(no subject)
When I was in Grade School, we had to pick 3 Careers that we wanted. I picked a Vet and a Manager of a Rock Band, I couldn't think of another Career I wanted. Back in the day, girls were suppose to be Secrataries, we didn't have much choice, but my Sister broke out and became what she wanted to be, she succeeded. She has a lot of ambition, she has mine and hers,I have some. I hated being a Secratary. What I wanted was to work in the Music Industry, still do, but back then as I mentioned was impossible. Before Elvis, Chuck Berry there was no Rock Bands, and 10 years before them was Frank and Dean. I remember I went to something with my Parents, there was a Rock Band and their Manager, I asked the Manager some questions, but she didn't really give me the answers I wanted.
I also wanted to be a Marine Biologist,but that intailed tons of Math and I suck at Math. Mom commented once that I should except who I am and my short commings, I tried. I had 2 Parents that graduated from Stanford and a Sister who didn't graduate from Stanford, but did graduate from College. They have never failed at anything. Granted they worked their butts off, so have I, but I have failed. I know if I didn't try at whatever it was, how did I know if I could have done it if I didn't try? I know I'm different from most people, I didn't like it when I was younger, now I like it. I'm unique, I like who I am, but I don't like my life.
I'm retired and should be having a great time traveling, but I can't, because I have really bad arthridus in my knee. I can't have a knee replacement because I have lymphodema. I could but if I get an infection it could kill me. Not the infection, I could lose my knee, I rather be dead than to lose my knee
I believe in reincarnation, I must of done something really horrible in my past lives because I'm paying for it now.
I feel like I've wasted my life, I have done nothing with it. If it weren't for my Parents and Sister I would probably be on welfare or living on the streets. I know my Parents loved me, but I don't think they understood me. Once when I moved out I came home to do my laundry. Mom was raggin on me for something, I had enough. I asked her if she liked me? Her answer was of course, then why are you trying to change me? I repeated what she said. I said that, yes, she didn't say anything after that. I even asked if I was adopted, because I'm nothing like them nor do I look like them, Barbie looks like Dad. They never said it, but I think they wanted me to be more like Barbie. I tried being what they wanted me to be. That's not who I am, I'm me.
If I could I would start all over again and make something of myself. I do like most of me, but I would change being lazy and not having little ambition.
School bored me to death. I have an attention span of a flea, if I liked what I was doing, then I would do it forever, if not, then I would lose interest. If I could I woukld have dropped out of kindegarden. Treachers and School humiliated me. I know I'm smart but not as smart as others. I wish I didn't waste my life away
I also wanted to be a Marine Biologist,but that intailed tons of Math and I suck at Math. Mom commented once that I should except who I am and my short commings, I tried. I had 2 Parents that graduated from Stanford and a Sister who didn't graduate from Stanford, but did graduate from College. They have never failed at anything. Granted they worked their butts off, so have I, but I have failed. I know if I didn't try at whatever it was, how did I know if I could have done it if I didn't try? I know I'm different from most people, I didn't like it when I was younger, now I like it. I'm unique, I like who I am, but I don't like my life.
I'm retired and should be having a great time traveling, but I can't, because I have really bad arthridus in my knee. I can't have a knee replacement because I have lymphodema. I could but if I get an infection it could kill me. Not the infection, I could lose my knee, I rather be dead than to lose my knee
I believe in reincarnation, I must of done something really horrible in my past lives because I'm paying for it now.
I feel like I've wasted my life, I have done nothing with it. If it weren't for my Parents and Sister I would probably be on welfare or living on the streets. I know my Parents loved me, but I don't think they understood me. Once when I moved out I came home to do my laundry. Mom was raggin on me for something, I had enough. I asked her if she liked me? Her answer was of course, then why are you trying to change me? I repeated what she said. I said that, yes, she didn't say anything after that. I even asked if I was adopted, because I'm nothing like them nor do I look like them, Barbie looks like Dad. They never said it, but I think they wanted me to be more like Barbie. I tried being what they wanted me to be. That's not who I am, I'm me.
If I could I would start all over again and make something of myself. I do like most of me, but I would change being lazy and not having little ambition.
School bored me to death. I have an attention span of a flea, if I liked what I was doing, then I would do it forever, if not, then I would lose interest. If I could I woukld have dropped out of kindegarden. Treachers and School humiliated me. I know I'm smart but not as smart as others. I wish I didn't waste my life away