Well I think I should post something...
I think I should post something because this community needs more love.
So.
sometimes you watch him as he sleeps.
you can taste the dawn as it bruises the sky and everything’s all grey and misty because he insists on leaving the window open. when you squint you can see the hands of the clock as they whirl and tick and everything’s so fast and so slow. well the clock says six a.m. and you say, shit i didn’t sleep at all.
the seconds tick by too loudly and you watch him. (the lines of his face and those shadows which are soft like bruises, the shadows that are at the corners of his mouth and his eyes. his mouth is set in a lazy smile but how can he smile?)
and your mind goes in the anxious circles of not-quite sleep, unguarded, feverish, so you lie at the very edge of your bed and you think well finny i’m sorry and finny i love you and finny i need you and finny i want to kiss you and finny i¾
(he looks younger when he sleeps, you think, young and bruised and soft.)
finny i¾
and sometimes you wake from your feverish trance into the blue light and your heart pounds and pounds and pounds as you think of slipping off the edge of your bed and going to him and
brushing your lips against his and
well finny i’m sorry and
well finny i didn’t mean to hurt you and
(and?)
and you sweat and you shiver and the clock says half past six and you say, shit i didn’t sleep at all.
and why does he insist on leaving the window open, it’s winter for chrissake, except the dawn is misty like summer (your gypsy summer).
in his sleep he breathes and his hair lies thick and tangled over his pillow and there’s a smile on his lips as he drinks in the cold.
your sheets are so icy and your pajamas (your unmilitary pajamas) are like winter on your skin but
what if what if what if
you pressed up against him?
and trembled against him and sweated against him
(well finny i’m sorry) and
he lies there sleeping, finny
(your finny)
--
Er, be warned, it was late and it's very much a... stream of consciousness? XD I'm sorry if it's a little reminiscent of the other fics in this fandom in any way, one can't stop the stream of one's consciousness, CAN ONE? I think maybe my style wishes it was
sound_of_bells' ( http://community.livejournal.com/winter_carnival/10541.html#cutid1) and neurotic Gene is stolen a little from
addicted2ewan's Touch ( http://community.livejournal.com/winter_carnival/6069.html#cutid1) and
weartheseshortsreminded me of the unmilitary pajamas.
Random question: Do you guys think Gene and Finny were actually in a relationship, or just in love, or do you just 'ship them for fun, or do you not 'ship them, or what? It didn't seem to me like they were actually in a sexual relationship... I felt like they were just in love, but didn't act on it, except don't you think if Finny wanted something (something being Gene) he'd get it? What do you guys think? Always fun to ponder. XD More fun than analyzing the symbolism and all that silly English stuff.