A Libertine Education, for idolkiller (1/3)
Title: A Libertine Education
Recipient: idolkiller
Pairing: established!Mino/Taehyun, Mino/Taehyun/Seungyoon, side!Jinwoo/Seunghoon
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit and implied sexual situations, mature language
Summary: Never in a million years did Mino think the most satisfying sexual relationship of his life would be with his boyfriend...and their new neighbor.
Notes: Thank you to the wonderful mods for putting on this exchange, and for being so very patient with me and all my complications. To my recipient, this is probably not at all what you expected, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. This is the most difficult story I have ever written, and, in all honesty, it wouldn't have gotten done if it hadn't been for my beta reader--thank you for being amazing & holding my hand & bringing me back from the edge <3
Part One
It starts off as an idea.
It’s Friday night and the usual suspects are gathered around an old dining table - one handed down from one of Seunghoon’s sisters that had been passed to her through a neighbor, and then somehow landing in Mino’s possession once Seunghoon had moved out of their apartment. Four young men sit with loose ties and looser tongues, a good amount of alcohol providing the necessary social lubricant to help them forget their desk jobs and welcome the weekend properly. Taehyun has been chain smoking from the moment he pushed through the front door, and they all make do with the smoke that burns their eyes and lingers on their skin and curls into their lungs because Taehyun is the youngest among them. And because it’s his apartment they’re all gathered in.
The apartment he shares with Mino, that is.
A question comes from Jinwoo as he deals out the next round of cards. “Whose turn is it?”
“Seunghoon’s, I think,” Taehyun says as he lifts the corners of his cards, cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips.
It was a well-known game among them, a mutated form of truth-or-truth in which they all posed questions to the group, and answered them in turn. Since they were all required to answer, the questions tended to be rather tame, lest one revealed some embarrassing about oneself, but occasionally there were questions that shook things up.
This was one such occasion.
With a resounding pop, Seunghoon pulls the lollipop he’s been working on for the last quarter hour from his mouth. “Would you hook up with Seungyoon if you weren’t dating your significant other and the opportunity presented itself?”
Mino answers immediately. “No.”
Meanwhile Seunghoon and Jinwoo eye each other from their seats, a silent battle of wills. And like always, it is Seunghoon who breaks first.
“You know I wouldn’t,” he says resignedly, and while he’s speaking to the room, everyone knows his answer is really for one person only.
Jinwoo’s smile is indulgent bordering on gloating. “I wouldn’t want to either.”
There is a noticeable hush that falls over the threesome as they all turn their gazes toward Taehyun, who simply folds his hand, tossing his cards onto the center of the table.
“Yes,” Taehyun says without even the slightest quiver of hesitation in his voice. He was of the nature that wasn’t used to coddling others, and he refused to be embarrassed about his past, his interests, or his inclinations.
Across the table, Mino frowns.
A smile creeps over Taehyun’s face before he’s laughing and dismissing the whole thing with a wave of his hand. “But as it happens, I am dating Mino, and quite happily, so that scenario is all but impossible.”
He lays a hand, by coincidence or design, on Mino’s leg, giving his thigh a light squeeze, while his free hand moves to flick ash into an empty beer can.
The next question belongs to Taehyun. “How do you even know who Seungyoon is?”
Seungyoon was their neighbor’s nephew, having moved in two weeks ago and taking over Mrs. Kim’s old place at the end of the hall, feeding her cat and watering her plants while she spent a few months traveling the world. Word spread around the building the week previous when Seungyoon had run into some other tenants when he was moving in.
“Oh, we saw this new guy lurking around in the building-”
“He wasn’t lurking,” Jinwoo admonishes his boyfriend while folding his own cards. “We met him in the hallway. He seemed very nice.” It isn’t surprising, this description of the new resident of their hall. Jinwoo considers everyone to be very nice.
Curious, it is Taehyun who responds next. “I haven’t met him yet, but Mino said he might be a musician.”
“I mean, I haven’t had the chance to talk to him much, but the guitar case in his hand seemed a dead giveaway,” Mino clarifies. "He does seem like a polite kid."
“And very straight,” Seunghoon slurs around his lollipop. Next to him, Jinwoo nods solemnly.
And so it was that Kang Seungyoon was allowed to be in possession of a rather sweet and polite disposition, and declared to be, regrettably, heterosexual.
“Right,” Jinwoo says, content to let that be the last word on the topic. He claps his hands together and asks brightly. “Now, who would like some more chips? Ice cream?”
And just like that, the tension in the room breaks, and if anyone notices the pinched expression on Mino’s face, they do well not to mention it.
It is only later, when they’re both getting ready for bed, Taehyun sliding in between crisp sheets and Mino in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt, that Taehyun speaks up.
“It doesn’t mean anything, you know. It was just a question. Only a game.”
Mino’s only tell is the slight pause his fingers take before pulling the fabric away from his chest and tossing it into the hamper. His reply is simple and clear, delivered with a quick tilt of his lips that might have passed for a smile before walking into the bathroom and closing the door softly behind him.
“I know.”
////
With one final sweep of his hair, Seunghoon had followed Mino into the dim bar-if it could really even be called that. It was more a gathering of mismatched tables and chairs strategically placed around a raised slab of concrete that the bar’s employees insisted was a stage. Peeling paint, a shoddily constructed bar top, cheap liquor, and wonky stools rounded out the space, creating the ideal bar for sleep-deprived college students short on cash.
It was not normally the kind of place that Mino and Seunghoon liked to frequent, preferring dance clubs, social mixers hosted by their fraternity, and the occasional purely academic networking event. Dingy, makeshift bars with no name, no prices, and no real addresses weren’t exactly their scenes. Subconsciously, Seunghoon ran a hand through his hair while Mino tugged on the hem of his respectable, but rather dull, plaid shirt.
And yet, the pair found themselves in this bar for two reasons: the first, Seunghoon had recently found out that the boy in his finance class, the very one he’d been harboring a rather obvious and embarrassing crush on since the beginning of the semester, tended the bar on the weekends, and the second, Mino’s all-time favorite musicians were not only in town but also performing a free show for college students in said nameless bar.
All in all, it made for a promising night.
Quickly scanning the area, Seunghoon was easily able to find Jinwoo’s angelic face, pushing through the throng of people already congregating in the small space with Mino at his heels. It was still rather early for the Friday evening show, but Seunghoon had insisted upon their timely arrival, stressing the importance of being able to chat Jinwoo up at the bar prior to the evening’s rush. So Mino had unceremoniously been pulled from his desk an entire hour earlier than he had planned, his term paper all be abandoned as he was shoved into the shower. Meanwhile, Seunghoon had walked into Mino’s closet to pick out his outfit for the evening. They had spent about minutes arguing over Seunghoon’s choice of wardrobe and the appropriateness of paisley-Mino eventually winning-but as he swept his eyes over the casual attire of those around him, he lamented not going with Seunghoon’s picks.
Both Mino and Seunghoon managed to drag two stools to the bar, where Jinwoo was waiting, a generous and patient smile on his face. Introductions were made, handshakes were exchanged, drinks were ordered and delivered, and then Mino was promptly forgotten as Seunghoon tried to, and succeeded in, monopolizing nearly all of Jinwoo’s attention.
Not that Mino much minded. The beer in his hand was cold and crisp, his seat, while a bit on the wobbly side, was perfectly situated to give him a prime sightline of the stage. He felt a little shiver of excitement snake down his back. He couldn’t believe in just a few hours he’d be seeing his favorite group perform before his very eyes. He began to drum his fingers against the rough grain off the bar top in anticipation.
Taking another sip of his beer, Mino glanced at his roommate, and unequivocal best friend since the start of freshmen year, try to land the guy of his dreams. It was actually quite entertaining.
“This seat taken?”
Mino raised his eyes from the rim of his glass to find a stranger at his elbow, looking expectantly down at him. The tall stranger wore his jeans ripped-and paired with a black jacket-his hair blonde and falling across his forehead in that style that was all false nonchalance, and his gaze sharp and discerning.
“Well?” The stranger spoke again, eyebrow lifting.
“N-no,” Mino cleared his throat. “No. It’s all yours.”
The stranger nodded exactly once before dropping into the empty stool next to Mino, their legs bumping. He leaned over and tried to catch Jinwoo’s eye.
“Oh, hey, Taehyun,” Jinwoo smiled warmly when he finally noticed, and recognized, the new arrival. “What will it be today?”
“That depends. Are you still off limits?” Taehyun’s words were ripe with suggestion and not a little flirtation. Jinwoo laughed in good humor and shook his head, his white teeth flashing.
From the corner of his eye, Mino could see Seunghoon's eyes narrow as a knowing, nearly intimate look passed between the bartender and the newcomer. Observing the scene unfolding before him, Mino grabbed at his glass, tipping the contents into his mouth with eager enthusiasm only to end up sputtering and reaching for the damp napkin on the counter. Wiping his mouth and muttering an apology, Mino looked up and found that he had earned the attention of three sets of eyes.
At his elbow, Taehyun’s eyes were sparking in amusement. He dragged his long fingers across his bottom lip as his gaze flickered over Mino in interested appraisal. Instantly, Mino looked away, wishing he hadn’t finished his drink because his hands were longing to do something.
Taehyun leaned in. “Let me buy you a drink.”
It wasn’t a request. He was so close Mino could feel his breath kiss his cheek.
Mino swallowed, forcing himself to stay put and not retreat. “Uh…”
Smirking, Taehyun leaned back but kept staring at Mino, calling over his shoulder. “Hey Jinwoo, a refill here for…”
His words hung heavy in the air.
“Mino,” Seunghoon volunteered from behind Mino’s back. “You can call him Mino.”
“Right.” A slow smile spread across Taehyun’s face, “Mino.”
It was the first time that Mino thought his rather common and ordinary name sounded, well, sensual. Despite himself, he flushed.
Luckily, Jinwoo appeared in front of him, setting down a new glass of the amber liquid, froth spilling slightly over the rim. Jinwoo looked expectantly at Taehyun.
“And I’ll have whatever Mino is having, please.”
It took Mino a moment, too long of a moment, really, to realize that the stranger-no-that Taehyun had just bought him a drink. He stared at the tall glass, fumbling for the proper words to use when one finds themselves in the situation of receiving unsolicited drinks from a stranger.
Jinwoo tilted his head. “You sure? You’re not usually one for beer, I thought.”
“I’m open to new things,” Taehyun redirected his gaze, shooting Jinwoo yet another meaningful glance and adding in a low tone, “As you well know.”
The corner of Jinwoo’s mouth flicked up. “Beer it is.”
Mino was fairly certain that the choking noise behind him was coming from Seunghoon.
After Jinwoo had deposited the requested drink in front of him, Taehyun turned his attentions back to Mino. “Well, Mino,” Taehyun spoke, all honeyed words and pink lips. “Should we toast?”
Mino’s hand was heavy on the bar top. Glancing at his companion, who was smiling brightly up at him, he felt himself give way. This didn’t mean anything-didn’t have to be more than he let it. He reached for his drink, wrapped his fingers around its smooth curve.
“To being young, handsome, and hopefully, laid.”
Clinking glasses, Mino gave Taehyun his first laugh of the evening. And Taehyun looked absolutely delighted.
“You can call me Taehyun,” he offered, dipping his finger into the foam sitting at the top of his beer, and bringing it to his lips. A pink tongue came to lick the froth from his fingertip. If Mino were more naïve he would have passed it off as an innocent incident, but he knew better. He had a feeling Taehyun didn’t do anything by accident.
“Thank you, Taehyun, for this,” he gestured to his half empty glass. “It was nice of you.”
Taehyun leaned in again, resting his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow perched on the bar top. “So, what brings you here tonight?” he asked, eyes once more flicking down Mino’s body. “I take it that it’s your first time at this bar?”
Mino glanced down at his pressed pants and collared shirt, feeling all the more out of place now that someone had noticed how much he stuck out.
“That obvious, huh?” He was smiling.
“Only a little bit,” Taehyun replied, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Then he leaned in even closer, his lips brushing the shell of Mino’s ear as he whispered. “But give it an hour and everyone will be too drunk to notice.”
Hearing this, Mino couldn’t help but laugh.
Suddenly aware of how close they were, the words rushed out of Mino’s mouth. “Uh, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.”
“Is that an invitation?”
Mino almost fell out of his chair.
“Relax, I was kidding,” Taehyun laughed and waved him away while Mino was certain his face was an unbecoming shade of red. He scrambled off his stool, eager to make a quick exit.
“Unless you want me to be serious.”
Mino, once again, stopped in his tracks, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “Um, Taehyun-”
Taehyun laughed again, exposing his teeth as he tossed his head back in mirth. “Again, I was just kidding.”
And this time he let Mino leave without another comment.
Mino didn’t really think that Taehyun was serious about following him into the restroom, but then, just as he pushed the door to the men’s restroom open, he registered rapid footsteps coming up just behind him. In the next second, he found himself being forcefully shoved into the restroom, the noise of the door being slammed shut and locked echoing off the walls in the small space.
When Mino turned around, the last person he expected to corner him in a restroom was Seunghoon, who was staring at him with a wicked gleam in his eye.
“Hoon?” He stared in confusion. “What the hell are you-”
“Let’s talk, Mino.”
“What? This couldn’t have waited?”
“Mino, please,” Seunghoon began excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Mino knew that his friend was only seconds away from doing a little dance. It had always been Seunghoon’s default to express his happiness or excitement through the movement of his body.
“That guy likes you. I think you should go for it.”
“By that guy, I’m assuming you mean Taehyun.”
“Yes, him,” Seunghoon replied in exasperation, over emphasizing his vowels. “This could be good for you. I know you’re still hung up over the one that got away, but honestly, how long do you plan on keeping that up?”
Mino bristled, feeling attacked and not understanding why Seunghoon was choosing to bring his failed romances up here, of all places.
“I am not still hung up on anybody, Hoon. I told you that I’m over it.”
Seunghoon only nodded his head. “Yes, well, you could be more over it if you dated someone. Someone who is clearly interested in you. Someone tall. With blonde hair. Someone with a penchant for black clothing. Hm…where could we find such a person, I wonder.”
“I’m seriously not having this conversation with you right now.” And with that Mino turned away and walked to the furthest urinal to do his business.
“Fine, if you don’t want to date him, don’t.”
Mino gasped when Seunghoon appeared at his elbow. “Jesus, fuck, Seunghoon, get away from me!”
Someone knocked on the door.
“All I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be all angst-ridden romance. Something tells me Taehyun isn’t looking for commitment,” Seunghoon said pointedly.
“Why do you care so much about this?”
The knocking turned into banging on the door.
“Because I can tell you’re interested in him!” Seunghoon’s tone revealed that the thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And because I am your friend, I know that you’re going to suppress whatever part of you that wants to do a tongue dance with our blonde friend out there. And because I am your friend, I am trying to convince you not to do exactly that.”
Mino stood there gaping under the fluorescent lighting in the restroom of that small, nameless bar.
“I’m not saying you should be reckless. But do I think you should loosen up and give this guy a chance? Yes, absolutely,” Seunghoon was looking him with something akin to pity in his eyes.
Sighing, Mino moved toward the sink to wash his hands.
“Talk to him. Enjoy his smiles and his company. If you want to kiss him, assuming he wants to kiss you back, do it. If you both decide you want to do more than kiss, then do it.”
Mino flushed. “And if I decide I don’t want anything more than conversation?”
“Then you shake hands and go home alone at the end of the night,” Seunghoon shrugged his shoulders. “Give him a chance. Really, it’s been ages since you’ve even looked twice at someone. You could use the practice.”
“This is nothing wrong-I don’t need the practice, Hoon!” he sputtered.
There was now shouting accompanying the banging.
Seunghoon only looked at him pointedly. “If you say so.”
“I don’t know how you get me to do half of the things you do,” Mino sighed again as he tossed the wadded up paper towels in his hands into the trash. “Or why I ever listen to you to begin with.”
Triumphant, Seunghoon grinned widely, slapping a hand on Mino’s back. “You won’t regret this.”
“I think I already do.”
Mino finally unlocked the door, swinging it open to reveal a line of people three deep, and a one very flushed gentleman who took one look at Mino and Seunghoon and pushed hard past their shoulders.
“I hope you two bastards wiped the place down at least,” he grumbled.
So that was how Mino had ended up buying the next round of drinks for himself and Taehyun, while Seunghoon trailed after Jinwoo when the bartender when out for his break. It had been over the course of this third glass that Mino realized, after Taehyun toned down the thinly-veiled come-ons, that his companion wasn’t half bad.
Actually, he wasn’t bad at all.
Taehyun was clearly attractive, perhaps not in the traditional sense, but as Mino’s eyes roamed over him once more, he couldn’t help but think that Taehyun’s unconventional looks were what made him so interesting to look at.
He quietly watched as Taehyun’s eyes sparkled as he described, in vivid animation and a proud and indulgent grin on his face, some story about his cats of all things. Mino thought that between the childlike adoration of his pets and the smudged eyeliner, there was obviously a lot more to Taehyun than he had initially thought.
Mino was intrigued, and after another round of drinks were placed in front of them- complete with a conspiratorial wink from Jinwoo- conversation flowing freely between their lips, he found himself not at all opposed to knowing more about the man staring at him over the rim of his glass.
It was another half hour before Seunghoon came strutting up to the bar, goofy smile plastered on his face, and promptly announced that the next round of drinks was on him. Mino was about question Seunghoon’s rather odd behavior (as well as his whereabouts because he hadn’t even seen Seunghoon leave), but he found he didn’t have to when Jinwoo appeared behind the bar not a moment later, looking a bit dazed. Glowing, but definitely dazed.
It didn’t take an astronaut to figure out the cause of Seunghoon’s good mood, and Mino graciously accepted the cloudy concoction his friend thrust into his hand. Even Taehyun got a drink, and he smirked behind his glass as Seunghoon leaned into him and pronounced him not a bad guy at all and Mino could definitely do worse. In fact, he has done worse.
Mino had to drag Taehyun away, bringing them to stand against the far side of the bar, Seunghoon’s cackling laughter echoing behind them.
“So you’ve done worse than me, eh?” Taehyun turned to him, a teasing smile on his lips. Mino swallowed. Taehyun, he decided, had a rather nice looking mouth.
But maybe that was the alcohol talking.
“Seunghoon likes to tease, I wouldn’t read into it too much,” Mino found himself saying.
Taehyun pouted, those lips he was admiring turning downwards and it was only then that Mino realized how close together they were, once again. That he was still holding onto Taehyun’s elbow.
Mino let go.
Clearing his throat and looking around the room, Mino saw that a decently sized crowd had gathered, filling all the nooks and spaces of the small bar, and he could feel the beat from the sound system pulse beneath his feet. Turning back, he gasped to find that Taehyun had inched even closer than before, his warm body pressed up against the length of his side. Mino took in a shaky breath even as he willed himself not to cower. Taehyun only pressed closer, lips brushing against his ear when he whispered.
“What to get some air?”
Mino stood in the dark alley behind that nameless bar, watching Taehyun play with the lighter in his hands, flame bursting forth seemingly from his fingertips before extinguishing a moment later. The movement of Taehyun’s wrist, moving rhythmically in the night air was as mesmerizing as it was hypnotic. Mino stared in a kind of daze, as if he’d been put under a spell, but then again he had consumed a fair amount of alcohol this evening and it felt as if it was all catching up to him. And quickly.
But as Mino looked at Taehyun’s face, half in shadows and half aglow from the cigarette hanging from his lip and the flickering light of the flames he commanded in his hands, the thought occurred to him that perhaps alcohol had nothing to do with it.
Whatever it was.
“So, you and Jinwoo.”
It was supposed to be a question, but it came out as something between a statement and an accusation.
In the darkness, Taehyun’s eyebrow rose. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” he smirked.
“No,” Mino replied, trying not to slur his words and act casual. “I’m not. I’m just making an observation.”
“Really, an observation. Me and Jinwoo-that’s what you’re going with?”
Mino scoffed, affronted at being so unceremoniously called out. “I’m asking for a friend.”
Taehyun laughed again, a deep, incredulous laugh, and Mino felt his cheeks burn. “I think we should stop dancing around the elephant in the room, don’t you?” he said as he pushed off the wall he was leaning on. Crushing his cigarette under his boot, he approached with measured steps, blonde hair glinting under the lamplight, every bit beautiful in the rising darkness.
“Jinwoo and I are, and have never been more than, friends,” he spoke slowly, his voice full of purpose as he drew closer to Mino. “As much as I hate to divulge the rather boring and unremarkable history between us, I have a feeling it would be to my advantage to make an exception.”
“Your advantage?” There was a definite wobble in his words.
“Jinwoo was my resident advisor when I was lived in the dorms my first year.” Taehyun shrugged, a small smile pulling on the corner of his lips. “I like to tease and he’s always been good at tolerating me. But don’t worry, he seems, I think, quite taken with your friend. Or, at least, he hopes to be.”
Taehyun stopped right in front of him. Close enough to touch.
“And besides he’s not the one I’m interested in.”
Mino felt himself holding his breath as he watched Taehyun reach out to finger the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t want to waste your time and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t waste mine. I like you, Mino, and am very interested in knowing you better. But if you’re not interested in that, well, consider this your ticket out. Just say the word and I’ll leave you alone to babysit your friend and Jinwoo, no hard feelings.”
Mino couldn’t help it. “You want to know me better?”
And there was that smirk again, but softer now. “Yes,” Taehyun whispered, closing the gap between them. He pressed his lips chastely against Mino’s jaw.
“In the biblical sense,” he smiled against Mino’s skin when he didn’t pull away.
In fact, it probably came as more of a surprise to Mino when he looked down to find his hands on Taehyun’s waist, thumbs digging into his hipbones.
“Mino.”
“Hm?”
“If you don’t want this, tell me now.”
For a moment, Seunghoon flashed behind Mino’s eyelids, his words taunting and lingering in his ears. Give him a chance. This could be good for you.
Mino didn’t answer. Instead, he closed his eyes and kissed Taehyun.
Heated kisses in the alley turned into heavy petting in the backseat of the taxicab en route to Taehyun’s apartment. If Mino had any reservations or hesitation, all of that fell to the way side under Taehyun’s guiding hands, the warmth of his mouth, and the encouraging sighs he couldn’t quite keep silent.
Shameless groping in the taxicab turned into Taehyun clawing at Mino’s shoulders while Mino panted Taehyun’s name like a prayer against his neck.
A night of pleasure between the sheets of Taehyun’s bed turned into several nights of ecstasy found with each other between their beds. When Seunghoon knocked on Mino’s door to deliver the economy term paper he owed, it was a sleep-deprived and shirtless roommate that finally pulled the door open. Mino accepted the paper dangling from Seunghoon’s fingers, but not the smug look on his face as he tried to peer into the room over Mino’s shoulders.
Mino closed the door on Seunghoon’s shit-eating grin.
////
A series of regular dates between classes-spent both in and out of bed-turned into an honest-to-god relationship. Without quite meaning to, Mino and Taehyun happily ended up in a committed and exclusive relationship.
But that’s not to say that they didn’t have their share of issues.
Taehyun was an art major a year below him, at least that was his major when they had first met. A semester later it was music, which more made sense since Taehyun had grown up playing the piano and was, in his own words, fucking brilliant at it.
Taehyun was always talking on and on about the revolutionary works of so and so, the masterpieces of this person, the unrecognized talent of that person, the tragic and unfortunate end of an artistic genius whose life was ended far too soon. Honestly, Mino found it difficult to keep up.
He had tried, however. He had tried to follow along when Taehyun played music and pointed out all the stylist choices that made it beautiful and brought tears to his eyes. Mino accompanied him to recitals and shows and stood in the circle with Taehyun’s friends and classmates as they discussed the musicality of the evening’s performances. Mino had even borrowed a few books from the library on music theory, having confessed his predicament to the librarian, who patted his hand and gave him a look of sympathy along with this rather large stack of books.
It wasn’t until Taehyun cornered him in the library one evening while he was trying to discretely study up on the differences between baroque and romantic musical compositions. Taehyun had snuck up behind him and pulled the book from his hands. Ever so calmly, Taehyun took the seat next to him and thumbed through the text, eyebrow raised, while Mino wiggled uncomfortably in his seat.
“I didn’t think you liked baroque pianists,” was all he said.
“I don’t,” Mino replied. “Er, I don’t think I do. Honestly, I’m not even sure I know what a baroque pianist sound like to say if I like them or not, but I know you like them so I want to learn.”
Taehyun closed the book. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know I don’t,” Mino reached to take the book back, and Taehyun let him. “I want to.”
He could feel the weight of Taehyun’s gaze, considering him. When Mino finally met his eyes, the expression on his boyfriend’s face was thoughtful.
“You’re very sweet,” Taehyun had said. “And I appreciate that you would be so willing to like the same things I like. Really, I am. I know that all of this doesn’t come easy to you.”
“Or at all,” Mino mumbled.
Taehyun’s smile was sweet. “Right, or at all.”
He reached over and took Mino’s hand in his. Taehyun was all gentleness when he spoke again. “It’s okay to not know all of this stuff. It’s more than okay. I won’t like you any less.”
Mino pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. “But don’t you want me to be able to relate to you with this?”
“Do you want me to be able to relate to you by learning about corporate management?”
“That’s different,” Mino retorted.
“I don’t see how,” Taehyun said simply, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs in an attempt at being laid-back in what felt like the beginning of an argument.
“It is,” he insisted.
Taehyun studied him for a long moment, head tilted in contemplation. “Well, then I suppose I’ll just check out few books on accounting, economics, and-what else are you taking-business ethics?”
“Quit it.”
Ignoring his boyfriend, Taehyun rose from his chair. “But I want to be able to relate to you, and this seems the only way.”
Taehyun had made it around the table and was nearly to the book stacks when Mino’s voice stopped him.
“When we go out to see a new performance, I know the precise moment when you hear something that you think is brilliant, or something that moves you, or something that makes you think about the world differently,” Mino revealed, voice soft.
When Taehyun turned around, Mino wasn’t looking at him. “Mino-”
“You get this look,” he smiled fondly. “This look like you’ve suddenly come alive. Like this is the thing you’ve been waiting for your entire life.”
“It starts there, with your eyes,” he said, gesturing vaguely. “They light up and you’re all wonder and awe. It spreads too. Across your cheeks and lips, pulling the left side of you mouth up just a tad more than the right side. And then it moves throughout your body, and you always start shaking one of your legs. The right one if you’ve heard something you really like.”
Mino laughed lightly, like it was some intimate secret.
“But it is when you’re confused by a piece. When you don’t know what to make of it and you can’t decide whether you hate it or not. You sit so perfectly still that I often wonder if you’re even still breathing.”
Taehyun was speechless, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.
“I can’t help but want to be a part of that,” Mino finished, hand coming to rest in his lap. “I want to be able to stand next to you and share that moment with you. To feel close to you in that moment of wonder.”
It only took Taehyun three steps before he was kneeling in front of him. Reaching out, he gently cradled Mino’s face between his palms, tilting his chin to find his gaze.
“Really, Mino,” Taehyun brushed his thumbs across Mino’s cheeks. “I love you for so many reasons, and even more for wanting to do this for me. But knowing about music or classical composers it isn’t everything. And I wouldn’t trade you being able to list off ten classical pianists over the you as you are.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” Taehyun’s smile was beautiful as he leaned in and dropped a kiss on Mino’s nose.
Mino couldn’t help the smile that blossomed across his face, and then it was there, that beautiful shimmer in Taehyun’s eyes that let him know all the words he said were true.
"So..we're okay, then?" Taehyun asked, pulling back.
Mino nodded, smiling and resting his forehead against the other's.
"Yeah, we're okay."
////
Nearly three years after their fortunate meeting, Taehyun and Mino remained quite happily together.
Mino forgave himself for not knowing the music, yet dutifully showed up on the elbow of every event Taehyun showed even the littlest bit of interest. Over time, he was even able to pick up on a few things, dazzling Taehyun with his elementary knowledge. In the meantime, he finished up his business degree and took up an internship his senior year. While Taehyun finished up his music degree, Mino ended accepting a job at a start up before eventually transferring to Seunghoon’s company and working in the finance department.
Their relationship had progressed naturally.
When they had first met, Taehyun was all mystery and allure-the kind of boy Mino could only fantasize about as a teenager when he was in bed at night and still trying to convince himself that he was going through a phase and that he really did desire his girlfriend. That their relationship wasn’t just based on a honest affection that stemmed from a lifelong tenure as very good friends.
It was noting at all like his relationship with Taehyun, who, from nearly the first minutes of their acquaintance, stirred desire in his gut and sparked heat in his veins. And the longer he was around Taehyun, the further Mino fell. Taehyun had been rough around the edges, sharp, and living with an intensity that he had never known. In short, Taehyun had represented everything that Mino longed for and admired but never thought could be possible for a guy like him. And after his first taste of the forbidden, Mino was addicted.
And while Taehyun never lost his appeal, over the years their relationship changed from raw passion to one that was more sustainable. Taehyun had graduated with high marks, and while he had a few offers for work-not to mention an opportunity to tour with a prestigious orchestra-he had put aside his aspirations for greatness, choosing instead to use his music degree to teach children at a music academy. He played small clubs and bars here and there when he felt like it.
Friday nights were reserved for cards and beer with Seunghoon and Jinwoo, while Saturday mornings were for farmers’ markets and walks in the park. Weekdays were marked by quick kisses before catching trains, by home-cooked meals and folding laundry over an open bottle of wine, by snuggles before bed, and, on occasion, for nights having perfectly polite sex with the lights off.
Mino had no cause for complaint.
Except.
Except that sometimes, just sometimes, Mino catches a look on Taehyun’s face when he thinks he’s alone or unnoticed. It barely lasts for a moment but the flash of longing on his face gives Mino the impression of a beautiful, wild animal trapped in a cage of domesticity. And it makes Mino feel like his captor, someone whose love of this beautiful, wild thing has forced them into a space he never should be. Mino is afraid that his love is breaking Taehyun’s spirit-the very one he covets and admires in the same breath.
He is terrified that he already has.
PART TWO
Recipient: idolkiller
Pairing: established!Mino/Taehyun, Mino/Taehyun/Seungyoon, side!Jinwoo/Seunghoon
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit and implied sexual situations, mature language
Summary: Never in a million years did Mino think the most satisfying sexual relationship of his life would be with his boyfriend...and their new neighbor.
Notes: Thank you to the wonderful mods for putting on this exchange, and for being so very patient with me and all my complications. To my recipient, this is probably not at all what you expected, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. This is the most difficult story I have ever written, and, in all honesty, it wouldn't have gotten done if it hadn't been for my beta reader--thank you for being amazing & holding my hand & bringing me back from the edge <3
Part One
It starts off as an idea.
It’s Friday night and the usual suspects are gathered around an old dining table - one handed down from one of Seunghoon’s sisters that had been passed to her through a neighbor, and then somehow landing in Mino’s possession once Seunghoon had moved out of their apartment. Four young men sit with loose ties and looser tongues, a good amount of alcohol providing the necessary social lubricant to help them forget their desk jobs and welcome the weekend properly. Taehyun has been chain smoking from the moment he pushed through the front door, and they all make do with the smoke that burns their eyes and lingers on their skin and curls into their lungs because Taehyun is the youngest among them. And because it’s his apartment they’re all gathered in.
The apartment he shares with Mino, that is.
A question comes from Jinwoo as he deals out the next round of cards. “Whose turn is it?”
“Seunghoon’s, I think,” Taehyun says as he lifts the corners of his cards, cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips.
It was a well-known game among them, a mutated form of truth-or-truth in which they all posed questions to the group, and answered them in turn. Since they were all required to answer, the questions tended to be rather tame, lest one revealed some embarrassing about oneself, but occasionally there were questions that shook things up.
This was one such occasion.
With a resounding pop, Seunghoon pulls the lollipop he’s been working on for the last quarter hour from his mouth. “Would you hook up with Seungyoon if you weren’t dating your significant other and the opportunity presented itself?”
Mino answers immediately. “No.”
Meanwhile Seunghoon and Jinwoo eye each other from their seats, a silent battle of wills. And like always, it is Seunghoon who breaks first.
“You know I wouldn’t,” he says resignedly, and while he’s speaking to the room, everyone knows his answer is really for one person only.
Jinwoo’s smile is indulgent bordering on gloating. “I wouldn’t want to either.”
There is a noticeable hush that falls over the threesome as they all turn their gazes toward Taehyun, who simply folds his hand, tossing his cards onto the center of the table.
“Yes,” Taehyun says without even the slightest quiver of hesitation in his voice. He was of the nature that wasn’t used to coddling others, and he refused to be embarrassed about his past, his interests, or his inclinations.
Across the table, Mino frowns.
A smile creeps over Taehyun’s face before he’s laughing and dismissing the whole thing with a wave of his hand. “But as it happens, I am dating Mino, and quite happily, so that scenario is all but impossible.”
He lays a hand, by coincidence or design, on Mino’s leg, giving his thigh a light squeeze, while his free hand moves to flick ash into an empty beer can.
The next question belongs to Taehyun. “How do you even know who Seungyoon is?”
Seungyoon was their neighbor’s nephew, having moved in two weeks ago and taking over Mrs. Kim’s old place at the end of the hall, feeding her cat and watering her plants while she spent a few months traveling the world. Word spread around the building the week previous when Seungyoon had run into some other tenants when he was moving in.
“Oh, we saw this new guy lurking around in the building-”
“He wasn’t lurking,” Jinwoo admonishes his boyfriend while folding his own cards. “We met him in the hallway. He seemed very nice.” It isn’t surprising, this description of the new resident of their hall. Jinwoo considers everyone to be very nice.
Curious, it is Taehyun who responds next. “I haven’t met him yet, but Mino said he might be a musician.”
“I mean, I haven’t had the chance to talk to him much, but the guitar case in his hand seemed a dead giveaway,” Mino clarifies. "He does seem like a polite kid."
“And very straight,” Seunghoon slurs around his lollipop. Next to him, Jinwoo nods solemnly.
And so it was that Kang Seungyoon was allowed to be in possession of a rather sweet and polite disposition, and declared to be, regrettably, heterosexual.
“Right,” Jinwoo says, content to let that be the last word on the topic. He claps his hands together and asks brightly. “Now, who would like some more chips? Ice cream?”
And just like that, the tension in the room breaks, and if anyone notices the pinched expression on Mino’s face, they do well not to mention it.
It is only later, when they’re both getting ready for bed, Taehyun sliding in between crisp sheets and Mino in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt, that Taehyun speaks up.
“It doesn’t mean anything, you know. It was just a question. Only a game.”
Mino’s only tell is the slight pause his fingers take before pulling the fabric away from his chest and tossing it into the hamper. His reply is simple and clear, delivered with a quick tilt of his lips that might have passed for a smile before walking into the bathroom and closing the door softly behind him.
“I know.”
////
With one final sweep of his hair, Seunghoon had followed Mino into the dim bar-if it could really even be called that. It was more a gathering of mismatched tables and chairs strategically placed around a raised slab of concrete that the bar’s employees insisted was a stage. Peeling paint, a shoddily constructed bar top, cheap liquor, and wonky stools rounded out the space, creating the ideal bar for sleep-deprived college students short on cash.
It was not normally the kind of place that Mino and Seunghoon liked to frequent, preferring dance clubs, social mixers hosted by their fraternity, and the occasional purely academic networking event. Dingy, makeshift bars with no name, no prices, and no real addresses weren’t exactly their scenes. Subconsciously, Seunghoon ran a hand through his hair while Mino tugged on the hem of his respectable, but rather dull, plaid shirt.
And yet, the pair found themselves in this bar for two reasons: the first, Seunghoon had recently found out that the boy in his finance class, the very one he’d been harboring a rather obvious and embarrassing crush on since the beginning of the semester, tended the bar on the weekends, and the second, Mino’s all-time favorite musicians were not only in town but also performing a free show for college students in said nameless bar.
All in all, it made for a promising night.
Quickly scanning the area, Seunghoon was easily able to find Jinwoo’s angelic face, pushing through the throng of people already congregating in the small space with Mino at his heels. It was still rather early for the Friday evening show, but Seunghoon had insisted upon their timely arrival, stressing the importance of being able to chat Jinwoo up at the bar prior to the evening’s rush. So Mino had unceremoniously been pulled from his desk an entire hour earlier than he had planned, his term paper all be abandoned as he was shoved into the shower. Meanwhile, Seunghoon had walked into Mino’s closet to pick out his outfit for the evening. They had spent about minutes arguing over Seunghoon’s choice of wardrobe and the appropriateness of paisley-Mino eventually winning-but as he swept his eyes over the casual attire of those around him, he lamented not going with Seunghoon’s picks.
Both Mino and Seunghoon managed to drag two stools to the bar, where Jinwoo was waiting, a generous and patient smile on his face. Introductions were made, handshakes were exchanged, drinks were ordered and delivered, and then Mino was promptly forgotten as Seunghoon tried to, and succeeded in, monopolizing nearly all of Jinwoo’s attention.
Not that Mino much minded. The beer in his hand was cold and crisp, his seat, while a bit on the wobbly side, was perfectly situated to give him a prime sightline of the stage. He felt a little shiver of excitement snake down his back. He couldn’t believe in just a few hours he’d be seeing his favorite group perform before his very eyes. He began to drum his fingers against the rough grain off the bar top in anticipation.
Taking another sip of his beer, Mino glanced at his roommate, and unequivocal best friend since the start of freshmen year, try to land the guy of his dreams. It was actually quite entertaining.
“This seat taken?”
Mino raised his eyes from the rim of his glass to find a stranger at his elbow, looking expectantly down at him. The tall stranger wore his jeans ripped-and paired with a black jacket-his hair blonde and falling across his forehead in that style that was all false nonchalance, and his gaze sharp and discerning.
“Well?” The stranger spoke again, eyebrow lifting.
“N-no,” Mino cleared his throat. “No. It’s all yours.”
The stranger nodded exactly once before dropping into the empty stool next to Mino, their legs bumping. He leaned over and tried to catch Jinwoo’s eye.
“Oh, hey, Taehyun,” Jinwoo smiled warmly when he finally noticed, and recognized, the new arrival. “What will it be today?”
“That depends. Are you still off limits?” Taehyun’s words were ripe with suggestion and not a little flirtation. Jinwoo laughed in good humor and shook his head, his white teeth flashing.
From the corner of his eye, Mino could see Seunghoon's eyes narrow as a knowing, nearly intimate look passed between the bartender and the newcomer. Observing the scene unfolding before him, Mino grabbed at his glass, tipping the contents into his mouth with eager enthusiasm only to end up sputtering and reaching for the damp napkin on the counter. Wiping his mouth and muttering an apology, Mino looked up and found that he had earned the attention of three sets of eyes.
At his elbow, Taehyun’s eyes were sparking in amusement. He dragged his long fingers across his bottom lip as his gaze flickered over Mino in interested appraisal. Instantly, Mino looked away, wishing he hadn’t finished his drink because his hands were longing to do something.
Taehyun leaned in. “Let me buy you a drink.”
It wasn’t a request. He was so close Mino could feel his breath kiss his cheek.
Mino swallowed, forcing himself to stay put and not retreat. “Uh…”
Smirking, Taehyun leaned back but kept staring at Mino, calling over his shoulder. “Hey Jinwoo, a refill here for…”
His words hung heavy in the air.
“Mino,” Seunghoon volunteered from behind Mino’s back. “You can call him Mino.”
“Right.” A slow smile spread across Taehyun’s face, “Mino.”
It was the first time that Mino thought his rather common and ordinary name sounded, well, sensual. Despite himself, he flushed.
Luckily, Jinwoo appeared in front of him, setting down a new glass of the amber liquid, froth spilling slightly over the rim. Jinwoo looked expectantly at Taehyun.
“And I’ll have whatever Mino is having, please.”
It took Mino a moment, too long of a moment, really, to realize that the stranger-no-that Taehyun had just bought him a drink. He stared at the tall glass, fumbling for the proper words to use when one finds themselves in the situation of receiving unsolicited drinks from a stranger.
Jinwoo tilted his head. “You sure? You’re not usually one for beer, I thought.”
“I’m open to new things,” Taehyun redirected his gaze, shooting Jinwoo yet another meaningful glance and adding in a low tone, “As you well know.”
The corner of Jinwoo’s mouth flicked up. “Beer it is.”
Mino was fairly certain that the choking noise behind him was coming from Seunghoon.
After Jinwoo had deposited the requested drink in front of him, Taehyun turned his attentions back to Mino. “Well, Mino,” Taehyun spoke, all honeyed words and pink lips. “Should we toast?”
Mino’s hand was heavy on the bar top. Glancing at his companion, who was smiling brightly up at him, he felt himself give way. This didn’t mean anything-didn’t have to be more than he let it. He reached for his drink, wrapped his fingers around its smooth curve.
“To being young, handsome, and hopefully, laid.”
Clinking glasses, Mino gave Taehyun his first laugh of the evening. And Taehyun looked absolutely delighted.
“You can call me Taehyun,” he offered, dipping his finger into the foam sitting at the top of his beer, and bringing it to his lips. A pink tongue came to lick the froth from his fingertip. If Mino were more naïve he would have passed it off as an innocent incident, but he knew better. He had a feeling Taehyun didn’t do anything by accident.
“Thank you, Taehyun, for this,” he gestured to his half empty glass. “It was nice of you.”
Taehyun leaned in again, resting his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow perched on the bar top. “So, what brings you here tonight?” he asked, eyes once more flicking down Mino’s body. “I take it that it’s your first time at this bar?”
Mino glanced down at his pressed pants and collared shirt, feeling all the more out of place now that someone had noticed how much he stuck out.
“That obvious, huh?” He was smiling.
“Only a little bit,” Taehyun replied, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Then he leaned in even closer, his lips brushing the shell of Mino’s ear as he whispered. “But give it an hour and everyone will be too drunk to notice.”
Hearing this, Mino couldn’t help but laugh.
Suddenly aware of how close they were, the words rushed out of Mino’s mouth. “Uh, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.”
“Is that an invitation?”
Mino almost fell out of his chair.
“Relax, I was kidding,” Taehyun laughed and waved him away while Mino was certain his face was an unbecoming shade of red. He scrambled off his stool, eager to make a quick exit.
“Unless you want me to be serious.”
Mino, once again, stopped in his tracks, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “Um, Taehyun-”
Taehyun laughed again, exposing his teeth as he tossed his head back in mirth. “Again, I was just kidding.”
And this time he let Mino leave without another comment.
Mino didn’t really think that Taehyun was serious about following him into the restroom, but then, just as he pushed the door to the men’s restroom open, he registered rapid footsteps coming up just behind him. In the next second, he found himself being forcefully shoved into the restroom, the noise of the door being slammed shut and locked echoing off the walls in the small space.
When Mino turned around, the last person he expected to corner him in a restroom was Seunghoon, who was staring at him with a wicked gleam in his eye.
“Hoon?” He stared in confusion. “What the hell are you-”
“Let’s talk, Mino.”
“What? This couldn’t have waited?”
“Mino, please,” Seunghoon began excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Mino knew that his friend was only seconds away from doing a little dance. It had always been Seunghoon’s default to express his happiness or excitement through the movement of his body.
“That guy likes you. I think you should go for it.”
“By that guy, I’m assuming you mean Taehyun.”
“Yes, him,” Seunghoon replied in exasperation, over emphasizing his vowels. “This could be good for you. I know you’re still hung up over the one that got away, but honestly, how long do you plan on keeping that up?”
Mino bristled, feeling attacked and not understanding why Seunghoon was choosing to bring his failed romances up here, of all places.
“I am not still hung up on anybody, Hoon. I told you that I’m over it.”
Seunghoon only nodded his head. “Yes, well, you could be more over it if you dated someone. Someone who is clearly interested in you. Someone tall. With blonde hair. Someone with a penchant for black clothing. Hm…where could we find such a person, I wonder.”
“I’m seriously not having this conversation with you right now.” And with that Mino turned away and walked to the furthest urinal to do his business.
“Fine, if you don’t want to date him, don’t.”
Mino gasped when Seunghoon appeared at his elbow. “Jesus, fuck, Seunghoon, get away from me!”
Someone knocked on the door.
“All I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be all angst-ridden romance. Something tells me Taehyun isn’t looking for commitment,” Seunghoon said pointedly.
“Why do you care so much about this?”
The knocking turned into banging on the door.
“Because I can tell you’re interested in him!” Seunghoon’s tone revealed that the thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And because I am your friend, I know that you’re going to suppress whatever part of you that wants to do a tongue dance with our blonde friend out there. And because I am your friend, I am trying to convince you not to do exactly that.”
Mino stood there gaping under the fluorescent lighting in the restroom of that small, nameless bar.
“I’m not saying you should be reckless. But do I think you should loosen up and give this guy a chance? Yes, absolutely,” Seunghoon was looking him with something akin to pity in his eyes.
Sighing, Mino moved toward the sink to wash his hands.
“Talk to him. Enjoy his smiles and his company. If you want to kiss him, assuming he wants to kiss you back, do it. If you both decide you want to do more than kiss, then do it.”
Mino flushed. “And if I decide I don’t want anything more than conversation?”
“Then you shake hands and go home alone at the end of the night,” Seunghoon shrugged his shoulders. “Give him a chance. Really, it’s been ages since you’ve even looked twice at someone. You could use the practice.”
“This is nothing wrong-I don’t need the practice, Hoon!” he sputtered.
There was now shouting accompanying the banging.
Seunghoon only looked at him pointedly. “If you say so.”
“I don’t know how you get me to do half of the things you do,” Mino sighed again as he tossed the wadded up paper towels in his hands into the trash. “Or why I ever listen to you to begin with.”
Triumphant, Seunghoon grinned widely, slapping a hand on Mino’s back. “You won’t regret this.”
“I think I already do.”
Mino finally unlocked the door, swinging it open to reveal a line of people three deep, and a one very flushed gentleman who took one look at Mino and Seunghoon and pushed hard past their shoulders.
“I hope you two bastards wiped the place down at least,” he grumbled.
So that was how Mino had ended up buying the next round of drinks for himself and Taehyun, while Seunghoon trailed after Jinwoo when the bartender when out for his break. It had been over the course of this third glass that Mino realized, after Taehyun toned down the thinly-veiled come-ons, that his companion wasn’t half bad.
Actually, he wasn’t bad at all.
Taehyun was clearly attractive, perhaps not in the traditional sense, but as Mino’s eyes roamed over him once more, he couldn’t help but think that Taehyun’s unconventional looks were what made him so interesting to look at.
He quietly watched as Taehyun’s eyes sparkled as he described, in vivid animation and a proud and indulgent grin on his face, some story about his cats of all things. Mino thought that between the childlike adoration of his pets and the smudged eyeliner, there was obviously a lot more to Taehyun than he had initially thought.
Mino was intrigued, and after another round of drinks were placed in front of them- complete with a conspiratorial wink from Jinwoo- conversation flowing freely between their lips, he found himself not at all opposed to knowing more about the man staring at him over the rim of his glass.
It was another half hour before Seunghoon came strutting up to the bar, goofy smile plastered on his face, and promptly announced that the next round of drinks was on him. Mino was about question Seunghoon’s rather odd behavior (as well as his whereabouts because he hadn’t even seen Seunghoon leave), but he found he didn’t have to when Jinwoo appeared behind the bar not a moment later, looking a bit dazed. Glowing, but definitely dazed.
It didn’t take an astronaut to figure out the cause of Seunghoon’s good mood, and Mino graciously accepted the cloudy concoction his friend thrust into his hand. Even Taehyun got a drink, and he smirked behind his glass as Seunghoon leaned into him and pronounced him not a bad guy at all and Mino could definitely do worse. In fact, he has done worse.
Mino had to drag Taehyun away, bringing them to stand against the far side of the bar, Seunghoon’s cackling laughter echoing behind them.
“So you’ve done worse than me, eh?” Taehyun turned to him, a teasing smile on his lips. Mino swallowed. Taehyun, he decided, had a rather nice looking mouth.
But maybe that was the alcohol talking.
“Seunghoon likes to tease, I wouldn’t read into it too much,” Mino found himself saying.
Taehyun pouted, those lips he was admiring turning downwards and it was only then that Mino realized how close together they were, once again. That he was still holding onto Taehyun’s elbow.
Mino let go.
Clearing his throat and looking around the room, Mino saw that a decently sized crowd had gathered, filling all the nooks and spaces of the small bar, and he could feel the beat from the sound system pulse beneath his feet. Turning back, he gasped to find that Taehyun had inched even closer than before, his warm body pressed up against the length of his side. Mino took in a shaky breath even as he willed himself not to cower. Taehyun only pressed closer, lips brushing against his ear when he whispered.
“What to get some air?”
Mino stood in the dark alley behind that nameless bar, watching Taehyun play with the lighter in his hands, flame bursting forth seemingly from his fingertips before extinguishing a moment later. The movement of Taehyun’s wrist, moving rhythmically in the night air was as mesmerizing as it was hypnotic. Mino stared in a kind of daze, as if he’d been put under a spell, but then again he had consumed a fair amount of alcohol this evening and it felt as if it was all catching up to him. And quickly.
But as Mino looked at Taehyun’s face, half in shadows and half aglow from the cigarette hanging from his lip and the flickering light of the flames he commanded in his hands, the thought occurred to him that perhaps alcohol had nothing to do with it.
Whatever it was.
“So, you and Jinwoo.”
It was supposed to be a question, but it came out as something between a statement and an accusation.
In the darkness, Taehyun’s eyebrow rose. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” he smirked.
“No,” Mino replied, trying not to slur his words and act casual. “I’m not. I’m just making an observation.”
“Really, an observation. Me and Jinwoo-that’s what you’re going with?”
Mino scoffed, affronted at being so unceremoniously called out. “I’m asking for a friend.”
Taehyun laughed again, a deep, incredulous laugh, and Mino felt his cheeks burn. “I think we should stop dancing around the elephant in the room, don’t you?” he said as he pushed off the wall he was leaning on. Crushing his cigarette under his boot, he approached with measured steps, blonde hair glinting under the lamplight, every bit beautiful in the rising darkness.
“Jinwoo and I are, and have never been more than, friends,” he spoke slowly, his voice full of purpose as he drew closer to Mino. “As much as I hate to divulge the rather boring and unremarkable history between us, I have a feeling it would be to my advantage to make an exception.”
“Your advantage?” There was a definite wobble in his words.
“Jinwoo was my resident advisor when I was lived in the dorms my first year.” Taehyun shrugged, a small smile pulling on the corner of his lips. “I like to tease and he’s always been good at tolerating me. But don’t worry, he seems, I think, quite taken with your friend. Or, at least, he hopes to be.”
Taehyun stopped right in front of him. Close enough to touch.
“And besides he’s not the one I’m interested in.”
Mino felt himself holding his breath as he watched Taehyun reach out to finger the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t want to waste your time and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t waste mine. I like you, Mino, and am very interested in knowing you better. But if you’re not interested in that, well, consider this your ticket out. Just say the word and I’ll leave you alone to babysit your friend and Jinwoo, no hard feelings.”
Mino couldn’t help it. “You want to know me better?”
And there was that smirk again, but softer now. “Yes,” Taehyun whispered, closing the gap between them. He pressed his lips chastely against Mino’s jaw.
“In the biblical sense,” he smiled against Mino’s skin when he didn’t pull away.
In fact, it probably came as more of a surprise to Mino when he looked down to find his hands on Taehyun’s waist, thumbs digging into his hipbones.
“Mino.”
“Hm?”
“If you don’t want this, tell me now.”
For a moment, Seunghoon flashed behind Mino’s eyelids, his words taunting and lingering in his ears. Give him a chance. This could be good for you.
Mino didn’t answer. Instead, he closed his eyes and kissed Taehyun.
Heated kisses in the alley turned into heavy petting in the backseat of the taxicab en route to Taehyun’s apartment. If Mino had any reservations or hesitation, all of that fell to the way side under Taehyun’s guiding hands, the warmth of his mouth, and the encouraging sighs he couldn’t quite keep silent.
Shameless groping in the taxicab turned into Taehyun clawing at Mino’s shoulders while Mino panted Taehyun’s name like a prayer against his neck.
A night of pleasure between the sheets of Taehyun’s bed turned into several nights of ecstasy found with each other between their beds. When Seunghoon knocked on Mino’s door to deliver the economy term paper he owed, it was a sleep-deprived and shirtless roommate that finally pulled the door open. Mino accepted the paper dangling from Seunghoon’s fingers, but not the smug look on his face as he tried to peer into the room over Mino’s shoulders.
Mino closed the door on Seunghoon’s shit-eating grin.
////
A series of regular dates between classes-spent both in and out of bed-turned into an honest-to-god relationship. Without quite meaning to, Mino and Taehyun happily ended up in a committed and exclusive relationship.
But that’s not to say that they didn’t have their share of issues.
Taehyun was an art major a year below him, at least that was his major when they had first met. A semester later it was music, which more made sense since Taehyun had grown up playing the piano and was, in his own words, fucking brilliant at it.
Taehyun was always talking on and on about the revolutionary works of so and so, the masterpieces of this person, the unrecognized talent of that person, the tragic and unfortunate end of an artistic genius whose life was ended far too soon. Honestly, Mino found it difficult to keep up.
He had tried, however. He had tried to follow along when Taehyun played music and pointed out all the stylist choices that made it beautiful and brought tears to his eyes. Mino accompanied him to recitals and shows and stood in the circle with Taehyun’s friends and classmates as they discussed the musicality of the evening’s performances. Mino had even borrowed a few books from the library on music theory, having confessed his predicament to the librarian, who patted his hand and gave him a look of sympathy along with this rather large stack of books.
It wasn’t until Taehyun cornered him in the library one evening while he was trying to discretely study up on the differences between baroque and romantic musical compositions. Taehyun had snuck up behind him and pulled the book from his hands. Ever so calmly, Taehyun took the seat next to him and thumbed through the text, eyebrow raised, while Mino wiggled uncomfortably in his seat.
“I didn’t think you liked baroque pianists,” was all he said.
“I don’t,” Mino replied. “Er, I don’t think I do. Honestly, I’m not even sure I know what a baroque pianist sound like to say if I like them or not, but I know you like them so I want to learn.”
Taehyun closed the book. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know I don’t,” Mino reached to take the book back, and Taehyun let him. “I want to.”
He could feel the weight of Taehyun’s gaze, considering him. When Mino finally met his eyes, the expression on his boyfriend’s face was thoughtful.
“You’re very sweet,” Taehyun had said. “And I appreciate that you would be so willing to like the same things I like. Really, I am. I know that all of this doesn’t come easy to you.”
“Or at all,” Mino mumbled.
Taehyun’s smile was sweet. “Right, or at all.”
He reached over and took Mino’s hand in his. Taehyun was all gentleness when he spoke again. “It’s okay to not know all of this stuff. It’s more than okay. I won’t like you any less.”
Mino pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. “But don’t you want me to be able to relate to you with this?”
“Do you want me to be able to relate to you by learning about corporate management?”
“That’s different,” Mino retorted.
“I don’t see how,” Taehyun said simply, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs in an attempt at being laid-back in what felt like the beginning of an argument.
“It is,” he insisted.
Taehyun studied him for a long moment, head tilted in contemplation. “Well, then I suppose I’ll just check out few books on accounting, economics, and-what else are you taking-business ethics?”
“Quit it.”
Ignoring his boyfriend, Taehyun rose from his chair. “But I want to be able to relate to you, and this seems the only way.”
Taehyun had made it around the table and was nearly to the book stacks when Mino’s voice stopped him.
“When we go out to see a new performance, I know the precise moment when you hear something that you think is brilliant, or something that moves you, or something that makes you think about the world differently,” Mino revealed, voice soft.
When Taehyun turned around, Mino wasn’t looking at him. “Mino-”
“You get this look,” he smiled fondly. “This look like you’ve suddenly come alive. Like this is the thing you’ve been waiting for your entire life.”
“It starts there, with your eyes,” he said, gesturing vaguely. “They light up and you’re all wonder and awe. It spreads too. Across your cheeks and lips, pulling the left side of you mouth up just a tad more than the right side. And then it moves throughout your body, and you always start shaking one of your legs. The right one if you’ve heard something you really like.”
Mino laughed lightly, like it was some intimate secret.
“But it is when you’re confused by a piece. When you don’t know what to make of it and you can’t decide whether you hate it or not. You sit so perfectly still that I often wonder if you’re even still breathing.”
Taehyun was speechless, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.
“I can’t help but want to be a part of that,” Mino finished, hand coming to rest in his lap. “I want to be able to stand next to you and share that moment with you. To feel close to you in that moment of wonder.”
It only took Taehyun three steps before he was kneeling in front of him. Reaching out, he gently cradled Mino’s face between his palms, tilting his chin to find his gaze.
“Really, Mino,” Taehyun brushed his thumbs across Mino’s cheeks. “I love you for so many reasons, and even more for wanting to do this for me. But knowing about music or classical composers it isn’t everything. And I wouldn’t trade you being able to list off ten classical pianists over the you as you are.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” Taehyun’s smile was beautiful as he leaned in and dropped a kiss on Mino’s nose.
Mino couldn’t help the smile that blossomed across his face, and then it was there, that beautiful shimmer in Taehyun’s eyes that let him know all the words he said were true.
"So..we're okay, then?" Taehyun asked, pulling back.
Mino nodded, smiling and resting his forehead against the other's.
"Yeah, we're okay."
////
Nearly three years after their fortunate meeting, Taehyun and Mino remained quite happily together.
Mino forgave himself for not knowing the music, yet dutifully showed up on the elbow of every event Taehyun showed even the littlest bit of interest. Over time, he was even able to pick up on a few things, dazzling Taehyun with his elementary knowledge. In the meantime, he finished up his business degree and took up an internship his senior year. While Taehyun finished up his music degree, Mino ended accepting a job at a start up before eventually transferring to Seunghoon’s company and working in the finance department.
Their relationship had progressed naturally.
When they had first met, Taehyun was all mystery and allure-the kind of boy Mino could only fantasize about as a teenager when he was in bed at night and still trying to convince himself that he was going through a phase and that he really did desire his girlfriend. That their relationship wasn’t just based on a honest affection that stemmed from a lifelong tenure as very good friends.
It was noting at all like his relationship with Taehyun, who, from nearly the first minutes of their acquaintance, stirred desire in his gut and sparked heat in his veins. And the longer he was around Taehyun, the further Mino fell. Taehyun had been rough around the edges, sharp, and living with an intensity that he had never known. In short, Taehyun had represented everything that Mino longed for and admired but never thought could be possible for a guy like him. And after his first taste of the forbidden, Mino was addicted.
And while Taehyun never lost his appeal, over the years their relationship changed from raw passion to one that was more sustainable. Taehyun had graduated with high marks, and while he had a few offers for work-not to mention an opportunity to tour with a prestigious orchestra-he had put aside his aspirations for greatness, choosing instead to use his music degree to teach children at a music academy. He played small clubs and bars here and there when he felt like it.
Friday nights were reserved for cards and beer with Seunghoon and Jinwoo, while Saturday mornings were for farmers’ markets and walks in the park. Weekdays were marked by quick kisses before catching trains, by home-cooked meals and folding laundry over an open bottle of wine, by snuggles before bed, and, on occasion, for nights having perfectly polite sex with the lights off.
Mino had no cause for complaint.
Except.
Except that sometimes, just sometimes, Mino catches a look on Taehyun’s face when he thinks he’s alone or unnoticed. It barely lasts for a moment but the flash of longing on his face gives Mino the impression of a beautiful, wild animal trapped in a cage of domesticity. And it makes Mino feel like his captor, someone whose love of this beautiful, wild thing has forced them into a space he never should be. Mino is afraid that his love is breaking Taehyun’s spirit-the very one he covets and admires in the same breath.
He is terrified that he already has.
PART TWO