Two Magicians and one Inquisitor (3)
Title: Two Magicians and one Inquisitor
Chapter 3: Desire and Denial
Fandom: Subeta (my pets)
Pairing: Ernst/Eduard
Warnings: slash, incest (nothing graphic this time, sorry)
Comment: Eduard's self-control is far stronger than his brother's. Ernst can't take it anymore. And Eyk? Chapter 5 should see him again. :)
Standing before each other after so many years felt unreal. Two pairs of blue eyes examined the man in front of them, unsure, suddenly, determined yet hesitating. Ernst remembered Eduard's hair to be longer, now it was too short to be curly (which it was, just a little), just long enough to grab a hand full. At the same time Eduard found Ernst's long black waves of hair unusual but still beautiful, seeing them open and not bound to a pigtail. They had both grown, of course, Eduard more so than Ernst and they were about the same size, the older brother being slightly more muscled, filled out.
Finally Ernst held out his hand and Edward took it, feeling more than a little awkward. „I missed you.“, the younger said honestly, „I...“, being speechless was rare for him, but it was probably adequate, given the situation.
„I thought I was hearing things, when that guy shouted your name, in the fire.“, Ernst began, his eyes quivering, not knowing where to look first. For him it was only then that he understood what exactly his brother meant to him, always had, and it came to him with the power such revelations usually have. „Let's not part again, yes, Eduard?“
„I promised my teacher not to run off with you.“, Eduard answered, serious but with a hint of amusement, „But I don't plan to be gone tomorrow.“
This was obviously not enough of an assurance for Ernst, who grabbed his brother's hand firmer, looking stern. „Not ever.“, he objected, „It's been long enough, surely our studies have prospered in any way possible that mom and dad could imagine!“, he was angry at the thought of losing Eduard again, especially when it dawned on him why exactly they had been seperated and he shook his head in defiance.
Eduard tried to take a step back, but Ernst would have none of it so he only sighed. „Don't tell me you never realized untill now?“
He didn't get any further because a furious Ernst interrupted him at once, „What do you mean, untill now? Did you know? Did they?“
„Of course they did. They saw it and put and end to it, before it even began. What else should they have done?“, Eduard should have known that Ernst would not take it calmly, he had always been impulsive; then again, he used to be the same.
Ernst leg go of Eduard's hand only to gently lay it on his shoulder. „It was all in vain though.“, he smiled helplessly, „I still... I love you, Eduard.“
The white haired man turned around hastily. He wanted to say that it's wrong to love one's brother, that maybe they shouldn't have met, anything to discourage Ernst, but the only thing that came out was: „Me, too.“
He hadn't anticipated the embrace he was drawn into the very moment he had spoken or the warm chest he was pulled against. „Then all is well! They cannot devide us again, we're grown now.“
Eduard allowed himself to stay close to his brother for just another breath, then he decidedly disengaged himself from Ernst. „No.“, he was satisfied with the sound of his voice, „For heaven's sake, Ernst, we're brothers, you don't get more related.“
„So what!?“
„Don't 'so what' me.“, he shot back, „I'm more than happy to have you back, but not for that, and in the long run I will stay with my teacher till I'm of age. Don't you see that our parents were right in doing what they did?“, Ernst had to see reason, their love had no future.
The black haired young man, mere minutes ago full of hope and anticipation, now went completely limp, looking at his feet rather than his brother. So what if they were related, it wasn't like they could produce offspring, right? It could be their secret, know one would ever have to know, no one but them. He had never loved anyone like this before and never would again, of that he was certain.
Left alone for the night the brothers had gone to bed quietly. Ernst stared at his brother from across the room, knowing full well the he wasn't asleep yet; even after almost five years he knew that he hadn't yet relaxed, making it clear by his turned backside that he didn't want to talk. Ernst however did.
„How long will you stay?“, he asked, forcing himself to leave the other topic alone for now.
Eduard didn't answer at once, obviously not expecting the question. „I don't know.“, he said after a while but without turning around to face his brother, „Not for long, I believe. We're not usually around so many people.“
„Then for the time being, can we stay together?“, he couldn't help but sound hopeful.
Now Eduard looked at Ernst, thinking. „Yeah, sure.“, he smiled, „I did say I missed you, didn't I? I wouldn't leave you again, just like that, not for anything in the world.“
Ernst hadn't known he had been so tense untill he let out a relieved breath. „I'm glad then. G'night, Eduard.“
„Good night.“
The bear didn't have the heart to take his student away all too quickly, and even though she claimed to have business in the area and otherwise wouldn't have stayed, neither did Ernst's teacher.
Ernst tried to adress the love topic a few times, but Eduard made it abundantly clear that he was not going to recognize their mutual feelings, at all. It was frustrating and annoying and with every day that passed and in which he wasn't allowed to say what he wanted to say more than anything his passion built up in him, like it did when he was denied magic for too long. He hadn't known it untill he was cut off from it again: he wanted to touch his brother, intimately if his dreams were any indication. How could Eduard remain so cold when he admittedly felt the same? It was beyond Ernst's understanding.
He didn't want to lose his brother's company though, if it was all he could have, for anything in the world, so he held back, reminding himself every other minute that he'd have to learn to live with it, and that it was better than not seeing him at all.
He made it through a whole month and another week before he broke.
They shared a lazy evening in their room, both covered by a blanket for winter was approaching and it was getting chilly, Ernst reading a book - something trivial, he couldn't quite concentrate anyway - and Eduard apparently spacing out, staring into the flames.
Ernst had read the same paragraph for the fourth time without remembering it when he slammed his book shut noisily, calling Eduard back from wherever he'd been, making him wince at the sudden sound.
„I can't stand it anymore.“, the older brother growled, standing up and kicking his blanket away.
Eduard eyed him sceptically. „Can't stand what anymore?“, he asked, praying that it wasn't what he thought it was. No such luck.
„You know damn well what I mean, don't you play innocent!“, Ernst snarled and knelt down next to his brother, „I want you!“, his expression became soft again, almost pleading. „It's getting worse, every day. I see you close to me and I want to reach out...“, before Eduard could flinch away Ernst had his hand in his hair, holding on to him and not caring if he hurt him right now. „...and kiss you.“
And so he did. And Eduard wanted to fight back, he really did, but the moment he felt Ernst's lips on his he wasn't in control anymore and could only respond likewise, raising his hand to Ernst's face to keep him close, flicking his tongue experimentingly against his brother's, rising to his touch.
And Ernst didn't mind, all his thoughts were instantly driven from his mind and the only important thing in the world was right in front of him, fulfilling his dreams and desires and further gureling his passion. There were hands on his face, in his hair and on his arms and chest, it was a blur of sensations, everything happened at once and much too fast for him to register.
Then they broke apart, breathing heavily. Ernst tried to go for another kiss, but a resolute hand n front of his mouth stopped him in his tracks.
„No, Ernst.“, Eduard whispered breathlessly, „Stop it, we can't...“, he fell silent when Ernst, determined more than ever, attacked his neck again, kissing and licking, not willing to give up what he had.
„I know“, he spoke between kisses, „But feels“, another kiss, „so good.“, lips and tongue on his throat, „Can't help it.“, a lick where it met his shoulder, „Please...“
Eduard craddled his brother's head against his chest, feeling like laughing and crying at the same time. „You know we can't.“, he shook his head and slowly kissed his brother's coal black curls, „I beg you, do not make it harder than you already have.“
„It hurts not to touch you.“, the older brother complained, „I feel ripped in half when you walk by and I can't have this. Don't take it away from us, Eduard.“
„But I must, if you won't.“, the younger said in an authoritative manner, unsuited for the occasion, and stood up decidedly, leaving his brother by the fire and going for a late walk.
Neither brother had taken the event well. They spoke less to each other, especially Ernst who was usually the talkactive one, and didn't seek as close a relationship as they had before, at least not on the outside. Eduard went out a lot, in search for others to ease his ache, calming his need on a basic level.
Ernst, to whom the physical level of his love hadn't occured earlier in his live, lacked such an outlet and became increasingly hard to deal with; he was restless and impatient, unwilling to concentrate on one topic for a longer time and his teacher, knowing that something was up but not what, argued with him more than they ever had.
Eduard on the other hand sought out his teacher, both for his company as for his lessons. They hadn't shared a bed in a while, but the young magician didn't have to explain his reason, it being obvious to the bear who knew his student and his situation all too well.
One day he asked him, if he wanted to leave and if spending more time away from his brother would help, but Eduard refused to let go of his brother. „It is too late for that.“, he concluded with a sad smile.
The brothers shared few relaxed moments, being happy with each other became a rare treat and even Ernst tried not to think of anything that would compromise their fragile truce, or whatever it was between them. Eduard's outer calm was a marvel to him and the idea that he might have other lovers didn't come up at all. Eduard figured that there'd be hell to pay should he ever find out, but didn't know what else to do when his craving for Ernst was as strong as Ernst's for him, if not stronger since he knew exactly what to want.
They tried not to touch at all, fearing what might happen if their hands so much as grazed. It was uncomfortable but neither of them would let go, the wish to be close too strong to be denied.
But one day it had to break, as fragile things go.
„I've never slept with anyone.“, Ernst let the sentence drop into the silent room, watching his brother's reaction closely.
It wasn't quite what he had expected; no blushing, no stammering, no hurried explanations, he didn't even look up from what he was writing when he said, „I have.“, but didn't elaborate.
Ernst angered at the lack of response. „I know. But seriously Eduard, that guy isn't even that good looking, not too mention old and hairy and... how can you?“, he finally snapped, „How can you do that? Do you love him?“
Now Eduard did look up, stern but obviously not embarassed, which had been Ernst's original intention. „Like I love you, do you mean that?“, his voice betrayed his emotion, he wasn't nearly as calm as he appeared, „No, I don't. Happy?“
Yes. „No!“, he shook his head in frustration, running his hands through his hair, messing it up. „I don't get it! I have never wanted anyone but you. I think of you all the time, I dream of you...!“, and in his dreams Eduard didn't say 'no' and didn't turn him away. „I couldn't even stand someone else touching me, I'd only be thinking of you and anyone else... it'd be wrong!“
Eduard looked down at his hands. „I think of you, every time.“, he said silently and then rushed out of the room, not looking back.
Ernst didn't follow him, but from that day on he decided that he wouldn't let others have what was his; Eduard had said so himself, if not directly. It was only him he wanted, no one else, even if he slept with them and not Ernst. He tempted Eduard on every occasion and didn't try to avoid touching and closeness at all, quite the opposite. Eduard was in for the trial of his life if he wanted to resist his brother's seduction and honestly wasn't sure how long he would last.
~End chapter three
Chapter 3: Desire and Denial
Fandom: Subeta (my pets)
Pairing: Ernst/Eduard
Warnings: slash, incest (nothing graphic this time, sorry)
Comment: Eduard's self-control is far stronger than his brother's. Ernst can't take it anymore. And Eyk? Chapter 5 should see him again. :)
Standing before each other after so many years felt unreal. Two pairs of blue eyes examined the man in front of them, unsure, suddenly, determined yet hesitating. Ernst remembered Eduard's hair to be longer, now it was too short to be curly (which it was, just a little), just long enough to grab a hand full. At the same time Eduard found Ernst's long black waves of hair unusual but still beautiful, seeing them open and not bound to a pigtail. They had both grown, of course, Eduard more so than Ernst and they were about the same size, the older brother being slightly more muscled, filled out.
Finally Ernst held out his hand and Edward took it, feeling more than a little awkward. „I missed you.“, the younger said honestly, „I...“, being speechless was rare for him, but it was probably adequate, given the situation.
„I thought I was hearing things, when that guy shouted your name, in the fire.“, Ernst began, his eyes quivering, not knowing where to look first. For him it was only then that he understood what exactly his brother meant to him, always had, and it came to him with the power such revelations usually have. „Let's not part again, yes, Eduard?“
„I promised my teacher not to run off with you.“, Eduard answered, serious but with a hint of amusement, „But I don't plan to be gone tomorrow.“
This was obviously not enough of an assurance for Ernst, who grabbed his brother's hand firmer, looking stern. „Not ever.“, he objected, „It's been long enough, surely our studies have prospered in any way possible that mom and dad could imagine!“, he was angry at the thought of losing Eduard again, especially when it dawned on him why exactly they had been seperated and he shook his head in defiance.
Eduard tried to take a step back, but Ernst would have none of it so he only sighed. „Don't tell me you never realized untill now?“
He didn't get any further because a furious Ernst interrupted him at once, „What do you mean, untill now? Did you know? Did they?“
„Of course they did. They saw it and put and end to it, before it even began. What else should they have done?“, Eduard should have known that Ernst would not take it calmly, he had always been impulsive; then again, he used to be the same.
Ernst leg go of Eduard's hand only to gently lay it on his shoulder. „It was all in vain though.“, he smiled helplessly, „I still... I love you, Eduard.“
The white haired man turned around hastily. He wanted to say that it's wrong to love one's brother, that maybe they shouldn't have met, anything to discourage Ernst, but the only thing that came out was: „Me, too.“
He hadn't anticipated the embrace he was drawn into the very moment he had spoken or the warm chest he was pulled against. „Then all is well! They cannot devide us again, we're grown now.“
Eduard allowed himself to stay close to his brother for just another breath, then he decidedly disengaged himself from Ernst. „No.“, he was satisfied with the sound of his voice, „For heaven's sake, Ernst, we're brothers, you don't get more related.“
„So what!?“
„Don't 'so what' me.“, he shot back, „I'm more than happy to have you back, but not for that, and in the long run I will stay with my teacher till I'm of age. Don't you see that our parents were right in doing what they did?“, Ernst had to see reason, their love had no future.
The black haired young man, mere minutes ago full of hope and anticipation, now went completely limp, looking at his feet rather than his brother. So what if they were related, it wasn't like they could produce offspring, right? It could be their secret, know one would ever have to know, no one but them. He had never loved anyone like this before and never would again, of that he was certain.
Left alone for the night the brothers had gone to bed quietly. Ernst stared at his brother from across the room, knowing full well the he wasn't asleep yet; even after almost five years he knew that he hadn't yet relaxed, making it clear by his turned backside that he didn't want to talk. Ernst however did.
„How long will you stay?“, he asked, forcing himself to leave the other topic alone for now.
Eduard didn't answer at once, obviously not expecting the question. „I don't know.“, he said after a while but without turning around to face his brother, „Not for long, I believe. We're not usually around so many people.“
„Then for the time being, can we stay together?“, he couldn't help but sound hopeful.
Now Eduard looked at Ernst, thinking. „Yeah, sure.“, he smiled, „I did say I missed you, didn't I? I wouldn't leave you again, just like that, not for anything in the world.“
Ernst hadn't known he had been so tense untill he let out a relieved breath. „I'm glad then. G'night, Eduard.“
„Good night.“
The bear didn't have the heart to take his student away all too quickly, and even though she claimed to have business in the area and otherwise wouldn't have stayed, neither did Ernst's teacher.
Ernst tried to adress the love topic a few times, but Eduard made it abundantly clear that he was not going to recognize their mutual feelings, at all. It was frustrating and annoying and with every day that passed and in which he wasn't allowed to say what he wanted to say more than anything his passion built up in him, like it did when he was denied magic for too long. He hadn't known it untill he was cut off from it again: he wanted to touch his brother, intimately if his dreams were any indication. How could Eduard remain so cold when he admittedly felt the same? It was beyond Ernst's understanding.
He didn't want to lose his brother's company though, if it was all he could have, for anything in the world, so he held back, reminding himself every other minute that he'd have to learn to live with it, and that it was better than not seeing him at all.
He made it through a whole month and another week before he broke.
They shared a lazy evening in their room, both covered by a blanket for winter was approaching and it was getting chilly, Ernst reading a book - something trivial, he couldn't quite concentrate anyway - and Eduard apparently spacing out, staring into the flames.
Ernst had read the same paragraph for the fourth time without remembering it when he slammed his book shut noisily, calling Eduard back from wherever he'd been, making him wince at the sudden sound.
„I can't stand it anymore.“, the older brother growled, standing up and kicking his blanket away.
Eduard eyed him sceptically. „Can't stand what anymore?“, he asked, praying that it wasn't what he thought it was. No such luck.
„You know damn well what I mean, don't you play innocent!“, Ernst snarled and knelt down next to his brother, „I want you!“, his expression became soft again, almost pleading. „It's getting worse, every day. I see you close to me and I want to reach out...“, before Eduard could flinch away Ernst had his hand in his hair, holding on to him and not caring if he hurt him right now. „...and kiss you.“
And so he did. And Eduard wanted to fight back, he really did, but the moment he felt Ernst's lips on his he wasn't in control anymore and could only respond likewise, raising his hand to Ernst's face to keep him close, flicking his tongue experimentingly against his brother's, rising to his touch.
And Ernst didn't mind, all his thoughts were instantly driven from his mind and the only important thing in the world was right in front of him, fulfilling his dreams and desires and further gureling his passion. There were hands on his face, in his hair and on his arms and chest, it was a blur of sensations, everything happened at once and much too fast for him to register.
Then they broke apart, breathing heavily. Ernst tried to go for another kiss, but a resolute hand n front of his mouth stopped him in his tracks.
„No, Ernst.“, Eduard whispered breathlessly, „Stop it, we can't...“, he fell silent when Ernst, determined more than ever, attacked his neck again, kissing and licking, not willing to give up what he had.
„I know“, he spoke between kisses, „But feels“, another kiss, „so good.“, lips and tongue on his throat, „Can't help it.“, a lick where it met his shoulder, „Please...“
Eduard craddled his brother's head against his chest, feeling like laughing and crying at the same time. „You know we can't.“, he shook his head and slowly kissed his brother's coal black curls, „I beg you, do not make it harder than you already have.“
„It hurts not to touch you.“, the older brother complained, „I feel ripped in half when you walk by and I can't have this. Don't take it away from us, Eduard.“
„But I must, if you won't.“, the younger said in an authoritative manner, unsuited for the occasion, and stood up decidedly, leaving his brother by the fire and going for a late walk.
Neither brother had taken the event well. They spoke less to each other, especially Ernst who was usually the talkactive one, and didn't seek as close a relationship as they had before, at least not on the outside. Eduard went out a lot, in search for others to ease his ache, calming his need on a basic level.
Ernst, to whom the physical level of his love hadn't occured earlier in his live, lacked such an outlet and became increasingly hard to deal with; he was restless and impatient, unwilling to concentrate on one topic for a longer time and his teacher, knowing that something was up but not what, argued with him more than they ever had.
Eduard on the other hand sought out his teacher, both for his company as for his lessons. They hadn't shared a bed in a while, but the young magician didn't have to explain his reason, it being obvious to the bear who knew his student and his situation all too well.
One day he asked him, if he wanted to leave and if spending more time away from his brother would help, but Eduard refused to let go of his brother. „It is too late for that.“, he concluded with a sad smile.
The brothers shared few relaxed moments, being happy with each other became a rare treat and even Ernst tried not to think of anything that would compromise their fragile truce, or whatever it was between them. Eduard's outer calm was a marvel to him and the idea that he might have other lovers didn't come up at all. Eduard figured that there'd be hell to pay should he ever find out, but didn't know what else to do when his craving for Ernst was as strong as Ernst's for him, if not stronger since he knew exactly what to want.
They tried not to touch at all, fearing what might happen if their hands so much as grazed. It was uncomfortable but neither of them would let go, the wish to be close too strong to be denied.
But one day it had to break, as fragile things go.
„I've never slept with anyone.“, Ernst let the sentence drop into the silent room, watching his brother's reaction closely.
It wasn't quite what he had expected; no blushing, no stammering, no hurried explanations, he didn't even look up from what he was writing when he said, „I have.“, but didn't elaborate.
Ernst angered at the lack of response. „I know. But seriously Eduard, that guy isn't even that good looking, not too mention old and hairy and... how can you?“, he finally snapped, „How can you do that? Do you love him?“
Now Eduard did look up, stern but obviously not embarassed, which had been Ernst's original intention. „Like I love you, do you mean that?“, his voice betrayed his emotion, he wasn't nearly as calm as he appeared, „No, I don't. Happy?“
Yes. „No!“, he shook his head in frustration, running his hands through his hair, messing it up. „I don't get it! I have never wanted anyone but you. I think of you all the time, I dream of you...!“, and in his dreams Eduard didn't say 'no' and didn't turn him away. „I couldn't even stand someone else touching me, I'd only be thinking of you and anyone else... it'd be wrong!“
Eduard looked down at his hands. „I think of you, every time.“, he said silently and then rushed out of the room, not looking back.
Ernst didn't follow him, but from that day on he decided that he wouldn't let others have what was his; Eduard had said so himself, if not directly. It was only him he wanted, no one else, even if he slept with them and not Ernst. He tempted Eduard on every occasion and didn't try to avoid touching and closeness at all, quite the opposite. Eduard was in for the trial of his life if he wanted to resist his brother's seduction and honestly wasn't sure how long he would last.
~End chapter three