Fanfic (AA/YGO): Absolution
Title: Absolution
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Divine/Apollo
Disclaimer: Someone who is not me owns Ace Attorney and Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Warnings: religious themes
Summary: Apollo confesses his naughty thoughts to the priest, who offers to relief him of his demons.
Note: For the "drabble game" prompt "confessional". I loved doing the whole "believe in god" thing, it was so much fun to write. I don't want to offend anyone who believes in god in some way or another of course. I adher to a healthy agnosticism myself.
Apollo was a good Catholic boy. He followed the ten commandments, he said his prayers at night before sleep, and he went to church every Sunday at nine o'clock sharp, where after mass he confessed his sins to the priest.
He never had anything big to confess. Sometimes he thought mean things about other kids at the orphanage (though he always regreted it), or a swear word escaped him (but he tried to watch his language), and once he'd been so angry that he'd used the lord's name in vain.
But he really tried to be good. The nuns who took care of him and the other orphans took special care to teach them the word of God, so they'd grow up right, even though they had no parents. Apollo didn't want to disappoint them, and he prayed that god would keep him on the right path.
This time was a bit different though. He'd tried to be good all week, but despite his best efforts, he had sinned. He'd been too scared to tell the nuns, and frankly too embarrassed. He knew that succumbing to the sins of flesh was wrong, and yet last week he had masturbated for the first time. He was fifteen now, he knew that the devil was using his body to tempt him, and that he had to stay strong and faithful to god to resist him, but that night his hand had felt so very good on himself, and before he knew it he'd stained his sheets with sinful fluids.
He'd gotten up quietly, washing away the traces of his misdeed, feeling utterly miserable.
But his sin was even greater than that. Not only had he been touching himself in such a way, no, his thoughts while doing so had been of a man!
The bible said: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind, it is abomination”, Leviticus 18:22. He'd silently repeated that sentence all week. He'd crossed himself and prayed about a million Hail Marys, punishing himself by working harder and skipping meal times.
All to no avail. The sinful thoughts came back every night, torturing him even as he tried to resist.
Oh, and if only the object of his desire were just any man...
The following Sunday found Apollo dragging his feet when confession approached. He dawdled at the end of the line, afraid of what would happen when he confessed his greatest sin. Keeping it a secret was not an option, of that he was certain, under no circumstances could he leave a sin so fundamental unconfessed. Surely the priest would know what to do, he'd free Apollo of the devil's influence and make the evil thoughts go away once and for all!
Finally there were no other confessors left and Apollo entered the confessional. He felt calmer imediately, knowing that this was the place where one could let go of one's sins and be free and good in the face of god.
The little window between himself and the other half of the confessional was opened, leaving only a thin wooden grate one could technically see through.
He crossed himself. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”, Apollo said hastily, almost stumbling over his words. He wanted this to be over as fast as possible. “It has been seven days since my last confession.”
There was faint shuffeling on the other side. “And what sins have you commited, son?”
Apollo took a deep breath. He knew the priest who was now listening to him, he was young and Apollo had always liked his sermons. He just knew how to talk about the holy writ and to make it come alive. God didn't seem to be an abstract concept to him, but a real thing that was ever present in all of their lives. Apollo believed that he could trust him.
“Father, I have...”, he swallowed, “I have touched myself inappropriately.”
Silence for a moment, then: “And you knew beforehand, that it was a sin?”
“Yes.”, Apollo admitted, feeling so very ashamed of himself.
“That is quite grave a deed.”
“There's more!”, Apollo interrupted before the priest could declare his punishment. “I did it because... I mean... while I was... doing that, I was...”, he folded his hands and pressed them against his forehead. “Father, I was thinking about a man...!”
There was no answer for quite a while this time. Apollo was praying harder than ever before. He wanted to be a good boy, he wanted to live by god's law and he tried so hard to never break a rule! If he ever atoned for this sin, he swore he'd never let himself be tempted by the devil again! He'd stay firm on his path so that one day, he'd go to heaven and not burn in hell for eternity.
“Son.”
He startled, having grown used to the silence around him.
“Y-yes, Father?”
“Were you, by any chance, thinking about a particular person?”
Apollo became very still. This was probably the most sinful part of his offence. His voice was weak, much unlike his usual 'chords of steel', when he said: “I was thinking about you, Father Divine.”
There had been no order to do penance by saying prayers this time.
Father Divine had instead asked him to his private quarters, which were located in a small cottage by the church. Apparently his sin was too significant and too abnormal to be discussed in the confessional. Of course! He'd entertained sexual thoughts about a man of god, and had masturbated to them! He walked closely behind Father Divine, blinking to hold back tears. He prayed he hadn't condemned his soul to eternal suffering already.
As the door was closed behind him, his worries broke free.
“Father Divine, will I burn in hell for what I did? I am so sorry, please believe me! I want to ask god and Jesus for forgiveness, I promise I will never do something like that ever again!”, this time the tears did come, try as he might to stop them.
But Father Divine didn't yell at him or anything of the sort. Instead he knelt in front of Apollo, took his hands away from his face where he'd been attempting to hide his tears, and carefully wiped the wet stains off his cheeks.
“Be calm, son, and listen. God will not forsake such a good boy as you are because of a single sin, grave as it may be.”
Apollo hick-uped. “R-really?”
Father Divine nodded. “He watches you, always, through the eyes of his loyal subjects on earth, like me. He knows how hard you try.”, he smiled encouragingly, and Apollo felt compelled to mimic it. “There. However, I do see the devil's touch on you. He wants to pull you away from god, by making you give in to the desires of your flesh.”, he said sternly.
Apollo gasped in shock. He didn't want the devil to get his soul! “What do I have to do, Father?”
Divine stroked his brown hair lovingly. “We will banish the devil from your body. Like an exorcism. Do you know what that is?”
“It's what you do to get rid of evil spirits!”
“That's right. Good boy. Now, I will do that for you, but you have to do exactly as I say. Can you do that, son?”
Apollo nodded emphatically. “Yes, Father, I'll be all right!”
As long as Father Divine was by his side, he could do anything, Apollo thought confidently.
Father Divine took Apollo to a room in his basement. There was only a bed and a small table there, the latter held a huge amount of candles that Divine lit at once, because there were no windows and hence no daylight to see by.
“Undress, please, and lie on the bed.”, he instructed and Apollo hurried to obey. Soon he'd be free of the devil again, and everything would be well!
He was a bit cold, but he figured that feeling uncomfortable wasn't so bad compared to what he'd done. It was all part of his penance.
“First, I will shake up the evilness that rests in your mortal flesh.”, Divine explained. In his hand was a cane, like the teachers used at school, and Apollo knew how much it could hurt. “Roll onto your stomach. And don't mind the sounds you'll make. It's the evil spirits coming out, so don't hold back.”
And with that Apollo's penance began for real. He couldn't have stayed silent had he tried! The cane came down on his back, his ass and his thighs, again and again until he thought his skin had to be red and raw and bloody. He dug his fingers into the rough sheets like claws, praying between each blow.
“Our father who art in heaven - ah! - hallowed be thy name - ooh! - thy kingdom come...”
He repeated it over and over, although at some point the words began to blur together, until finally, finally, the rain of pain on his back stopped - “...and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”, he was breathing heavily and his cheeks were once more wet with tears, soaking the sheets beneath him. Shivers ran through his body and he wasn't able to do anything about it. He hoped it was the evil spirits that were leaving him, hopefully for good.
“Do you feel better, son?”. Divine asked, a cool hand on his forehead.
Apollo nodded shakily. “Yes, F-Father Divine...”
He saw the Father's smile through a haze of tears, and a chill ran down his spine, though he couldn't say why.
“Good. I will now give you something. Something holy, to ward off the devil.”
Apollo wondered what he was talking about. A rosary maybe, or a copy of the bible?
But then the priest was slipping off his robe, and suddenly he was above him, hovereing over his hurting back. What was happening?
“Here is your punishment:”, the Father whispered against Apollo's ear, “Your dreams will continue, stronger and more vivid than before. And you must try to resist, do you understand?”
Apollo merely whimpered, because he didn't understand. He wanted those dreams to go away, he didn't want to be tempted any longer!
“This is what it could be like!”
A cool, slick liquid on his ass, then inside of him and instead of fighting it a sinful moan escaped his sore throat, just like the noises he'd made that night when he was by himself.
Then something bigger found its way inside of him, and it hurt, like the burning of his back, but worse and so much more intimate. He'd always assumed that this was a place no-one was supposed to touch, and now Father Divine was forcing him open, revealing the needs of his body that he'd denied up until now.
It was painful, yes, but it also felt good, and Apollo burned with shame because of the pleasure he derived from his punishment. This was wrong, he wasn't supposed to enjoy it!
He started to pray desperately once more, begging god for his guidance and love even in the face of his sin... but the last thing he heard was an eerie laughter that thankfully overshadowed his own lustful moans. He was lost to sin, he truly was, and there might not be a way out of it.
He awoke slowly, his tortured body burning up against the cool air of the cellar.
“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
Apollo opened his eyes to warm candle light and the kind smile of Father Divine.
The priest went on: “Go in peace, and sin no more.”
The boy smiled. He was so grateful for all Father Divine had done for him. He'd be faithful in the future, he just knew he could do it.
“Thanks be to god.”, he whispered.
~End.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Divine/Apollo
Disclaimer: Someone who is not me owns Ace Attorney and Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Warnings: religious themes
Summary: Apollo confesses his naughty thoughts to the priest, who offers to relief him of his demons.
Note: For the "drabble game" prompt "confessional". I loved doing the whole "believe in god" thing, it was so much fun to write. I don't want to offend anyone who believes in god in some way or another of course. I adher to a healthy agnosticism myself.
Apollo was a good Catholic boy. He followed the ten commandments, he said his prayers at night before sleep, and he went to church every Sunday at nine o'clock sharp, where after mass he confessed his sins to the priest.
He never had anything big to confess. Sometimes he thought mean things about other kids at the orphanage (though he always regreted it), or a swear word escaped him (but he tried to watch his language), and once he'd been so angry that he'd used the lord's name in vain.
But he really tried to be good. The nuns who took care of him and the other orphans took special care to teach them the word of God, so they'd grow up right, even though they had no parents. Apollo didn't want to disappoint them, and he prayed that god would keep him on the right path.
This time was a bit different though. He'd tried to be good all week, but despite his best efforts, he had sinned. He'd been too scared to tell the nuns, and frankly too embarrassed. He knew that succumbing to the sins of flesh was wrong, and yet last week he had masturbated for the first time. He was fifteen now, he knew that the devil was using his body to tempt him, and that he had to stay strong and faithful to god to resist him, but that night his hand had felt so very good on himself, and before he knew it he'd stained his sheets with sinful fluids.
He'd gotten up quietly, washing away the traces of his misdeed, feeling utterly miserable.
But his sin was even greater than that. Not only had he been touching himself in such a way, no, his thoughts while doing so had been of a man!
The bible said: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind, it is abomination”, Leviticus 18:22. He'd silently repeated that sentence all week. He'd crossed himself and prayed about a million Hail Marys, punishing himself by working harder and skipping meal times.
All to no avail. The sinful thoughts came back every night, torturing him even as he tried to resist.
Oh, and if only the object of his desire were just any man...
The following Sunday found Apollo dragging his feet when confession approached. He dawdled at the end of the line, afraid of what would happen when he confessed his greatest sin. Keeping it a secret was not an option, of that he was certain, under no circumstances could he leave a sin so fundamental unconfessed. Surely the priest would know what to do, he'd free Apollo of the devil's influence and make the evil thoughts go away once and for all!
Finally there were no other confessors left and Apollo entered the confessional. He felt calmer imediately, knowing that this was the place where one could let go of one's sins and be free and good in the face of god.
The little window between himself and the other half of the confessional was opened, leaving only a thin wooden grate one could technically see through.
He crossed himself. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”, Apollo said hastily, almost stumbling over his words. He wanted this to be over as fast as possible. “It has been seven days since my last confession.”
There was faint shuffeling on the other side. “And what sins have you commited, son?”
Apollo took a deep breath. He knew the priest who was now listening to him, he was young and Apollo had always liked his sermons. He just knew how to talk about the holy writ and to make it come alive. God didn't seem to be an abstract concept to him, but a real thing that was ever present in all of their lives. Apollo believed that he could trust him.
“Father, I have...”, he swallowed, “I have touched myself inappropriately.”
Silence for a moment, then: “And you knew beforehand, that it was a sin?”
“Yes.”, Apollo admitted, feeling so very ashamed of himself.
“That is quite grave a deed.”
“There's more!”, Apollo interrupted before the priest could declare his punishment. “I did it because... I mean... while I was... doing that, I was...”, he folded his hands and pressed them against his forehead. “Father, I was thinking about a man...!”
There was no answer for quite a while this time. Apollo was praying harder than ever before. He wanted to be a good boy, he wanted to live by god's law and he tried so hard to never break a rule! If he ever atoned for this sin, he swore he'd never let himself be tempted by the devil again! He'd stay firm on his path so that one day, he'd go to heaven and not burn in hell for eternity.
“Son.”
He startled, having grown used to the silence around him.
“Y-yes, Father?”
“Were you, by any chance, thinking about a particular person?”
Apollo became very still. This was probably the most sinful part of his offence. His voice was weak, much unlike his usual 'chords of steel', when he said: “I was thinking about you, Father Divine.”
There had been no order to do penance by saying prayers this time.
Father Divine had instead asked him to his private quarters, which were located in a small cottage by the church. Apparently his sin was too significant and too abnormal to be discussed in the confessional. Of course! He'd entertained sexual thoughts about a man of god, and had masturbated to them! He walked closely behind Father Divine, blinking to hold back tears. He prayed he hadn't condemned his soul to eternal suffering already.
As the door was closed behind him, his worries broke free.
“Father Divine, will I burn in hell for what I did? I am so sorry, please believe me! I want to ask god and Jesus for forgiveness, I promise I will never do something like that ever again!”, this time the tears did come, try as he might to stop them.
But Father Divine didn't yell at him or anything of the sort. Instead he knelt in front of Apollo, took his hands away from his face where he'd been attempting to hide his tears, and carefully wiped the wet stains off his cheeks.
“Be calm, son, and listen. God will not forsake such a good boy as you are because of a single sin, grave as it may be.”
Apollo hick-uped. “R-really?”
Father Divine nodded. “He watches you, always, through the eyes of his loyal subjects on earth, like me. He knows how hard you try.”, he smiled encouragingly, and Apollo felt compelled to mimic it. “There. However, I do see the devil's touch on you. He wants to pull you away from god, by making you give in to the desires of your flesh.”, he said sternly.
Apollo gasped in shock. He didn't want the devil to get his soul! “What do I have to do, Father?”
Divine stroked his brown hair lovingly. “We will banish the devil from your body. Like an exorcism. Do you know what that is?”
“It's what you do to get rid of evil spirits!”
“That's right. Good boy. Now, I will do that for you, but you have to do exactly as I say. Can you do that, son?”
Apollo nodded emphatically. “Yes, Father, I'll be all right!”
As long as Father Divine was by his side, he could do anything, Apollo thought confidently.
Father Divine took Apollo to a room in his basement. There was only a bed and a small table there, the latter held a huge amount of candles that Divine lit at once, because there were no windows and hence no daylight to see by.
“Undress, please, and lie on the bed.”, he instructed and Apollo hurried to obey. Soon he'd be free of the devil again, and everything would be well!
He was a bit cold, but he figured that feeling uncomfortable wasn't so bad compared to what he'd done. It was all part of his penance.
“First, I will shake up the evilness that rests in your mortal flesh.”, Divine explained. In his hand was a cane, like the teachers used at school, and Apollo knew how much it could hurt. “Roll onto your stomach. And don't mind the sounds you'll make. It's the evil spirits coming out, so don't hold back.”
And with that Apollo's penance began for real. He couldn't have stayed silent had he tried! The cane came down on his back, his ass and his thighs, again and again until he thought his skin had to be red and raw and bloody. He dug his fingers into the rough sheets like claws, praying between each blow.
“Our father who art in heaven - ah! - hallowed be thy name - ooh! - thy kingdom come...”
He repeated it over and over, although at some point the words began to blur together, until finally, finally, the rain of pain on his back stopped - “...and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”, he was breathing heavily and his cheeks were once more wet with tears, soaking the sheets beneath him. Shivers ran through his body and he wasn't able to do anything about it. He hoped it was the evil spirits that were leaving him, hopefully for good.
“Do you feel better, son?”. Divine asked, a cool hand on his forehead.
Apollo nodded shakily. “Yes, F-Father Divine...”
He saw the Father's smile through a haze of tears, and a chill ran down his spine, though he couldn't say why.
“Good. I will now give you something. Something holy, to ward off the devil.”
Apollo wondered what he was talking about. A rosary maybe, or a copy of the bible?
But then the priest was slipping off his robe, and suddenly he was above him, hovereing over his hurting back. What was happening?
“Here is your punishment:”, the Father whispered against Apollo's ear, “Your dreams will continue, stronger and more vivid than before. And you must try to resist, do you understand?”
Apollo merely whimpered, because he didn't understand. He wanted those dreams to go away, he didn't want to be tempted any longer!
“This is what it could be like!”
A cool, slick liquid on his ass, then inside of him and instead of fighting it a sinful moan escaped his sore throat, just like the noises he'd made that night when he was by himself.
Then something bigger found its way inside of him, and it hurt, like the burning of his back, but worse and so much more intimate. He'd always assumed that this was a place no-one was supposed to touch, and now Father Divine was forcing him open, revealing the needs of his body that he'd denied up until now.
It was painful, yes, but it also felt good, and Apollo burned with shame because of the pleasure he derived from his punishment. This was wrong, he wasn't supposed to enjoy it!
He started to pray desperately once more, begging god for his guidance and love even in the face of his sin... but the last thing he heard was an eerie laughter that thankfully overshadowed his own lustful moans. He was lost to sin, he truly was, and there might not be a way out of it.
He awoke slowly, his tortured body burning up against the cool air of the cellar.
“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
Apollo opened his eyes to warm candle light and the kind smile of Father Divine.
The priest went on: “Go in peace, and sin no more.”
The boy smiled. He was so grateful for all Father Divine had done for him. He'd be faithful in the future, he just knew he could do it.
“Thanks be to god.”, he whispered.
~End.