Book: Blood Noir (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series)
...and that series seriously needs a new title. There're more lycantropes in it than vampires and those don't even get hunted most of the time, more like the vampires do the hunting...! Erm, right. Blood Noir!
Blood Noir was announced to be to Jason what 'Micah' was to Micah, instead it became to Jason what 'Micah' should have been to Micah. Get it? To say it was "better than Micah" would be redundant, because 'Micah' sucked, bad, and Blood Noir definitely didn't. Except for that first chapter. XD I like to read books aloud, either the whol ething or just the dialogue, with pronounciation and everything, but every time I try to read that one line I crack up (related rant, see here). Back then I wrote the following: "Chapter ends with them deciding to have sex in the living room; who wants to bet that before they get to do it, something happens and stops them, probably when they're mostly naked?" I was WRONG! And believe it or not, the sex was nice. I mean, I LIKED it. ...yeah, okay, I liked it because they were doing to D/s thing right, and because Nathaniel makes a damn fine top.
Plot? What Plot? Oh, THAT plot. Right. So Jason's all down because a) his girlfriend dumped him and b) his father is dieing of cancer. Also c) his father thinks he's gay and d) they hate each other. So Nathaniel comes up with the REALLY BRIGHT idea (*hits him with irony*) that Jason could just take Anita with him and present her as his girlfriend. I mean, taking Anita home to meet your parents, what could possibly go wrong? Rethorical question. Now since all other boyfrinds are conveniently busy with something else, Anita and Jason make their way down to wherever his family lives in Jean-Claude's private jet.
Then there's some plot going on, plot that is kinda funny and partly stupid, but mostly fun to read. Stuff happens before Jason and Anita get to the former's dad in the hospital. They still hate each other, everyone still thinks Jason's gay. But of course his dad kinda likes Anita (because he's a male character).
I should probably explain the plot, let's see... Keith Summerland is having a wedding in town. Keith is a guy from Jason's time in high school and they look eerily alike. Keith's father is planning to run for president. The media is EVERYWHERE and Jason gets harrassed a lot because everyone mistakes him for Keith. Also, vampires try to kill Keith and therefor Jason. There's a bacholorette party with male strippers. Who are a vampire (Master of teh City of Vegas) and a lycantrope (white tiger) respectively.
Then the Mother of all Darkness returns, messed with Anita' ardeur, there's an orgy including two tigers and Jason, but we don't get details because no one remembers anything afterwards. There's metaphysical tiger and wolf stuff going on, but mostly tiger. Richard drops by and more metaphysical shit happens. Richard-shit happens. Jason-being-mistaken-for-that-Keith-guy-shit happens. The end.
So you see, while it wasn't epic it was actually good, possibly BECAUSE it didn't attempt to be epic. But it was full of problems that Edward could have solved, yet there was no Edward. I DEMAND there be Edward in the next book!
Blood Noir was announced to be to Jason what 'Micah' was to Micah, instead it became to Jason what 'Micah' should have been to Micah. Get it? To say it was "better than Micah" would be redundant, because 'Micah' sucked, bad, and Blood Noir definitely didn't. Except for that first chapter. XD I like to read books aloud, either the whol ething or just the dialogue, with pronounciation and everything, but every time I try to read that one line I crack up (related rant, see here). Back then I wrote the following: "Chapter ends with them deciding to have sex in the living room; who wants to bet that before they get to do it, something happens and stops them, probably when they're mostly naked?" I was WRONG! And believe it or not, the sex was nice. I mean, I LIKED it. ...yeah, okay, I liked it because they were doing to D/s thing right, and because Nathaniel makes a damn fine top.
Plot? What Plot? Oh, THAT plot. Right. So Jason's all down because a) his girlfriend dumped him and b) his father is dieing of cancer. Also c) his father thinks he's gay and d) they hate each other. So Nathaniel comes up with the REALLY BRIGHT idea (*hits him with irony*) that Jason could just take Anita with him and present her as his girlfriend. I mean, taking Anita home to meet your parents, what could possibly go wrong? Rethorical question. Now since all other boyfrinds are conveniently busy with something else, Anita and Jason make their way down to wherever his family lives in Jean-Claude's private jet.
Then there's some plot going on, plot that is kinda funny and partly stupid, but mostly fun to read. Stuff happens before Jason and Anita get to the former's dad in the hospital. They still hate each other, everyone still thinks Jason's gay. But of course his dad kinda likes Anita (because he's a male character).
I should probably explain the plot, let's see... Keith Summerland is having a wedding in town. Keith is a guy from Jason's time in high school and they look eerily alike. Keith's father is planning to run for president. The media is EVERYWHERE and Jason gets harrassed a lot because everyone mistakes him for Keith. Also, vampires try to kill Keith and therefor Jason. There's a bacholorette party with male strippers. Who are a vampire (Master of teh City of Vegas) and a lycantrope (white tiger) respectively.
Then the Mother of all Darkness returns, messed with Anita' ardeur, there's an orgy including two tigers and Jason, but we don't get details because no one remembers anything afterwards. There's metaphysical tiger and wolf stuff going on, but mostly tiger. Richard drops by and more metaphysical shit happens. Richard-shit happens. Jason-being-mistaken-for-that-Keith-guy-shit happens. The end.
So you see, while it wasn't epic it was actually good, possibly BECAUSE it didn't attempt to be epic. But it was full of problems that Edward could have solved, yet there was no Edward. I DEMAND there be Edward in the next book!