(no subject)
Workshop went really well. Obviously I'm happy about that.
But that was literally the most stressed out I have ever been about a class or presentation. Even my honors thesis presentation didn't make me that anxious, and those of you who were there may remember that the lack of sleep had made me crazy.
With other classes I just feel like if I spend enough time on a paper, I'll do well. I don't always do that but if a class made me that nervous I would have a specific way to deal with it. But GEEEEEZ workshop just makes me neurotic. It makes me insecure in multiple ways: 1) It's my work, so I feel vulnerable and protective 2) Theoretically, I should be worrying about Claudia's approval because she can help me along blah blah po-wank 3) I want my peers to respect my work and 4) doing creative work has become part of my identity and I moved to uggy Las Vegas to do it. So I don't want it to SUCK.
So it was cool that this time I got into a manic productive state and pulled of a minisequence and it felt wonderful when everyone liked them. And since I have no discipline, I do function best under pressure.
But seriously that was a GHASTLY 24 hour period. I felt awful. I think I got a C on a an intro to Greek test. Seriously.
But that was literally the most stressed out I have ever been about a class or presentation. Even my honors thesis presentation didn't make me that anxious, and those of you who were there may remember that the lack of sleep had made me crazy.
With other classes I just feel like if I spend enough time on a paper, I'll do well. I don't always do that but if a class made me that nervous I would have a specific way to deal with it. But GEEEEEZ workshop just makes me neurotic. It makes me insecure in multiple ways: 1) It's my work, so I feel vulnerable and protective 2) Theoretically, I should be worrying about Claudia's approval because she can help me along blah blah po-wank 3) I want my peers to respect my work and 4) doing creative work has become part of my identity and I moved to uggy Las Vegas to do it. So I don't want it to SUCK.
So it was cool that this time I got into a manic productive state and pulled of a minisequence and it felt wonderful when everyone liked them. And since I have no discipline, I do function best under pressure.
But seriously that was a GHASTLY 24 hour period. I felt awful. I think I got a C on a an intro to Greek test. Seriously.