(no subject)
i feel like i am in a box. and that box has like 20 machines attached to it at all different location. and each machine is either sucking me toward it or repelling me away from it with incredible force.
maybe that makes no sense. but this whole grad school application process is killing me. im questionning my interests. yes. bottom line. 100%. no doubts. i want my phd in clinical psychology. but what specifically do i want to study? for a while it was adults but now i think its kids. not itty bitty ones but like.. teenagers. i love my internship and thats influencing me more than maybe it should. maybe if my internship was with adults i would like adults or if it was with people with schizophrenia i would like schizophrenia. but as it is... adolescents? and i dont want people with major hard core problems. so maybe kids with behavioral problems like the delinquents that i work with really would be good. and ultimately i dont think i really care about counseling i do actually really enjoy research and would love to teach.. so academia seems like the route for me. but ahh. getting recommendations and getting them in time? figuring out where i want to go?! i spend HOURS each day on different schools websites. i wasted so much time looking up professors for what used to be my topic of interest so with my change of heart comes a whole new search. one guy replied to my email to say yes he will accept one student this year and he typically gets 50 applicants. 1/50 ?! hahahahahah funny. i mean i wouldnt accept me. i meet the requirements, gres are good, grades are pretty good, have done research. but nothing super fab. and i cant even put my interests into words. personal statement? can i just state, "take me i promise ill work hard and ill make myself be interested in whatever you want me to be interested in i dont really care"
the penguins suck.
this cold weather is intolerable. i cant handle the cold. why am i the ultimate wuss?
i wish northern people would move south so i could live with non-southern prissy people in a warmer climate. but not too warm. there needs to be snow on christmas. how about cold = nice flurries and an inch. dont need more than that. but dont want less. and dont want it to last too long.
i took the www.findyourspot.com survey. on page 7 out of 8 in the corner it was like, "this town famous for leap the dips is currently one of your highest scoring spots" haaaaaaaa. luckily by the end of page 8 it wasnt anywhere to be found in my top like 40 towns. i dont know how that happened. i also dont know how they ignored my dislike for intense cold and told me to move to hartford and providence. i watched noel - which is a bad movie but paul walker is unbelievably sexy - and i think it might have taken place in hartford. its a sign. but they dont have a hockey team anymore. and i dont care about later, i care about now. about grad school. and that is def not an option for grad school.
i cant wait for dec 1 (bc yea thats the freaking ridic early deadline for clinical apps) then im free... until i find out i got in nowhere. and then become a drifter. i decided that would actually suit me well. i dont like to stay in one place. i dont like routine. drifter for me. YEASSS.
maybe that makes no sense. but this whole grad school application process is killing me. im questionning my interests. yes. bottom line. 100%. no doubts. i want my phd in clinical psychology. but what specifically do i want to study? for a while it was adults but now i think its kids. not itty bitty ones but like.. teenagers. i love my internship and thats influencing me more than maybe it should. maybe if my internship was with adults i would like adults or if it was with people with schizophrenia i would like schizophrenia. but as it is... adolescents? and i dont want people with major hard core problems. so maybe kids with behavioral problems like the delinquents that i work with really would be good. and ultimately i dont think i really care about counseling i do actually really enjoy research and would love to teach.. so academia seems like the route for me. but ahh. getting recommendations and getting them in time? figuring out where i want to go?! i spend HOURS each day on different schools websites. i wasted so much time looking up professors for what used to be my topic of interest so with my change of heart comes a whole new search. one guy replied to my email to say yes he will accept one student this year and he typically gets 50 applicants. 1/50 ?! hahahahahah funny. i mean i wouldnt accept me. i meet the requirements, gres are good, grades are pretty good, have done research. but nothing super fab. and i cant even put my interests into words. personal statement? can i just state, "take me i promise ill work hard and ill make myself be interested in whatever you want me to be interested in i dont really care"
the penguins suck.
this cold weather is intolerable. i cant handle the cold. why am i the ultimate wuss?
i wish northern people would move south so i could live with non-southern prissy people in a warmer climate. but not too warm. there needs to be snow on christmas. how about cold = nice flurries and an inch. dont need more than that. but dont want less. and dont want it to last too long.
i took the www.findyourspot.com survey. on page 7 out of 8 in the corner it was like, "this town famous for leap the dips is currently one of your highest scoring spots" haaaaaaaa. luckily by the end of page 8 it wasnt anywhere to be found in my top like 40 towns. i dont know how that happened. i also dont know how they ignored my dislike for intense cold and told me to move to hartford and providence. i watched noel - which is a bad movie but paul walker is unbelievably sexy - and i think it might have taken place in hartford. its a sign. but they dont have a hockey team anymore. and i dont care about later, i care about now. about grad school. and that is def not an option for grad school.
i cant wait for dec 1 (bc yea thats the freaking ridic early deadline for clinical apps) then im free... until i find out i got in nowhere. and then become a drifter. i decided that would actually suit me well. i dont like to stay in one place. i dont like routine. drifter for me. YEASSS.