We Build Then We Break - Chapter 4
Title: We Build Then we Break
Chapter: 4/5
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Will/Finn
Summary: Alternate time line. Remember, in the Pilot, when Will decided to leave McKinley to become an accountant because his wife was pregnant? He really did that. Now it's five years later, and he's still an accountant. Finn dropped out of high school to help Quinn raise her baby, and he's a janitor in Will's office building.
Notes: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this. After this chapter, all that's left is the epilogue. Whooooo!
Chapter 1 - When the Night Falls On You
Chapter 2 - Come On and Talk To Me Now
Chapter 3 - Let Me See You Through
For the next several days, all Finn could think about was the kiss.
Finn thought about it a lot, when he was doing the mindless work that his job entailed - how much Will had changed his life, and how incredibly unexpected it was. Before, it had seemed like this incredible struggle just to survive, but now life was... different. Fun. He'd taken a picture with his cell phone of Will teaching Izzie to play the guitar and made it his phone's background. It wasn't a very good picture - you know, cell phone picture quality and all - but there was no mistaking the look of complete love and adoration on Will's face, or how completely enthralled Izzie looked.
But Will. It was so nice, so relieving, to have someone to talk to. With Will around, the world seemed to get brighter, the air easier to breathe. Everything wasn't so hard all the time, because he had someone there for him, watching his back. And he would do absolutely anything for Will in return, well, anything he could do. He didn't have much to offer, really, but Will seemed to think he had everything.
And the kiss... well. He was scared, that was the problem. He wasn't ready for it. For all the stuff they talked about, that was one topic they tended to stay away from - their feelings for each other. Which seemed to sneak up on them, or at least on Finn. First it was all about this really great friendship they had, and then he just wanted... he wasn't sure what he wanted. He thought he might like to live in the same house with Will and raise Izzie together and cook Will dinner. But what about the other stuff?
The answer to that came during the night, in the dreams Finn had, that left him hard and aching when he woke up. All he had to do was close his eyes and think about Will naked underneath him, moaning his name, and Finn knew what he wanted.
He shouldn't have pushed Will away. After the kiss, they didn't talk. Will didn't come to Pizza Place for lunch, and Finn didn't come to his office when he began his janitorial shift for the night. On Saturday, the day Will usually came over to teach Izzie guitar, he didn't. This didn't surprise Finn, not really.
"Where's Willy?" Izzie finally asked. "Why isn't he coming?" She peered out the window as if she might see him suddenly, walking up the path.
"He's not coming today," Finn replied. "Why don't we play with your Legos instead?"
"Why isn't he coming? He always comes on Saturdays. He was gonna teach me 'Here Comes the Sun.' Is he mad at me?"
"No, he's not mad at you."
"Are you mad at him?"
"I... no. No, of course not."
"Then call him up."
"I... I can't."
Izzie frowned. "Okay. Then I will."
"No, you can't."
Izzie sighed. "Daddy, you said we should always do what makes us happy. Playing with Willy makes me happy. Makes you happy too."
Finn looked at his daughter carefully. "Hey sweetie... what would you say if Will was a member of our family? Would you like that?"
"Like if he lived with us, you mean?"
Finn nodded.
Izzie beamed. "That'd be so much fun! Then we could play together all the time, and he'd read me stories, and then you'd smile all the time because he'd be there, and it'd be so great!"
Finn kissed his daughter on the forehead. He wanted to make her happy, he wanted to make himself happy, and he didn't know why it had to be so difficult. He was such an idiot.
--
Finn spent the rest of the weekend trying to distract himself by playing with Izzie, but she continuously asked about Will. Though he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to call him. He didn't know what he'd say, because he knew he'd been an idiot. If he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have pushed Will away. He would have pulled him closer, kissed back, anything to keep Will as part of his life. Because not having Will... sucked. And as weird as it was, Will being a guy and all, there was something really... nice... about the way Will fit in his arms.
It was Monday, and Will didn't come to Pizza Place for lunch. Finn wasn't surprised. He knew that at some point, he'd have to talk to him, but wasn't sure how to do it. After all, what if the kiss had just been a spur of the moment thing? What if Will wanted to take it back?
It was late, and that wasn't the point. He was working, and trying to focus on not messing up or forgetting anything, but all he could think about was Will. He knew that Will was in this office building right now, because he'd seen his car outside. Would Will even want to talk to him? Possibly not. It was clear that Will wasn't going to come to approach him, probably still thinking that Finn was mad at him. But Finn wasn't mad, he'd never been mad. Confused, maybe...
Walking down the hall, he reached over to shut a door that was open, and then paused. It was the door to the roof. Realization slowly dawned on him. "No," he murmured. "No. Oh, no no no no." He dropped his broom and sprinted up the steps onto the roof. He looked towards the edge frantically, expecting to see Will standing at the edge... but no one was there. "Fuck. No no no no." He ran over to the edge of the roof and looked down. Had Will already jumped? He squinted. He didn't see any dead bodies. He ran to the other side of the roof.
"Hey, man, you okay?"
Finn stopped and stared at the man smoking a cigarette - his fellow janitor, Jake. "Wha- what are you doing here?"
"Smoking a cigarette," said Jake, looking at Finn as though he was crazy. "Uh. Where's the fire?"
"Has anyone else been up here?" Finn asked, wanting to grab Jake and shake the answers out of him.
Jake shook his head. "Just me. Didn't feel like going all the way outside, you know? I unlocked the door."
Finn nodded. "Okay... okay. Okay, good."
"You okay, buddy? You're white as a ghost."
"Fine," Finn replied, running back down the steps.
Well, fuck. He'd been sure that Will was out there, that Will was so upset by Finn's rejection that he'd gone to kill himself. Well, not just Finn's rejection. Will had been rejected by Finn, cheated on by his wife... fuck. He realized, suddenly, that he was walking towards Will's office. He told himself that he just wanted to make sure Will was alright, just confirm that his friend was sitting at his desk. Then everything would be fine... he'd stop hyperventilating... he'd be able to think again.
He was running. He was running down the row of cubicles to Will's. Will came out into the makeshift hallway, looking around. "Finn," he said, surprised. "Is everything okay? I heard noise..."
Finn stared at him for a moment. Will was standing there, his body whole and unbroken. He had bags under his eyes like he hadn't been sleeping, his posture was slouched, his skin was pallid - it was clear that Will hadn't been doing well. Probably hadn't been getting any sleep. Finn reached out to touch his cheek, just to confirm that Will was solid and there, but stopped when he noticed how badly his hand was shaking.
"Finn, Finn, are you okay?" Will asked, waving his hand in front of Finn's face. "Say something. You look like you've seen a ghost." He looked like he wanted to hug Finn, but stood awkwardly instead. "C'mon, say something."
"Door to the roof was open," Finn finally muttered. "Thought you..."
"Oh," Will whispered.
"Yeah..."
"Well, I didn't. I'm fine. See?" He spread his arms out. "Nothing to worry about."
Finn nodded. He stared at Will for another moment, and then grabbed him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry," he murmured into Will's shoulder. "Fuck, I'm sorry."
Will tried to get away at first, but quickly relaxed in Finn's arms and hugged him back. "You didn't do anything wrong," Will replied. "Nothing to be sorry for."
Finn pulled away and looked at him. "I pushed you away. I shouldn't have--"
"No, I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place, Finn, I--"
Finn shook his head. "I was scared. And surprised. And stupid. I wanted it too, I think, I just didn't realize it. It was all so sudden..."
Will gave him a small smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes, and Finn knew enough of Will's real smiles to quickly identify it as fake. "I know. I wasn't thinking. Anyway, I have a little bit more work to get done, so why don't we discuss this later, okay?"
Finn grabbed his arm. "Fuck, Will, don't lie to me."
Will looked scared for a moment, and Finn realized how tightly he was gripping Will's arm. He loosened his hold a little. "Sorry... what I mean is... could we try it again, maybe?"
"You mean...?"
"Yeah."
Will looked scared. Terrified, and completely vulnerable... and beautiful. Finn, very gently, cupped his face in his hands and kissed him.
It began like last time, except that this time, Finn didn't pull away. He let himself savor it. To his immense relief, Will kissed back.
When they pulled apart, Will watched him, guardedly, as if was bracing himself for Finn to run away again. Finn squeezed his hand reassuringly. "That was... that was good."
"...Are you sure?"
"Fuck, Will... yes. Yes I'm sure. I was such an idiot for running away, for hurting you..." He kissed Will again, as if in a short amount of time, he'd lose his opportunity. "I want this. I want this with you."
"What do you want? Because I'm not sure we want the same things."
"I want you in my life, all the time. I want you to help me raise Izzie. I want to wake up with you. I don't know... Will, I want everything."
Will held Finn's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks gently. "Finn... here's the thing that scares me - I love you. And I need to know, right now, if you feel the same way... or if you could, eventually. It's okay to say no."
"Love you," Finn breathed, pressing his forehead against Will's. "I do." He smiled, as he realized the truth in his words. "I really, really do. Will, I love you."
Will grinned, and the simple act filled Finn with relief. He'd been waiting to see that smile again, and he knew that it was reflected on his own face. "Thank goodness," Will replied, and then the two of them were kissing again. It was less hesitant this time, and Finn ended up sitting in Will's desk chair with Will in his lap. Eventually they pulled apart, and Will rested his head in the crook of Finn's shoulder, as Finn held him tightly.
"This," Finn said, squeezing him slightly. "This is good. This feels right, you know?"
Will kissed his chin. "Yeah, I know." He glanced at the clock on his desk. "You should be going home soon, shouldn't you?"
"I guess so. I just don't want to leave you..." His voice trailed off as a thought occurred to him. "Will, where have you been staying?"
He could feel Will stiffen in his arms and begin to move away, and he made a mental note to regain Will's trust so that kind of thing wouldn't happen. He held Will tighter and kissed his temple, and Will sagged against him and sighed. "Here... and my car. It's not permanent, obviously, and I tried the Paradise Motel but it was terrible and..."
"Oh, Will," Finn breathed, running a hand through his hair. "That sucks. I'm so sorry."
Will shook his head and finally stood up. "Don't pity me, okay? It's only temporary, until I find a new apartment."
Finn nodded. "Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"
"I can't. Quinn--"
"We have a couch. Please? Just... just let me take care of you a little? I know Izzie will be really happy to see you..."
Will smiled softly. "You just had to bring her into it, didn't you? You know I can't say no to her."
Finn beamed. "And that's why I love you. Well, one of the reasons." He kissed Will quickly and nodded. "Okay, I need to go put my stuff away... give me ten minutes, yeah?"
"Yeah, okay," Will replied, reaching for his duffel bag.
Finn jogged back to where his janitorial supplies had been abandoned. He was struck, suddenly, by the silliness of his actions. Why was he jogging? But no, he knew why. He didn't want to be away from Will longer than he had to be. He wasn't confident quite yet that when he returned, Will would still be there.
Will was still there. He'd shut off his computer, and was leaning back in his desk chair, his eyes closed. Finn took a moment to study him. He was beautiful, absolutely, and there were so many things Finn wanted to do to that body... he wanted to learn what every inch of it tasted like, felt like under his fingers. He wanted to mark it and claim it as his own. Will's eyes fluttered opened and he smiled up at Finn. "I'm ready to go," he said, simply, standing.
They kissed. Finn initiated it, but Will responded happily. Finn was relieved to find that all of the weirdness from their very first kiss was now gone. "Okay," Finn finally said, wrapping his arm around Will's waist. "Let's go."
"Someone might see us," Will said, glancing at Finn's arm. "Another janitor, maybe."
Finn sighed. "Yeah... I guess so." He took Will's hand instead, and Will kissed Finn's larger, rougher hand.
That made Finn pull Will in for another kiss, which left Will laughing, saying, "C'mon, stop getting distracted."
Finn grinned at him, and they somehow managed to exit the office building without stopping too many times. "If this goes well, we should consider something more permanent," Finn said, getting into Will's car. "When you get out of the parking garage, turn right."
"I know where you live," Will said, pulling out of his parking space. "And, what do you mean by something more permanent?"
"Like you moving in."
Will smiled and shook his head. "You keep forgetting about Quinn."
"No I don't. I need to talk to her anyway. Even without you, things need to change... we need to figure out a way that everyone can stop being so miserable. I don't want Izzie growing up like that."
Will nodded. "You really want me living with you, though?"
"Absolutely," Finn replied, so quickly that he clearly didn't even need to think about it. Will smiled and turned onto Finn's street.
"I can carry my own bag," Will said, as Finn picked up his back.
"Yeah, yeah," Finn replied, ignoring the comment. "Alright, Izzie should already be asleep. I'll get you a sheet and blankets and pillows and stuff, and I need to talk to Quinn. Are you hungry? Help yourself to anything."
They were about to go inside the house when Will touched Finn's arm. Finn turned to look at him, curiously. "Thank you for this," Will said, softly, hugging Finn. "This really means a lot to me."
Finn kissed the top of Will's head. "Thank you for letting me," he whispered in reply, and then opened the door. He made his way through the house, to the bedroom that he shared with Quinn. Quinn was sitting on it, reading a book. She looked up when Finn entered. "Hey," he said, raising a hand in greeting.
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "I hear footsteps in the living room."
"Yeah... that's Will. I'm letting him stay here tonight."
Quinn sighed and closed her book. "Why?"
"His wife has been cheating on him."
She nodded. "How long is he staying?"
"However long he needs to."
Quinn looked at Finn carefully. "Is this because you're helping out a friend and feel bad for him... or because you're in love with him?"
"What-- why--"
Quinn rolled her eyes and picked up her book again. "Yeah, I thought so. It's obvious, Finn."
"Why... how is it obvious?"
"Well, I'm not an idiot. He enters your life and you're happier than I've ever seen you. You guys get in some stupid fight, and you mope around like..." She waved her hand around, trying to find the right word, and then shrugged. "It was pathetic. Oh, and you kept muttering his name in your sleep. 'Will, I'm sorry.' 'Will, I love you.'"
"I did? Wait, aren't you upset?"
Quinn shrugged a shoulder. "We're not married. We're not even in love. There's no need for both of us to be miserable. Besides, he's a good parental figure for Izzie, and he seems like a decent guy. But if you want his moving in to be permanent, we'll need a bigger house. I'm not sleeping on the couch."
Finn blinked at her. "I didn't expect this to be so... calm."
Quinn shrugged. "I already ruined your life once by making you drop out of high school to raise this child--"
"--who isn't mine. Yeah, I know. She's Puck's, right? She looks just like him."
"Yeah, but you're her daddy."
"So it's like, in return for my being a good Daddy, I can be happy too?"
"Yeah, something like that. But as I said, bigger house. Figure out a way for that to happen, preferably in any town that isn't Lima, and I'm fine with it. I'm not leaving, though. I'm helping raise my daughter. Will can help, but I'm the Mommy."
Finn kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you, Quinn."
She smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Go give your boyfriend a blanket or something, he must be freezing."
Finn found the softest, warmest blanket, and a pillow that still had most of its stuffing. Frowning, he also grabbed his favorite pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. He didn't know what kind of night clothes Will had, but he'd be damned if Will wasn't as comfortable as possible.
Will was curled up on the couch, still wearing his clothing from the day. He seemed to have collapsed from exhaustion as soon as he'd found the couch. Finn knelt next to him and kissed his forehead. "Hey," he whispered, draping the blanket over Will.
Will's eyes opened and he smiled. "Hey," he murmured. "Sorry... tired."
Finn touched Will's cheek gently, trailing his finger over the stubble that was there. "I have sweatpants and a t shirt for you, if you want them."
"'Kay."
Finn watched Will change, shamelessly. He was surprised at the reasonably well defined muscles on Will's chest, and desperately wanted to reach out and touch them. The next moment, though, Will was wearing Finn's old McKinley High School football shirt, and Finn liked that sight almost as much - Will wearing his clothes. He fluffed the pillow and placed it on one side of the couch, and then tucked the blanket around Will once he lay back down. "Comfy?" he asked, kissing Will chastely.
Will nodded. "Way better than my car. Is Quinn okay with this?"
"She's okay with everything. She says that because I'm a good Dad we can all move out of Lima together, into a bigger house."
Will's brow furrowed. "She knows about us?"
"Yeah. Apparently I have the same ability to hide my feelings as a puppy."
Will laughed. "Ask her how she feels about north New Jersey."
"Why?"
"I... might have already applied for a job there."
"You-- you did?"
Will nodded. "A few days ago. I didn't know what to do, and I thought that leaving Lima might fix everything."
"You were just... going to leave?" Finn bit his lip, unable to imagine that actually happening.
Will squeezed his hand. "I wouldn't have just left without saying goodbye. I haven't even gotten the job yet. It was just... if things didn't work out with us, I'd be able to escape. I wouldn't have been able to stay in Lima... it would hurt too much. It... still does."
Finn hugged Will's arm. "Yeah, I get that. Lima is where dreams go to die. When do you hear back about the job?"
"By the end of the week."
"And you'd be willing to take me and Izzie and Quinn with you? And be a family with us?"
"Would I finally like to have a real chance to be happy, you mean?" He looked Finn in the eyes for a long moment, and then kissed him. "Absolutely."
--
"Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! Wake up!"
"Wha--? What is it?"
"Daddy," Izzie said, pulling on Finn's sleeve. "It's Willy. He's on our couch."
"Mmm... did you wake him up?"
"No... but I will! Does this mean you're friends again? Does it? Please say it does, I don't want Willy to go away again."
Finn pulled his daughter up into his lap. "Yes, we're friends again. In fact, Will's going to be staying with us a little while, if it's okay with you."
Izzie frowned and shook her head.
"You don't want him to stay with us?"
"Not for a little while. That's not very long. Willy should stay with us all the time, Daddy. I don't want him to leave."
Finn grinned and picked up his daughter, carrying her into the living room next to the couch Will was lying on. Will was just waking up, getting his face licked by Woofie. He smiled at them. "Good morning," he said, sleepily. "Hi, Izzie."
"Willy!" Izzie said, jumping on top of him in a full bodied hug. "Can you stay with us all the time? I don't want you here for a little while, I want you here for an always while."
Will smiled at her, his eyes sparkling. "Are you sure about that?"
"Well, only if you read me stories. You do voices better than Daddy, sorry Daddy. And only if you teach me 'Here Comes the Sun' because you said you would and you shouldn't break promises."
"I can do that."
"I know that lots of kids have a Mommy and a Daddy like I do, but their Mommies and Daddies are married, and mine aren't. They're only together because they love me. So I think I want to have a Mommy and a Daddy and a Willy. And Daddy and Willy can love each other, and they can love me and so will Mommy, and it'll be really great."
Will blinked at her. "Wow... you. Okay."
"I mean, you and Daddy love each other, right? I think you do. When you see each other you smile really big and get really happy and stuff and that means love."
Will looked at Finn intently, who smiled back. "Yeah," Finn said, kissing Will tenderly. "We do."
==
And so, all we have left is the Epilogue... and that's actually the only part I haven't finished. Seriously, you have no idea how hard I've worked on this story. I have about 4,000 words of deleted scenes, all with different ways this story almost went. Same with the Epilogue. I mean, I know what happens to them, I'm just not sure how to tell it. But yeah, it'll be up within the week. Until then...
All chapters of this story, once posted, will be be found HERE
The rest of my fic can be found HERE
Chapter: 4/5
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Will/Finn
Summary: Alternate time line. Remember, in the Pilot, when Will decided to leave McKinley to become an accountant because his wife was pregnant? He really did that. Now it's five years later, and he's still an accountant. Finn dropped out of high school to help Quinn raise her baby, and he's a janitor in Will's office building.
Notes: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this. After this chapter, all that's left is the epilogue. Whooooo!
Chapter 1 - When the Night Falls On You
Chapter 2 - Come On and Talk To Me Now
Chapter 3 - Let Me See You Through
For the next several days, all Finn could think about was the kiss.
Finn thought about it a lot, when he was doing the mindless work that his job entailed - how much Will had changed his life, and how incredibly unexpected it was. Before, it had seemed like this incredible struggle just to survive, but now life was... different. Fun. He'd taken a picture with his cell phone of Will teaching Izzie to play the guitar and made it his phone's background. It wasn't a very good picture - you know, cell phone picture quality and all - but there was no mistaking the look of complete love and adoration on Will's face, or how completely enthralled Izzie looked.
But Will. It was so nice, so relieving, to have someone to talk to. With Will around, the world seemed to get brighter, the air easier to breathe. Everything wasn't so hard all the time, because he had someone there for him, watching his back. And he would do absolutely anything for Will in return, well, anything he could do. He didn't have much to offer, really, but Will seemed to think he had everything.
And the kiss... well. He was scared, that was the problem. He wasn't ready for it. For all the stuff they talked about, that was one topic they tended to stay away from - their feelings for each other. Which seemed to sneak up on them, or at least on Finn. First it was all about this really great friendship they had, and then he just wanted... he wasn't sure what he wanted. He thought he might like to live in the same house with Will and raise Izzie together and cook Will dinner. But what about the other stuff?
The answer to that came during the night, in the dreams Finn had, that left him hard and aching when he woke up. All he had to do was close his eyes and think about Will naked underneath him, moaning his name, and Finn knew what he wanted.
He shouldn't have pushed Will away. After the kiss, they didn't talk. Will didn't come to Pizza Place for lunch, and Finn didn't come to his office when he began his janitorial shift for the night. On Saturday, the day Will usually came over to teach Izzie guitar, he didn't. This didn't surprise Finn, not really.
"Where's Willy?" Izzie finally asked. "Why isn't he coming?" She peered out the window as if she might see him suddenly, walking up the path.
"He's not coming today," Finn replied. "Why don't we play with your Legos instead?"
"Why isn't he coming? He always comes on Saturdays. He was gonna teach me 'Here Comes the Sun.' Is he mad at me?"
"No, he's not mad at you."
"Are you mad at him?"
"I... no. No, of course not."
"Then call him up."
"I... I can't."
Izzie frowned. "Okay. Then I will."
"No, you can't."
Izzie sighed. "Daddy, you said we should always do what makes us happy. Playing with Willy makes me happy. Makes you happy too."
Finn looked at his daughter carefully. "Hey sweetie... what would you say if Will was a member of our family? Would you like that?"
"Like if he lived with us, you mean?"
Finn nodded.
Izzie beamed. "That'd be so much fun! Then we could play together all the time, and he'd read me stories, and then you'd smile all the time because he'd be there, and it'd be so great!"
Finn kissed his daughter on the forehead. He wanted to make her happy, he wanted to make himself happy, and he didn't know why it had to be so difficult. He was such an idiot.
--
Finn spent the rest of the weekend trying to distract himself by playing with Izzie, but she continuously asked about Will. Though he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to call him. He didn't know what he'd say, because he knew he'd been an idiot. If he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have pushed Will away. He would have pulled him closer, kissed back, anything to keep Will as part of his life. Because not having Will... sucked. And as weird as it was, Will being a guy and all, there was something really... nice... about the way Will fit in his arms.
It was Monday, and Will didn't come to Pizza Place for lunch. Finn wasn't surprised. He knew that at some point, he'd have to talk to him, but wasn't sure how to do it. After all, what if the kiss had just been a spur of the moment thing? What if Will wanted to take it back?
It was late, and that wasn't the point. He was working, and trying to focus on not messing up or forgetting anything, but all he could think about was Will. He knew that Will was in this office building right now, because he'd seen his car outside. Would Will even want to talk to him? Possibly not. It was clear that Will wasn't going to come to approach him, probably still thinking that Finn was mad at him. But Finn wasn't mad, he'd never been mad. Confused, maybe...
Walking down the hall, he reached over to shut a door that was open, and then paused. It was the door to the roof. Realization slowly dawned on him. "No," he murmured. "No. Oh, no no no no." He dropped his broom and sprinted up the steps onto the roof. He looked towards the edge frantically, expecting to see Will standing at the edge... but no one was there. "Fuck. No no no no." He ran over to the edge of the roof and looked down. Had Will already jumped? He squinted. He didn't see any dead bodies. He ran to the other side of the roof.
"Hey, man, you okay?"
Finn stopped and stared at the man smoking a cigarette - his fellow janitor, Jake. "Wha- what are you doing here?"
"Smoking a cigarette," said Jake, looking at Finn as though he was crazy. "Uh. Where's the fire?"
"Has anyone else been up here?" Finn asked, wanting to grab Jake and shake the answers out of him.
Jake shook his head. "Just me. Didn't feel like going all the way outside, you know? I unlocked the door."
Finn nodded. "Okay... okay. Okay, good."
"You okay, buddy? You're white as a ghost."
"Fine," Finn replied, running back down the steps.
Well, fuck. He'd been sure that Will was out there, that Will was so upset by Finn's rejection that he'd gone to kill himself. Well, not just Finn's rejection. Will had been rejected by Finn, cheated on by his wife... fuck. He realized, suddenly, that he was walking towards Will's office. He told himself that he just wanted to make sure Will was alright, just confirm that his friend was sitting at his desk. Then everything would be fine... he'd stop hyperventilating... he'd be able to think again.
He was running. He was running down the row of cubicles to Will's. Will came out into the makeshift hallway, looking around. "Finn," he said, surprised. "Is everything okay? I heard noise..."
Finn stared at him for a moment. Will was standing there, his body whole and unbroken. He had bags under his eyes like he hadn't been sleeping, his posture was slouched, his skin was pallid - it was clear that Will hadn't been doing well. Probably hadn't been getting any sleep. Finn reached out to touch his cheek, just to confirm that Will was solid and there, but stopped when he noticed how badly his hand was shaking.
"Finn, Finn, are you okay?" Will asked, waving his hand in front of Finn's face. "Say something. You look like you've seen a ghost." He looked like he wanted to hug Finn, but stood awkwardly instead. "C'mon, say something."
"Door to the roof was open," Finn finally muttered. "Thought you..."
"Oh," Will whispered.
"Yeah..."
"Well, I didn't. I'm fine. See?" He spread his arms out. "Nothing to worry about."
Finn nodded. He stared at Will for another moment, and then grabbed him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry," he murmured into Will's shoulder. "Fuck, I'm sorry."
Will tried to get away at first, but quickly relaxed in Finn's arms and hugged him back. "You didn't do anything wrong," Will replied. "Nothing to be sorry for."
Finn pulled away and looked at him. "I pushed you away. I shouldn't have--"
"No, I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place, Finn, I--"
Finn shook his head. "I was scared. And surprised. And stupid. I wanted it too, I think, I just didn't realize it. It was all so sudden..."
Will gave him a small smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes, and Finn knew enough of Will's real smiles to quickly identify it as fake. "I know. I wasn't thinking. Anyway, I have a little bit more work to get done, so why don't we discuss this later, okay?"
Finn grabbed his arm. "Fuck, Will, don't lie to me."
Will looked scared for a moment, and Finn realized how tightly he was gripping Will's arm. He loosened his hold a little. "Sorry... what I mean is... could we try it again, maybe?"
"You mean...?"
"Yeah."
Will looked scared. Terrified, and completely vulnerable... and beautiful. Finn, very gently, cupped his face in his hands and kissed him.
It began like last time, except that this time, Finn didn't pull away. He let himself savor it. To his immense relief, Will kissed back.
When they pulled apart, Will watched him, guardedly, as if was bracing himself for Finn to run away again. Finn squeezed his hand reassuringly. "That was... that was good."
"...Are you sure?"
"Fuck, Will... yes. Yes I'm sure. I was such an idiot for running away, for hurting you..." He kissed Will again, as if in a short amount of time, he'd lose his opportunity. "I want this. I want this with you."
"What do you want? Because I'm not sure we want the same things."
"I want you in my life, all the time. I want you to help me raise Izzie. I want to wake up with you. I don't know... Will, I want everything."
Will held Finn's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks gently. "Finn... here's the thing that scares me - I love you. And I need to know, right now, if you feel the same way... or if you could, eventually. It's okay to say no."
"Love you," Finn breathed, pressing his forehead against Will's. "I do." He smiled, as he realized the truth in his words. "I really, really do. Will, I love you."
Will grinned, and the simple act filled Finn with relief. He'd been waiting to see that smile again, and he knew that it was reflected on his own face. "Thank goodness," Will replied, and then the two of them were kissing again. It was less hesitant this time, and Finn ended up sitting in Will's desk chair with Will in his lap. Eventually they pulled apart, and Will rested his head in the crook of Finn's shoulder, as Finn held him tightly.
"This," Finn said, squeezing him slightly. "This is good. This feels right, you know?"
Will kissed his chin. "Yeah, I know." He glanced at the clock on his desk. "You should be going home soon, shouldn't you?"
"I guess so. I just don't want to leave you..." His voice trailed off as a thought occurred to him. "Will, where have you been staying?"
He could feel Will stiffen in his arms and begin to move away, and he made a mental note to regain Will's trust so that kind of thing wouldn't happen. He held Will tighter and kissed his temple, and Will sagged against him and sighed. "Here... and my car. It's not permanent, obviously, and I tried the Paradise Motel but it was terrible and..."
"Oh, Will," Finn breathed, running a hand through his hair. "That sucks. I'm so sorry."
Will shook his head and finally stood up. "Don't pity me, okay? It's only temporary, until I find a new apartment."
Finn nodded. "Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"
"I can't. Quinn--"
"We have a couch. Please? Just... just let me take care of you a little? I know Izzie will be really happy to see you..."
Will smiled softly. "You just had to bring her into it, didn't you? You know I can't say no to her."
Finn beamed. "And that's why I love you. Well, one of the reasons." He kissed Will quickly and nodded. "Okay, I need to go put my stuff away... give me ten minutes, yeah?"
"Yeah, okay," Will replied, reaching for his duffel bag.
Finn jogged back to where his janitorial supplies had been abandoned. He was struck, suddenly, by the silliness of his actions. Why was he jogging? But no, he knew why. He didn't want to be away from Will longer than he had to be. He wasn't confident quite yet that when he returned, Will would still be there.
Will was still there. He'd shut off his computer, and was leaning back in his desk chair, his eyes closed. Finn took a moment to study him. He was beautiful, absolutely, and there were so many things Finn wanted to do to that body... he wanted to learn what every inch of it tasted like, felt like under his fingers. He wanted to mark it and claim it as his own. Will's eyes fluttered opened and he smiled up at Finn. "I'm ready to go," he said, simply, standing.
They kissed. Finn initiated it, but Will responded happily. Finn was relieved to find that all of the weirdness from their very first kiss was now gone. "Okay," Finn finally said, wrapping his arm around Will's waist. "Let's go."
"Someone might see us," Will said, glancing at Finn's arm. "Another janitor, maybe."
Finn sighed. "Yeah... I guess so." He took Will's hand instead, and Will kissed Finn's larger, rougher hand.
That made Finn pull Will in for another kiss, which left Will laughing, saying, "C'mon, stop getting distracted."
Finn grinned at him, and they somehow managed to exit the office building without stopping too many times. "If this goes well, we should consider something more permanent," Finn said, getting into Will's car. "When you get out of the parking garage, turn right."
"I know where you live," Will said, pulling out of his parking space. "And, what do you mean by something more permanent?"
"Like you moving in."
Will smiled and shook his head. "You keep forgetting about Quinn."
"No I don't. I need to talk to her anyway. Even without you, things need to change... we need to figure out a way that everyone can stop being so miserable. I don't want Izzie growing up like that."
Will nodded. "You really want me living with you, though?"
"Absolutely," Finn replied, so quickly that he clearly didn't even need to think about it. Will smiled and turned onto Finn's street.
"I can carry my own bag," Will said, as Finn picked up his back.
"Yeah, yeah," Finn replied, ignoring the comment. "Alright, Izzie should already be asleep. I'll get you a sheet and blankets and pillows and stuff, and I need to talk to Quinn. Are you hungry? Help yourself to anything."
They were about to go inside the house when Will touched Finn's arm. Finn turned to look at him, curiously. "Thank you for this," Will said, softly, hugging Finn. "This really means a lot to me."
Finn kissed the top of Will's head. "Thank you for letting me," he whispered in reply, and then opened the door. He made his way through the house, to the bedroom that he shared with Quinn. Quinn was sitting on it, reading a book. She looked up when Finn entered. "Hey," he said, raising a hand in greeting.
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "I hear footsteps in the living room."
"Yeah... that's Will. I'm letting him stay here tonight."
Quinn sighed and closed her book. "Why?"
"His wife has been cheating on him."
She nodded. "How long is he staying?"
"However long he needs to."
Quinn looked at Finn carefully. "Is this because you're helping out a friend and feel bad for him... or because you're in love with him?"
"What-- why--"
Quinn rolled her eyes and picked up her book again. "Yeah, I thought so. It's obvious, Finn."
"Why... how is it obvious?"
"Well, I'm not an idiot. He enters your life and you're happier than I've ever seen you. You guys get in some stupid fight, and you mope around like..." She waved her hand around, trying to find the right word, and then shrugged. "It was pathetic. Oh, and you kept muttering his name in your sleep. 'Will, I'm sorry.' 'Will, I love you.'"
"I did? Wait, aren't you upset?"
Quinn shrugged a shoulder. "We're not married. We're not even in love. There's no need for both of us to be miserable. Besides, he's a good parental figure for Izzie, and he seems like a decent guy. But if you want his moving in to be permanent, we'll need a bigger house. I'm not sleeping on the couch."
Finn blinked at her. "I didn't expect this to be so... calm."
Quinn shrugged. "I already ruined your life once by making you drop out of high school to raise this child--"
"--who isn't mine. Yeah, I know. She's Puck's, right? She looks just like him."
"Yeah, but you're her daddy."
"So it's like, in return for my being a good Daddy, I can be happy too?"
"Yeah, something like that. But as I said, bigger house. Figure out a way for that to happen, preferably in any town that isn't Lima, and I'm fine with it. I'm not leaving, though. I'm helping raise my daughter. Will can help, but I'm the Mommy."
Finn kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you, Quinn."
She smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Go give your boyfriend a blanket or something, he must be freezing."
Finn found the softest, warmest blanket, and a pillow that still had most of its stuffing. Frowning, he also grabbed his favorite pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. He didn't know what kind of night clothes Will had, but he'd be damned if Will wasn't as comfortable as possible.
Will was curled up on the couch, still wearing his clothing from the day. He seemed to have collapsed from exhaustion as soon as he'd found the couch. Finn knelt next to him and kissed his forehead. "Hey," he whispered, draping the blanket over Will.
Will's eyes opened and he smiled. "Hey," he murmured. "Sorry... tired."
Finn touched Will's cheek gently, trailing his finger over the stubble that was there. "I have sweatpants and a t shirt for you, if you want them."
"'Kay."
Finn watched Will change, shamelessly. He was surprised at the reasonably well defined muscles on Will's chest, and desperately wanted to reach out and touch them. The next moment, though, Will was wearing Finn's old McKinley High School football shirt, and Finn liked that sight almost as much - Will wearing his clothes. He fluffed the pillow and placed it on one side of the couch, and then tucked the blanket around Will once he lay back down. "Comfy?" he asked, kissing Will chastely.
Will nodded. "Way better than my car. Is Quinn okay with this?"
"She's okay with everything. She says that because I'm a good Dad we can all move out of Lima together, into a bigger house."
Will's brow furrowed. "She knows about us?"
"Yeah. Apparently I have the same ability to hide my feelings as a puppy."
Will laughed. "Ask her how she feels about north New Jersey."
"Why?"
"I... might have already applied for a job there."
"You-- you did?"
Will nodded. "A few days ago. I didn't know what to do, and I thought that leaving Lima might fix everything."
"You were just... going to leave?" Finn bit his lip, unable to imagine that actually happening.
Will squeezed his hand. "I wouldn't have just left without saying goodbye. I haven't even gotten the job yet. It was just... if things didn't work out with us, I'd be able to escape. I wouldn't have been able to stay in Lima... it would hurt too much. It... still does."
Finn hugged Will's arm. "Yeah, I get that. Lima is where dreams go to die. When do you hear back about the job?"
"By the end of the week."
"And you'd be willing to take me and Izzie and Quinn with you? And be a family with us?"
"Would I finally like to have a real chance to be happy, you mean?" He looked Finn in the eyes for a long moment, and then kissed him. "Absolutely."
--
"Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! Wake up!"
"Wha--? What is it?"
"Daddy," Izzie said, pulling on Finn's sleeve. "It's Willy. He's on our couch."
"Mmm... did you wake him up?"
"No... but I will! Does this mean you're friends again? Does it? Please say it does, I don't want Willy to go away again."
Finn pulled his daughter up into his lap. "Yes, we're friends again. In fact, Will's going to be staying with us a little while, if it's okay with you."
Izzie frowned and shook her head.
"You don't want him to stay with us?"
"Not for a little while. That's not very long. Willy should stay with us all the time, Daddy. I don't want him to leave."
Finn grinned and picked up his daughter, carrying her into the living room next to the couch Will was lying on. Will was just waking up, getting his face licked by Woofie. He smiled at them. "Good morning," he said, sleepily. "Hi, Izzie."
"Willy!" Izzie said, jumping on top of him in a full bodied hug. "Can you stay with us all the time? I don't want you here for a little while, I want you here for an always while."
Will smiled at her, his eyes sparkling. "Are you sure about that?"
"Well, only if you read me stories. You do voices better than Daddy, sorry Daddy. And only if you teach me 'Here Comes the Sun' because you said you would and you shouldn't break promises."
"I can do that."
"I know that lots of kids have a Mommy and a Daddy like I do, but their Mommies and Daddies are married, and mine aren't. They're only together because they love me. So I think I want to have a Mommy and a Daddy and a Willy. And Daddy and Willy can love each other, and they can love me and so will Mommy, and it'll be really great."
Will blinked at her. "Wow... you. Okay."
"I mean, you and Daddy love each other, right? I think you do. When you see each other you smile really big and get really happy and stuff and that means love."
Will looked at Finn intently, who smiled back. "Yeah," Finn said, kissing Will tenderly. "We do."
==
And so, all we have left is the Epilogue... and that's actually the only part I haven't finished. Seriously, you have no idea how hard I've worked on this story. I have about 4,000 words of deleted scenes, all with different ways this story almost went. Same with the Epilogue. I mean, I know what happens to them, I'm just not sure how to tell it. But yeah, it'll be up within the week. Until then...
All chapters of this story, once posted, will be be found HERE
The rest of my fic can be found HERE