GigglingGigi: Dear Doctor,(Jack/Doctor, Ianto/Jack) [ pg-13]
Title: Dear Doctor
Author: GigglingGigi
Challenge: 2011 Doctor/Jack Bingo Fest
Prompt used: The go-between, preparing to let go, and yearning.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jack/Doctor, Ianto/Jack
Spoilers/warnings: Exit Wounds(Season two) and could be for COE(season three).
Summary: Ianto writes a letter.
The Prologue in the Letter 'verse.
9 July, 2009.
Dear Doctor,
There are some times I really do not like you; there are times when I know he is looking at me but he sees only you. He loves you. It's a large part of him. He has had so many lovers but no one has left a mark on him like you have. I wish I could say that I would be with him forever. But we both know that for Jack that is a very long time.
I look at him and see this man who is wonderful but also just a little bit broken. He came back to me just a little more so after he was off with you. Yet, he still lights up when he speaks your name. This tells me that I cannot afford to hate you. Because if I do, I won't be able to do what I have to do.
You will ask yourself what it is that I have to do: well, I have to tell Jack that it is okay that he wants you. I have to tell him that he needs you when I am gone. He does, he does need you and from what I can tell, Doctor, you need him as well. You need someone who gives a damn about you.
I HATE the idea of Jack alone. Of him having no one that will be there when he finally decides it's okay to let someone in his heart. He's figured out how to put all these bars around it; a wall of stone that he says he learned from someone. I believe that someone was you.
When he doesn't think anyone is watching, he looks up to the sky with such a yearning that it is heart-breaking. He misses being out there, doing what he was once doing with you. I think he left a part of himself out there with you. A part no-one will get to know until he finds it again.
He wants you even when he has so much here and that just hurts. But I've hurt him myself as well. I don't know why you haven't come, or why he keeps calling you when you haven't picked up once. But we needed you, we needed you to be here. To help. I am not sure if we still need you, because Jack has a plan. I do not know how many of us will make it out of this. That's why I am writing this. Because someone has to tell you about the man who loves you.
I don't know if you love Jack, if you care about him, but I am almost ready to beg you to try. Just try to look at him and see how he looks at you. Try to feel what he's not telling you. Jack is the kind of person whose eyes speak more than his words. He'll tell stories that are meaningless but with one look he can tell you how he feels.
The 456 are going to leave him yet a little more broken. And if I am not here to help in putting him back together, I have to hope that you will be. I have to hope that you will get your head out of your arse and come to him. He won't tell you he needs you. More than likely he will try to walk away.
Don't let him go.
Don't let him tell you that he doesn't need you. Don't let him brood and face the pain by himself. I do not believe that my death will be the thing to hurt him most, but all of this, all of this at once will be. When we lost Tosh and Owen he drank his pain, pushing it down so far that it only spilled out in his dreams. He cries sometimes in his sleep. It's painful to watch.
But there are good nights, nights when he smiles. Oddly enough I think he's dreaming of you, even if I wish with my whole heart that he were dreaming of me. Doctor, I know this is not mine to ask of you -- but if I do not, who will?
I do not know when this letter will find you, but I do know that time means nothing, that you will get it. I was told that it will happen, it doesn't matter by who, and I can only hope that when you do, you'll read it and come find Jack.
Or maybe just fucking call? Reach out to him. Please.
Remember YOU might not be human, with human feelings or the need to love someone, but Jack IS, and he has chosen you for all that's fucking worth.
Please, Doctor. Take care of him.
-I. Jones
Part 1 & 2 http://wintercompanion.livejournal.com/145811.html#cutid1
Author: GigglingGigi
Challenge: 2011 Doctor/Jack Bingo Fest
Prompt used: The go-between, preparing to let go, and yearning.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jack/Doctor, Ianto/Jack
Spoilers/warnings: Exit Wounds(Season two) and could be for COE(season three).
Summary: Ianto writes a letter.
The Prologue in the Letter 'verse.
9 July, 2009.
Dear Doctor,
There are some times I really do not like you; there are times when I know he is looking at me but he sees only you. He loves you. It's a large part of him. He has had so many lovers but no one has left a mark on him like you have. I wish I could say that I would be with him forever. But we both know that for Jack that is a very long time.
I look at him and see this man who is wonderful but also just a little bit broken. He came back to me just a little more so after he was off with you. Yet, he still lights up when he speaks your name. This tells me that I cannot afford to hate you. Because if I do, I won't be able to do what I have to do.
You will ask yourself what it is that I have to do: well, I have to tell Jack that it is okay that he wants you. I have to tell him that he needs you when I am gone. He does, he does need you and from what I can tell, Doctor, you need him as well. You need someone who gives a damn about you.
I HATE the idea of Jack alone. Of him having no one that will be there when he finally decides it's okay to let someone in his heart. He's figured out how to put all these bars around it; a wall of stone that he says he learned from someone. I believe that someone was you.
When he doesn't think anyone is watching, he looks up to the sky with such a yearning that it is heart-breaking. He misses being out there, doing what he was once doing with you. I think he left a part of himself out there with you. A part no-one will get to know until he finds it again.
He wants you even when he has so much here and that just hurts. But I've hurt him myself as well. I don't know why you haven't come, or why he keeps calling you when you haven't picked up once. But we needed you, we needed you to be here. To help. I am not sure if we still need you, because Jack has a plan. I do not know how many of us will make it out of this. That's why I am writing this. Because someone has to tell you about the man who loves you.
I don't know if you love Jack, if you care about him, but I am almost ready to beg you to try. Just try to look at him and see how he looks at you. Try to feel what he's not telling you. Jack is the kind of person whose eyes speak more than his words. He'll tell stories that are meaningless but with one look he can tell you how he feels.
The 456 are going to leave him yet a little more broken. And if I am not here to help in putting him back together, I have to hope that you will be. I have to hope that you will get your head out of your arse and come to him. He won't tell you he needs you. More than likely he will try to walk away.
Don't let him go.
Don't let him tell you that he doesn't need you. Don't let him brood and face the pain by himself. I do not believe that my death will be the thing to hurt him most, but all of this, all of this at once will be. When we lost Tosh and Owen he drank his pain, pushing it down so far that it only spilled out in his dreams. He cries sometimes in his sleep. It's painful to watch.
But there are good nights, nights when he smiles. Oddly enough I think he's dreaming of you, even if I wish with my whole heart that he were dreaming of me. Doctor, I know this is not mine to ask of you -- but if I do not, who will?
I do not know when this letter will find you, but I do know that time means nothing, that you will get it. I was told that it will happen, it doesn't matter by who, and I can only hope that when you do, you'll read it and come find Jack.
Or maybe just fucking call? Reach out to him. Please.
Remember YOU might not be human, with human feelings or the need to love someone, but Jack IS, and he has chosen you for all that's fucking worth.
Please, Doctor. Take care of him.
-I. Jones
Part 1 & 2 http://wintercompanion.livejournal.com/145811.html#cutid1