Beachy Geek "The Gifts" (Ten/Jack) [NC-17/Adult]
Title: The Gifts
Author: Beachy Geek
Challenge: 2011 Death Challenge
Rating: NC-17/Adult for graphic sex
Pairing: Ten/Jack
Words: 3,481
Spoilers: Gridlock
Summary: We are never alone when we have memories of those we’ve loved
“Ow!” The Doctor squirmed as Jack probed for the last of the gravel embedded in the palm of his hand. The Captain was unresponsive as he grasped the tiny stone and withdrew it. He tossed it and the forceps into the stainless steel basin nearby and irrigated the bleeding wounds with sterile saline and antiseptic as the Doctor squirmed again. “Jack! Ouch, that stings!” His handsome companion’s face was an unreadable mask. He wasn’t playing the game. Something was very wrong.
Whenever one or the other of them had sustained minor injuries it was almost always the same routine. The victim whinged and swooned and moaned whilst the healer responded with hugs and caresses and lingering kisses. By the time a laceration had been closed or a bone had been knitted they were both usually aroused beyond reason. Sometimes they made it to their bedroom. Sometimes not. Always, the sex was good. It was playful and tender and joyous, a celebration of one more adventure and one more escape with their hides relatively intact. Now Jack was somber and unsmiling as he stroked the dermal regenerator over torn flesh, and there was a haunted look in his eyes.
Today had begun in the usual fashion. They had answered a distress call from a tiny primitive world on the outer reaches of the Lakimata Spiral. A transport ship relocating the last group of inmates from a dying prison planet to another within the galaxy’s hub had crash landed and loosed its cargo upon an unsuspecting population incapable of defending itself. Jack and the Doctor had quickly repaired the ship and re-set the autopilot before assisting the warden in the roundup of escapees, some of whom were carrying weapons stolen from the ship’s guards.
Unfortunately one of the prisoners remained at large and as they headed down the path from the bluffs towards the TARDIS to do a regional gene sequence search he had come at them, armed with a shatter ray aimed point blank at the Doctor’s chest. He got off a shot before Jack had engaged his weapon. If the Doctor hadn’t tripped over a stone in the path a split second earlier both of his hearts would have been blown to pieces and he would be dead, never to regenerate. As it was he got off with some gravel in his palm and a bruised ego. Jack had immediately returned fire, killing the prisoner before hauling the Doctor into the TARDIS and down to the med bay. He hadn’t spoken a word since.
As Jack powered down the regenerator the Doctor wiggled his fingers and smiled broadly. “There we go-good as new! And I’m starving, I could do with with a proper dinner. There’s that pasta left from yesterday, or maybe some--”
“I’m not hungry. I need a hot shower and some sleep, Doctor. I think I’ll just head off to my room. Good night.” His room. Not their room.
“Jack?” The Doctor reached up to cup his Captain’s cheek but before he could make contact his target had moved away and headed out the door. “Jack!”
*** *** ***
The Doctor picked half-heartedly at some dinner before wandering up to the console room. He spent an hour rewiring the transitional matrix but was too preoccupied with thoughts of Jack to enjoy it. He was grimy and tired and worried. A hot shower and some sleep were beginning to sound good to him as well, but as he entered the bedroom he and Jack shared an overwhelming sense of loneliness hit him like a slap in the face. He hurried through his shower, wrapped a towel around himself, and headed down the hall towards Jack’s old room.
He didn’t bother to knock, just eased the door open and padded softly to the bedside. The Captain was stretched out, his back to the Doctor, and the covers were puddled on the floor. The Doctor’s breath caught as he stood for a moment gazing at the other man’s muscular back, long legs, and firm ass. His beautiful Jack. Despite his trepidation he felt his cock twitch as the beginnings of need pooled in his belly. He threw aside the towel, crawled up onto the bed and knelt beside the other man waiting for some sort of response. When heard a quiet sniffle and knew Jack had been crying he could stay silent no more.
“Please. Please, Jack, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, I can help.” He reached out a hand and rubbed soothing circles on his companion’s shoulder. “Are you upset with me? Did I do something?” At that the time agent rolled and sat up. His eyes were red-rimmed and his mouth was set.
“Yes. You did. You almost died today.”
“Is that all? Gods, Jack, it’s not the first time and it won’t be the last! And I’m fine, look, no worse for wear. Handsome as ever!” The Doctor’s cheeky grin faded as he saw fresh tears roll down the distraught man’s face. He reached out and gently thumbed them away before leaning in to place tender kisses on Jack’s forehead, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. He sidled over to the pillows and lay back on them, drawing Jack down with him into an embrace. “Really though, love. It’s okay. I’m here, I’ve got you.” The Captain pulled back and propped himself on one elbow. He placed his free hand on the Doctor’s chest and felt the thrum of two beating hearts.
“Yeah. Because you tripped over a fucking rock. I should have had my blaster up, or stayed close enough to jump in front of you. I need to save you, every time, and I wasn’t ready. What if there’s no rock next time? What if I screw up? He had a clear shot to your hearts, Doctor.” Jack’s voice caught and threatened to break. “Your beautiful hearts...”
“Jack, look at me. Look at me! I’m here, now, because you have saved my life, so many times! And I’m grateful for that Jack, so grateful, but let me make one thing clear. You are not responsible for me. That is not your burden.” The Time Lord smiled ruefully. “I am going to die at some point, that’s a given. I’m not immortal.”
“And when you do, I’ll be alone. I know you’ve lost people Doctor, and so have I, and it sucks but we’ve gotten through it. It’s different with you. I’ve loved you for hundreds of years. I hope to love you for thousands more. You’re already so much a part of me that I can’t bear the thought of losing you, of forgetting you. The sound of your voice. Your taste. The look in your eyes when you come. I’ll forget you. I can’t face billions of years without even a memory of you.” The Captain choked back a sob. “I loved Ianto. I loved him so much-and I can’t remember his scent. It hurts.”
“And you thought that if you pulled back-if you tried not to love me-it would hurt that much less when I was gone. Because the love isn’t worth all of that pain.”
“Yes.”
“Impossible. Look at me!” The Time Lord immediately regretted his words when he saw the raw pain in his Captain’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.” The Doctor drew Jack back down to his chest and carded his fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. “Oh, Jack. I tried that, remember? Travelling alone, pushing away anyone I might be tempted to care too much about. The Time Lord Victorious, sound familiar? It took that to make me realize that love and companionship is worth the pain of being left behind. I love you Jack.” The Doctor slowly rolled them both over and began trailing kisses along his partner’s neck. “I love you, and all that matters is that we’re together now. We create our memories now. Let tomorrow take care of itself.”
Any argument Jack may have had was muffled by the Doctor’s deepening kisses. Soft lips grasped and pulled, sucked and nuzzled. Insistent tongues dueled, probed, teased and delighted. Jack drank in the essence of cinnamon and sage and that indefinable something that always reminded him of fresh cut clover grass on a summer’s day. The scent and taste of a Time Lord. It was intoxicating. The Doctor worked his way down the Captain’s body pausing to teethe and tease his sensitive nipples until they were rigid pebbles.
He settled himself between the Jack’s legs and licked long strokes along his belly before nibbling and biting at the curve of his hip and the tender flesh on the inside of his thigh. The musky, human male scent and the pheromone cloud that was uniquely Jack assailed his heightened senses and when at last he mouthed first one, then the other of Jack’s swollen balls the moans and whimpers he elicited made his own ache sweetly as well. He threw one leg over and rutted against Jack’s thigh as he engulfed the other man’s thick, engorged cock, taking the entire length into his cool throat over and over again.
He felt Jack’s hand on his, pulling him away and upwards, and he quickly kissed his way back up the taught belly until once again their lips fed each other’s hunger. He reached down between them and encircled both of their throbbing shafts with one long-fingered, elegant hand and they rocked gently together. Soft cries and small gasps echoed in each others mouths. As Jack spread his legs wider and began to draw his knees up the Doctor broke their kiss.
“No! Not this time!” He leaned back on his haunches and braced his hands on Jack’s abdomen, head bowed as if in supplication. When he raised it again he was smiling. “I want K’Obec, Jack. With you. If you’ll have me.”
Jack smiled back, his eyes hooded and pupils blasted with desire. “Are you…did you just propose?”
The Doctor chuckled softly and leaned over to lightly pepper Jack’s belly with kisses. “In a way, I suppose I did! But it’s not marriage although in a way it is a joining. It’s more than that Jack. It’s an ancient tradition, a sacred giving of one’s self to another. It’s a way of ensuring that the memory of a Time Lord is preserved, a sort of living history carried within another. It’s the ultimate trust, the most intimate union. There is only one chosen. And I choose you. I want you to be my K’Obec La’a.”
“So you give me your memories? Like a telepathic link?”
“No. Our genetic material combines to create a K’Obec Ir, a sort of living hard drive within the La’a. A Time Lord’s memories are stored there, accessible at will but otherwise buried.” The Doctor stretched out over the time agent’s body and looked deeply into his eyes. Jack thought he never looked more ancient-or more beautiful. “Just think of it, Jack. Everything I was, everything I am or ever will be. As long as I’m alive the Ir will store memories. And after I’m gone…” The Doctor’s eyes were wet with tears now, and his voice trembled with emotion. “I’ll always be there with you, Jack. Whenever you feel alone you can call up any memory and I’ll be there with you.”
Jack wrapped his arms around the slender Time Lord’s waist, drawing him even closer, and kissed him deeply. “Tell me what to do.” The Doctor smiled seductively and kissed him back with equal passion.
“Use me. As your vessel.” They rolled as one until the Doctor lay under Jack. “No one has ever taken me this way, Jack. No one ever will again, except you. The Doctor bent his knees and opened himself to Jack. “Touch me to begin the K’Obec.”
Jack reached down and gently circled the tiny, tight opening with his thumb. The Doctor had never allowed Jack to touch him there. He’d figured it was just a quirk but now he became concerned. “Doctor-are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you and essentially you’re a virgin.”
“Don’t stop. Just-oh!” The Doctor’s head tilted back and he gasped with pleasure. “It’s begun.” Jack continued to thumb the unyielding band of muscle as it suddenly changed texture. It softened and widened, and became flexible under his touch. He hesitantly dipped one finger into the tender opening and was surprised to find it instantly lubricated. When he withdrew it a flow of thin liquid began and the scent of clover grass filled the room. He inserted his finger again, then two, stretching and circling, thrusting as more fluid began to flow and the opening softened further. Jack’s cock was throbbing, almost painfully hard. He moaned with need.
“It’s the culture medium for the Ir. Natural lubricant. It’s time.” The Doctor was now panting with desire. “Now Jack. Please.” He reached out and Jack sank into his embrace, suddenly overcome with emotion as he gazed upon the rare and wondrous being beneath him. He kissed his way up the Doctor’s throat before positioning himself at the Doctor’s entrance. He pushed gently against the soft ring, letting the lubricant flow down and around his thick cock. He backed off, pushed again and slowly eased himself forward until he was fully sheathed inside the Doctor’s velvety core.
They rocked together, finding their rhythm, and the Doctor reached down to stroke and pull at his own straining cock. As Jack’s thrusts became more insistent the Doctor responded in kind. His back arched, he wrapped his legs tightly around Jack’s waist and his moans became louder until he was crying out in pleasure. Jack felt heat building within the Doctor’s cool flesh and a ring of muscle suddenly clamped around his cock, squeezing and releasing. Another ring, and then another, squeezing and pulling him deeper and deeper until he was buried up to his balls within the Doctor. As he withdrew the rings reversed their pattern. He quickened his pace and the rings provided a counterpoint as he became lost in the sensation.
Beneath him the Doctor suddenly went rigid, then threw his head back and clutched wildly at Jack as waves of liquid fire coursed through him. He felt his balls expand and draw up until they were pressing into his abdominal cavity. Glands and organs shifted slightly as his ejaculatory mechanisms altered. As his orgasm began he could feel his body drawing Jack deeper and deeper within him and he cried out Jack’s name as if in benediction. Waves of almost unbearably intense pleasure coursed through him. His semen pulsed into his core, washing over Jack’s cock and mixing with the fluid that would foster the Ir.
Jack gasped as he felt the muscular rings tighten in unison around his cock, forcing him to penetrate more deeply than he thought possible. As the Doctor’s hot fluids began to wash over him the rings began to contract rhythmically sending him over the edge. He buried his face in the Doctor’s neck and keened as the power of his orgasm overwhelmed him. The rings continued to pump and squeeze his cock in an exquisite torture until he had spilled the last of his seed into the Ir culture swirling deep within the Doctor’s vessel.
They clung to each other as a searing flash of artron energy passed into the vessel and enabled the Ir, sending it coursing into Jack’s body and following his neural pathways until the small cluster of cells had implanted itself at the base of his brain. The rings retracted, releasing Jack’s softened cock. With a sigh he slipped wetly from the Doctor’s vessel and the opening constricted and closed once again. The Doctor sank back into the pillows, drained, as Jack rolled to the side and paused for a moment, panting, on his hands and knees.
He had just begun to crawl up to embrace the Doctor when the Ir cells finished dividing and the tiny nucleus activated. Strobe-like flashes of the Doctor’s past rushed into his brain and rapidly overwhelmed him. He faltered and began to tremble uncontrollably as thousands-millions-of memories flooded his senses. It was painful-excruciating-as his human brain struggled to adapt. Just as he opened his mouth to scream the Doctor reached his side and placed his fingertips on either side of his head. Within moments he was asleep.
He awoke in his Doctor’s arms, to the sound of his lover’s voice chanting softly next to his ear. He understood the words but the language seemed unfamiliar. He snuggled in closer and placed a soft kiss on the Doctor’s cheek.
“That’s nice! I like the bit about the sunsets, where’s it from?”
The Doctor carded his fingers through Jack’s hair and smiled. “Gallifrey. It’s Old High Gallifreyan, a love poem from before the Rassilon Era.”
“I don’t speak Gallifreyan!”
“You’ve got my memories, Jack. Every language I remember you will too. Every book I’ve read, everyone I’ve ever met. Unfortunate fashion trends…”
“Yeah, I saw some of those. More than a few, actually!”
“Oi! It was the seventies, give a guy a break!” The Doctor’s smile faded and his eyes clouded over. He cupped Jack’s cheek and rested his forehead against the Captain’s. “Thank you, Jack. You can’t know how much this means to me.”
“I thought this gift was for me-so I’ll always remember you.”
“It is. And you’ll not just remember me, but you will know me more intimately than anyone has ever known me before. There will be nothing hidden, no secrets. That’s how much I trust you. That’s how much I love you.” They shared a deep and lingering kiss and when they parted both of their eyes were shining with unshed tears.
“Billions of years from now, Jack, long after I’m gone, there will still be someone in the Universe telling tales of the Time Lords and the splendor of Gallifrey. My people will be remembered, not just in legends of the Time War. Even my companions, and the TARDIS, will live on in you. You could give me no greater gift.”
“Doctor. It’s my honour.” Jack leaned in for another kiss but flinched as a bolt of pain flashed behind his eyes before quickly dissipating. “Ow!”
“Your brain is still adjusting. That will fade, eventually, and then I’ll teach you how to access selective memories.”
“Yeah, there’s someone named Mel I’m not too anxious to see again. That Turlough, though-sweet!” The Captain laughed at the indignant expression on the Doctor’s face.
“Stop it!”
“Seriously, Doc-I need to ask you about something. It was so fast, I don’t know if I imagined it but…I thought I saw a memory of me dying. That can’t be true, can it?”
The Doctor gazed at the man he loved. His beautiful Jack, giving of himself throughout time until finally giving his last to save a world. He knew that the Captain’s greatest fear was to have the Universe die around him and be alone in the vast nothingness that remained. One more gift, then.
“It is true Jack. One day you will die.”
Tears of relief streamed down the time agent’s face. “I saw you, reflected in glass. This you, I mean. You’re with me at the end. I won’t die alone.” He swiped away the tears. “If you’re there… Is it soon? “
The Doctor chuckled softly. “Timey wimey, remember? No Jack. It’s far, far into the future.”
“But I saw me-well, the memory of you seeing me-and I looked the same. Actually, I looked great, I was glowing! I must have had some work done but still. Even I can’t stay gorgeous forever!” He gave the Doctor his patented Harkness smirk and earned another kiss for his efforts.
The Doctor held his Captain close and thought of the Face in the jar. “It’s my memory of the past but it’s filtered through my emotions in the present. It’s how I see you. You’re beautiful to me. You will always be beautiful to me, I could never see you any other way. I suppose any memory I have would be a reflection of how I feel about you.” He laughed out loud. “Reflections of love-that should be a song title!”
The Captain roared. “We could put on a musical! We’d be famous! Not sure about your dancing, though.”
The Doctor slid down the bed, pulling Jack along to lie on top of him. “Oh, I can dance. I’ve got moves you’ve never dreamed of! Here-let me show you!”
The Doctor’s laughter and the Captain’s low moans filled the room. A thousand centuries later, Jack would still remember.
-end