Maybe it's time.
EDIT: You can find my new LJ at miss-psychosis
I added people as friends who update or comment on my journal once in a blue moon. If for some reason, I left you out, feel free to comment somewhere.
You know, this journal was started when I began high school, and now that I'm done with it... I dunno, maybe I should make a new LJ. A new chapter in my life, maybe. You all can see how decisive I am.
A lot of things happened in those four years. Let's go through and recap:
2004 was the year I met Lucy. 4 years later I find out she completely betrayed me and abused my trust. I don't even know who she is, and I feel so foolish for getting so wrapped up in her. Still, she (he?) was a good friend and probably kept me from killing myself several times. But seriously... good riddance.
2004 was my "Hot Topic" phase. Thank Satan I'm through with that (it didn't last long, BTW) Oh, that's right, I was still in my bisexual phase then, too. It was about 2005 that I was like, "Dude, you are totally a dyke."
And oh yes, can't forget Laura. What a debacle. I don't know where she is right now, she could still be in California. Hell, she could be married with children for all I know. Still... there are many things I would say to her now if she decided to come back. I still think about her from time to time. It amuses me reading posts from November 04 when I was just SOOOO INFATUATED! *shrugs* I think everyone goes through that at least once. Really, though, those four months were the best time of my life. They still are. I'll be very lucky indeed if I find someone that makes me as deliriously happy as she did. *snickers* Here's an entry from March 16th, 2005, five days after she flipped out at me (yeah, good way to ruin a birthday):
"I would like all of you to know that Laura is a SELF-CENTERED, STUBBORN, EVIL FUCKING BITCH. I am so fucking sick of her. I'm tired of being drawn to her. I'm tired of being abused by her. I'm tired of her making me think everything is my fault. News flash, honey: I'M HUMAN. I MAKE MISTAKES. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. She disgusts me. I'm getting her out of my mind, once and for all. I don't need her." Damn, reading through the archives, March was just one big roller coaster! Nice to know things haven't changed.
Yep, went through the "I hate everyone" phase. Only got out of that like, uh, last Thursday.
lmao. December 1st, 2004, I wrote: "I've finally completely out of my depression. ABOUT DAMN TIME!" BWAHAHAHA sorry sweetie, you've got a long road ahead of you!
Oh, that's right! My internet time was limited to 1 hour at that time! Oh man, so glad the 'rents stopped doing that.
A big theme in this LJ seems to be posting the lyrics to songs that kinda sorta hint at my feelings but not really. You know, because talking about your feelings is for GIRLS! Oh. Wait.
April 2005 was the month of Becca-hate.
June 2005: Lucy drama.
September 15th, 2005. I question Lucy's sincerity for the first time and have a major panic attack over it.
Sep 20: A fabulous quote from Becca to me: "if you didn't hate me, I'd totally bang you."
In October of that year was my first trip to a shrink (I still see her occasionally, by the way)
December 05 my grandpa died. I think I deleted all the entries related to that.
January 22nd 2006: I attempt a reconciliation with Laura. It fails.
February 06 I relapse yet again.
March 06 I stop taking Prozac.
May 06: I try going out with Becca. That lasted, what, four months? Until she freaked out and blamed it on me, anyway.
June 24th 2006: I come out to my mom, she is not surprised.
July 19th, 2006: If you can't tell, almost the entire post is about how my trust for Lucy was beginning to fail. http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/2006/07/19/
August 9th, 2006: I go to GenCon! Huzzah.
September 15th, 2006: I meet Phoebe! Wait, who is that again? Ha. I KEED, I KEED!
October 14th, 2006: Went to see Evanescence at the Rave in Milwaukee. Worst. Concert. Ever.
November 1st, 2006: A rant about high school. I'm glad that's over. Also a confession.
January 1st, 2007: I'm pretty sure I failed all these resolutions.
Late January, early February: Becca and Kim have a fiasco. I, thankfully, am merely a spectator.
just a reminder of why I'm moving to the Netherlands: http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/135598.html#cutid1
Late February: I try polyphasic sleeping and figure out that it's really not compatible with my schedule.
March 11th, 2007: I have my first real birthday party!
Late March thru April: The Germans are here
April 10th, 2007: Lucy falls off the face of the internet.
June 2007: I go to Germany. BIG FAILURE. Also, my dog dies.
July 2007: I get put on Welbutrin and become a porn addict (just kidding)
September 2007: I stop volunteering for the shelter. I also get a dog! His name is George.
October 2007: This is a fun post: http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/2007/10/20/
Also: I go to see Nightwish in concert! Best day evar!
December 2007: Start working at Mounds. Angst over cute coworker. I basically ruin Christmas. Probably the all-around worst month I've ever had; culminating in my Dec 29th post. Yeah, Ashley tried to kill herself again, but shhh, don't tell anyone.
Which brings us to today. Yes, I think I will start a new LJ, but leave this one up when I feel like being nostalgic. But really, it's so fucking embarrassing.
I added people as friends who update or comment on my journal once in a blue moon. If for some reason, I left you out, feel free to comment somewhere.
You know, this journal was started when I began high school, and now that I'm done with it... I dunno, maybe I should make a new LJ. A new chapter in my life, maybe. You all can see how decisive I am.
A lot of things happened in those four years. Let's go through and recap:
2004 was the year I met Lucy. 4 years later I find out she completely betrayed me and abused my trust. I don't even know who she is, and I feel so foolish for getting so wrapped up in her. Still, she (he?) was a good friend and probably kept me from killing myself several times. But seriously... good riddance.
2004 was my "Hot Topic" phase. Thank Satan I'm through with that (it didn't last long, BTW) Oh, that's right, I was still in my bisexual phase then, too. It was about 2005 that I was like, "Dude, you are totally a dyke."
And oh yes, can't forget Laura. What a debacle. I don't know where she is right now, she could still be in California. Hell, she could be married with children for all I know. Still... there are many things I would say to her now if she decided to come back. I still think about her from time to time. It amuses me reading posts from November 04 when I was just SOOOO INFATUATED! *shrugs* I think everyone goes through that at least once. Really, though, those four months were the best time of my life. They still are. I'll be very lucky indeed if I find someone that makes me as deliriously happy as she did. *snickers* Here's an entry from March 16th, 2005, five days after she flipped out at me (yeah, good way to ruin a birthday):
"I would like all of you to know that Laura is a SELF-CENTERED, STUBBORN, EVIL FUCKING BITCH. I am so fucking sick of her. I'm tired of being drawn to her. I'm tired of being abused by her. I'm tired of her making me think everything is my fault. News flash, honey: I'M HUMAN. I MAKE MISTAKES. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. She disgusts me. I'm getting her out of my mind, once and for all. I don't need her." Damn, reading through the archives, March was just one big roller coaster! Nice to know things haven't changed.
Yep, went through the "I hate everyone" phase. Only got out of that like, uh, last Thursday.
lmao. December 1st, 2004, I wrote: "I've finally completely out of my depression. ABOUT DAMN TIME!" BWAHAHAHA sorry sweetie, you've got a long road ahead of you!
Oh, that's right! My internet time was limited to 1 hour at that time! Oh man, so glad the 'rents stopped doing that.
A big theme in this LJ seems to be posting the lyrics to songs that kinda sorta hint at my feelings but not really. You know, because talking about your feelings is for GIRLS! Oh. Wait.
April 2005 was the month of Becca-hate.
June 2005: Lucy drama.
September 15th, 2005. I question Lucy's sincerity for the first time and have a major panic attack over it.
Sep 20: A fabulous quote from Becca to me: "if you didn't hate me, I'd totally bang you."
In October of that year was my first trip to a shrink (I still see her occasionally, by the way)
December 05 my grandpa died. I think I deleted all the entries related to that.
January 22nd 2006: I attempt a reconciliation with Laura. It fails.
February 06 I relapse yet again.
March 06 I stop taking Prozac.
May 06: I try going out with Becca. That lasted, what, four months? Until she freaked out and blamed it on me, anyway.
June 24th 2006: I come out to my mom, she is not surprised.
July 19th, 2006: If you can't tell, almost the entire post is about how my trust for Lucy was beginning to fail. http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/2006/07/19/
August 9th, 2006: I go to GenCon! Huzzah.
September 15th, 2006: I meet Phoebe! Wait, who is that again? Ha. I KEED, I KEED!
October 14th, 2006: Went to see Evanescence at the Rave in Milwaukee. Worst. Concert. Ever.
November 1st, 2006: A rant about high school. I'm glad that's over. Also a confession.
January 1st, 2007: I'm pretty sure I failed all these resolutions.
Late January, early February: Becca and Kim have a fiasco. I, thankfully, am merely a spectator.
just a reminder of why I'm moving to the Netherlands: http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/135598.html#cutid1
Late February: I try polyphasic sleeping and figure out that it's really not compatible with my schedule.
March 11th, 2007: I have my first real birthday party!
Late March thru April: The Germans are here
April 10th, 2007: Lucy falls off the face of the internet.
June 2007: I go to Germany. BIG FAILURE. Also, my dog dies.
July 2007: I get put on Welbutrin and become a porn addict (just kidding)
September 2007: I stop volunteering for the shelter. I also get a dog! His name is George.
October 2007: This is a fun post: http://winkybunion1.livejournal.com/2007/10/20/
Also: I go to see Nightwish in concert! Best day evar!
December 2007: Start working at Mounds. Angst over cute coworker. I basically ruin Christmas. Probably the all-around worst month I've ever had; culminating in my Dec 29th post. Yeah, Ashley tried to kill herself again, but shhh, don't tell anyone.
Which brings us to today. Yes, I think I will start a new LJ, but leave this one up when I feel like being nostalgic. But really, it's so fucking embarrassing.