don’t think about it on a universal scale. Just think about this. You, him… the TARDIS.” There’s subtle emphasis on the last word. The Doctor winks at him. He can tell there’s a message there, but he’s not sure what it is. “Come on, now. No matter what he said - I said - oh, you know what I mean. Anyway, we’ll need you in the console room.”
With a gulp and a nod, he follows the other Doctor down the corridor. When they reach the console room, they find the Doctor already buried under the console. “The kino-temporal buffers seem fine.”
“I didn’t touch those, I just-”
The Doctor abruptly pushes himself out from under the console and glares at him. “I said I don’t want him near the console.”
“Oh, yes, right, sorry. Let’s just take the shields apart and look at every single bit to figure out what’s wrong ourselves. After all, we have all the time in the world. Not as if anything bad is going to happen if we don’t get them back to normal soon, is it? Well, apart from the end of the universe, but still, why save time when we can just-“
“All right!” The Doctor glares at his older self and Jack in turn. “Jack, you stand right there. Don’t move an inch, understood?”
He nods. His throat feels tight, but he stands up very straight. He’s getting what he deserves, and he’s not going to cringe and whine about it.
“Right. Now tell me exactly what you did. And I mean every single detail, even if it seems unimportant to your little ape brain.”
The older Doctor flinches. “Aw, now that was a bit harsh, don’t you think?”
Jack’s Doctor glares at him. “You get your skinny arse in here and help me with the filters.”
With a shrug, the other Doctor complies.
“Where’s your Jack, anyway?” Seeing the older Doctor’s critical glance, he adds “I just mean, is he likely to walk in on us?”
“Oh. No, don’t think so. Fast asleep, last time I checked. We’ve had a bit of an exhausting day, and he’s over the nightmares by my time, so-“
“Nightmares?” For a second, the Doctor’s gaze meets Jack’s.
“Oh, dear, hasn’t he told you yet? So sorry.” But the Doctor is grinning.
“If you’re messing with the timelines-“
“I know what I’m doing just as well as you do. Better, actually - older and wiser, you know?”
The Doctor scoffs. “Yeah, right.” He pushes himself back under the console. “Right, now, Jack, tell me - us - exactly what you did.”
*****
Half an hour later, both Doctors pronounce the shields fixed. Jack still doesn’t fully understand why his adjustment had such a catastrophic effect, but apparently it has something to do with the alignments of dimensions twenty-three to thirty-one, which “dense little ape brains” couldn’t even begin to calculate correctly.
He’s still standing in his spot by the door. The Doctor said don’t move, and he hasn’t. Mutely, he watches the Time Lords doing something complex that will apparently blast the timelines back into their proper place again.
His Doctor straightens. “Well, that’s that, then.”
The other Doctor nods. “Molto bene.”
“So-“ He has to ask. “Everything’s going to be all right, then?”
His Doctor glowers, but the older Time Lord bounces over to him and pats his shoulder. “Oh, yes. One more push of a button, and we’re fine. Timelines unentangled, universe back in balance, everyone back in their own TARDIS, nothing to worry about.”
Jack nods, relieved. But there’s still an enormous lump in his throat.
The older Doctor leans closer and whispers in his ear. “Remember what I said, all right? Oh, and also - he really loves you.” He pulls back and gives him a grin. “We’re rubbish at saying it, though.”
Jack’s eyes are burning. This Doctor’s Jack has never caused the mess he caused tonight - or if he did, this Doctor doesn’t remember it, at least for now, though if he will once he’s back in his own TARDIS is anyone’s guess. He doesn’t think that he’ll be forgiven for a screw-up on this scale a second time.
“Right, then.” The older Doctor bounds back up to the console and smiles at his younger self. “You do the honors. And take good care of yourself.”
The Doctor nods gruffly. He hits a button. Sparks fly, and the older Doctor begins to fade.
“Oh,” the fading shape says cheerfully. “And don’t be too hard on Jack. He’s a good man, for all his flaws.” The manic grin that is so similar to the younger Doctor’s is back. “And besides, who’re we to complain about flaws, eh?” With a wink and a chuckle, he disappears.
Jack is standing rooted to the spot. He desperately wants to speak, to apologize, but the Doctor’s dark glower and rigid pose keep him quiet.
Finally, the Doctor speaks. “Go back to bed, Jack.”
“But-”
“Go! I can’t talk to you now.” The Doctor turns away.
“I deserve-“
“Out of my sight!”
Jack can’t take this. It’s not that he wants to be yelled at, of course. But he deserves it. And he wants to know, needs to know, what this means. Will he be allowed to stay on the TARDIS? Will he and the Doctor still be… But he has no right to make any demands. Biting his tongue so hard he tastes blood, Jack turns and goes to his room.
*****
Go to part 2.