To know that some heart would cherish my name
OMG, Friday. *wraps it around her shoulders like a blanket* There has been far too much panic this week for my taste. I mean, I'm already stressed about the semester in general, I don't need more panic on top of that.
Sunday, I got an email confirmation for an order I didn't make. That was the first instance of heart-skippy, stomach-swoopy feeling. (Thankfully, it was just an order for someone who has the same name as me, but with an added 'e', and she'd mistyped her email.)
Wednesday, it was the lack of email from my advisor that got me unsettled. The student services office is on the fourth floor, and I seriously had to stop in the stairwell for a couple minutes because I was this close to crying. Mmm, panic attacks. (Student services assured me that I won't be unregistered, but I am still mad at my advisor because she so could have told me it was okay, and saved me a fourth-floor panic attack.)
Last night, I got an email from the Study Abroad Office, saying "Hi, you did not turn in the forms that were due within 10 days of your initial acceptance. Please do so or you will be kicked out" which resulted in another heart-skippy, stomach-swoopy bout, particularly since I couldn't do anything until this morning since the office was closed. (Called this morning, and they did have the forms, they just hadn't been entered as received in the online system thanks to the incompetent moron who I handed them in to back in February.) (Also, this makes two instances of FAIL on the part of online systems at my school. In one week!) (But I am still going to GERMANY so it is all okay.)
It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to check my email. Because I'm as much afraid of emails that are there (scary order confirmations and missing paperwork) as ones that aren't (advisor replying to anything at all). *meep*
Work is also stressful this month because we have an advisory committee coming at the end of the month and a million things to do. I am now going to be working half-days on Mondays, because apparently even when I'm not directly asked, I still can't say no.
Just. No more panic, please. (Besides the anticipated paper-writing panics, of course.)
*pulls the Friday!blanket over her head*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I am dead, if some chastened one
Seeing the "item," or hearing it said
That my play is over and my part done
And I lie asleep in my narrow bed--
If I could know that some soul would say,
Speaking aloud or silently,
"In the heat and the burden of the day
She gave a refreshing draught to me";
Or, "When I was lying nigh unto death
She nursed me to life and to strength again,
And when I laboured and struggled for breath
She smoothed and quieted down my pain";
Or, "When I was groping in grief and doubt,
Lost, and turned from the light o' the day,
Her hand reached me and helped me out
And led me up to the better way";
Or, "When I was hated and shunned by all,
Bowing under my sin and my shame,
She, once in passing me by, let fall
Words of pity and hope, that came
Into my heart like a blessed calm
Over the waves of the stormy sea,
Words of comfort like oil and balm,
She spake, and the desert blossomed for me";
Better, by far, than a marble tomb--
Than a monument towering over my head
(What shall I care, in my quiet room,
For headboard or footboard when I am dead?);
Better than glory, or honours, or fame
(Though I am striving for those to-day),
To know that some heart would cherish my name
And think of me kindly, with blessings, alway.
~ "When I Am Dead" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sunday, I got an email confirmation for an order I didn't make. That was the first instance of heart-skippy, stomach-swoopy feeling. (Thankfully, it was just an order for someone who has the same name as me, but with an added 'e', and she'd mistyped her email.)
Wednesday, it was the lack of email from my advisor that got me unsettled. The student services office is on the fourth floor, and I seriously had to stop in the stairwell for a couple minutes because I was this close to crying. Mmm, panic attacks. (Student services assured me that I won't be unregistered, but I am still mad at my advisor because she so could have told me it was okay, and saved me a fourth-floor panic attack.)
Last night, I got an email from the Study Abroad Office, saying "Hi, you did not turn in the forms that were due within 10 days of your initial acceptance. Please do so or you will be kicked out" which resulted in another heart-skippy, stomach-swoopy bout, particularly since I couldn't do anything until this morning since the office was closed. (Called this morning, and they did have the forms, they just hadn't been entered as received in the online system thanks to the incompetent moron who I handed them in to back in February.) (Also, this makes two instances of FAIL on the part of online systems at my school. In one week!) (But I am still going to GERMANY so it is all okay.)
It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to check my email. Because I'm as much afraid of emails that are there (scary order confirmations and missing paperwork) as ones that aren't (advisor replying to anything at all). *meep*
Work is also stressful this month because we have an advisory committee coming at the end of the month and a million things to do. I am now going to be working half-days on Mondays, because apparently even when I'm not directly asked, I still can't say no.
Just. No more panic, please. (Besides the anticipated paper-writing panics, of course.)
*pulls the Friday!blanket over her head*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I am dead, if some chastened one
Seeing the "item," or hearing it said
That my play is over and my part done
And I lie asleep in my narrow bed--
If I could know that some soul would say,
Speaking aloud or silently,
"In the heat and the burden of the day
She gave a refreshing draught to me";
Or, "When I was lying nigh unto death
She nursed me to life and to strength again,
And when I laboured and struggled for breath
She smoothed and quieted down my pain";
Or, "When I was groping in grief and doubt,
Lost, and turned from the light o' the day,
Her hand reached me and helped me out
And led me up to the better way";
Or, "When I was hated and shunned by all,
Bowing under my sin and my shame,
She, once in passing me by, let fall
Words of pity and hope, that came
Into my heart like a blessed calm
Over the waves of the stormy sea,
Words of comfort like oil and balm,
She spake, and the desert blossomed for me";
Better, by far, than a marble tomb--
Than a monument towering over my head
(What shall I care, in my quiet room,
For headboard or footboard when I am dead?);
Better than glory, or honours, or fame
(Though I am striving for those to-day),
To know that some heart would cherish my name
And think of me kindly, with blessings, alway.
~ "When I Am Dead" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~