Oct 19, 2005 00:32
Bah it is way past my bedtime but I have a ridiculous amount of stuff on my mind. I am reading this book called Falling Angels by Barbara Gowdy for a course and it is really getting to me. I won't get into details about what the book is about because that is irrelevant to this post but let's just say that i can't put it down, Something resonates within me in this book and I am getting so emotional reading it. The writing is so raw and hurtful that I am welling up with a fresh batch of tears right now as I think about it. Why do I have to be this way? Everything with me is like night and day- I feel way too much. When I hurt it is a searing pain and when I am happy I am on top of the world. I feel completely out of control of my feelings right now, at this moment, as I write this. I both hate and love that I get so wrapped up in mundane, every day things. I cry over ridiculous things, such as novels I have to read for a course and seeing pictures of my brother and sister. As much as he may not know it (he is certainly putting on this tough guy act, as he has reached the age where he has discovered women) that kid is my world and I would stop a bullet for him. Frig, there I go again. For some reason I am particularly emotional tonight, maybe it's PMS, I don't know. All I know is all I want to do is crawl into someone's arms and cry.
Is that weird?