[Arashi] Utaban 2009.04.26

Apr 28, 2009 14:40

Note: Uh. I'm drugged up and a bit woozy, so let me know if I've missed anything, or heard anything wrongly.


Narrator: We're going to discover facts about Arashi that are just way too surprising!

[Surprising new Arashi facts!]

And! Why might they be screaming? Now, we have prepared magnificent attractions for Arashi to make their busy schedule for Golden Week more enjoyable! (*note: Golden Week is a long stretch of public holidays in May in Japan.)

[We've prepared magnificent attractions for a fulfilling GW]

[Arashi]

Ayu: Well then, without delay, I shall introduce the attractions that we have prepared for your enjoyment today.

[TBS Announcer
Yamanouchi Ayu]

Ayu: This is what we have first! In great demand for many events in Golden Week, we have the magician, Dr Zuma-san! So, as this is his first appearance, let's take a look at one of his tricks first.

[Please watch his amazing magic trick]

Zuma: Yes.
Nakai: (overlapping) He already looks funny.
Ayu: Please do the honors.
Zuma: Yes, thank you for having me.

Nakai: Ah, he's drawing. What's he drawing?
Jun: A self-portrait?
Nakai: What is it? That's not it.
Jun: Hm?
Nakai: To look?
Jun: He's adding an eye.
Nakai: What is that, a squid?
Nino: A bird.
Nakai: So it's a bird.
Sho: It's a bird?

Sho: Wow, that's amazing!
Zuma: Thank you.

[This is just the beginning]

Nakai: What was that!? What the hell!

Narrator: After this! The audience screams at the unexpected development!

[Screaming at the unexpected development!]

[More shocking attractions appear after this!

In addition, we'll appraise treasures with Ootome Taichi]

Narrator: Now then! Please watch the shocking magic show that elicits screams from the studio audience!

[Shocking magic show]

Ayu: It's a bird.
Ishibashi: A bird again?
Sho: Aahhh, that scared me! That scared me!!
Zuma: This one is quite, um... well-trained. Please watch.
Sho: Ah, that's cool!
Ayu: Wow, what a good boy!
Ayu: Normal birds can't do that, can they?
Zuma: Indeed, they cannot. Last of all, I would like to show you a more intense trick.
Jun: Man, they're already pretty intense.
Nakai: Ninomiya... close your mouth!
Nino: Sorry!

Ayu: He's using something that looks like a net... ah, fire!
Sho: Gave me a heart attack...
Ohno: Hawks!?
Nakai: They're DOVES.
Ohno: Oh, they're doves! He's amazing!
Jun: He made doves out of fire!
Nino: How many birds does he have?
Sho: It's huge!
Nakai: Hold onto it, that thing'll destroy the studio!!
Nino: Amazing! What is this!?
Nakai: Just how much do you love birds!?

Narrator: Utaban! Tours for a fulfilling Golden Week. Here is the next attraction!

[GW Fulfilling Tours
(2) An item from the near future]

Nakai: What is this?
Ayu: Please do the honors.
Jun: It moved.
Nakai: It's a car, isn't it? What is this?

Ayu: These are from the grand opening called "Kaikokuhaku Y150", which has its 150-year anniversary coming up in two days, and one is the future car called PIVO2, while the other is its mascot, Tanemaru-kun.

[We received these from "Kaikokuhaku Y150"]

[Nissan Concept Car
"PIVO2"

Tanemaru]

Sho: What? What is this?
Nakai: Is this used for transporting players from the waiting area to the pitcher's mound? (*note: In Japanese, the waiting area for substitute pitchers in a baseball game is called "Bull pen", after pens that hold bulls. When a substitute is called up, he'll get into a car to head towards the pitcher's mound.)

[Relief car]

Narrator: Matsumoto and Announcer Yamanouchi now have the special opportunity to ride in the world's one and only electric car! This car has amazing functions which will turn your senses topsy turvy!

[The only one in the world, "PIVO2"
Matsumoto & Announcer Yamanouchi will take a special test ride]

[Has amazing functions which will turn your senses topsy turvy]

Ayu: This is how you hold the handle... Shall we drive forward a little? Okay.
Nakai: (overlapping) Eh, which way? She's going this way?
Ayu; These are the controls, and this Robot-kun is the one who carries out the car navigation system.
Jun: Oh, amazing!
Ayu: This is how it moves. Fabulous!
Jun: Amazing!
Ayu: Matsumoto-san, what do you think?
Jun: It's super quiet.
Ayu: It's very smooth, isn't it?
Jun: It's really quiet.
Ayu: Also, this car... actually, the tires and the car body can revolve separately on their own. In other words, for parallel parking, you don't have to back up once to go in.
Jun: What did you say?
Ayu: You can do everything by moving forward... ah! See, right now, the car body is...
Car: Now turning right.
Ayu: Even people who are bad at backing up can now turn to the front...
Nino: (overlapping) What is this?
Ishibashi: So this becomes like this.
Ayu: And move forward.
Jun: Hehhh, this is cool!
Ayu: We shall move forward just like that.
Car: Now parallel parking, okay?
Car: Roger.
Ayu: We've entered the lot.

[Even people who are bad at driving can relax now]

Ayu: Soon it will stop. We slotted in facing the front, but as a parking lot, we've done a parallel parking.
Jun: This is amazing!
Ayu: We can't get off like this, right?
Jun: Oh, it's moving.
Ayu: So, we will turn the car body...
Aiba: Cool~!
Jun: And we can open the door here? Amazing~! This is amazing.

Narrator: Utaban! Tours for a fulfilling Golden Week. Here is the next attraction!

[GW Fulfilling Tours
(3) A fresh gourmet meal for the season]

Ayu: This is perfectly suitable for the upcoming season! A direct delivery from the distributors, we have prepared the first bonito of the season!

[Now is the perfect season! Please try the first, freshly caught bonito]

Ayu: Look at that splendid bonito! Cutting the fish for us today, we have the owner of "Umibouzu" from Chiba City, Naarai Tadashi-san! Please come forward.

[Decanter & Fish Restaurant "Umibouzu"
Naarai Tadashi-san]

Sho: It's huge!
Jun: It's huge!
Ayu: The bonito caught in this season have little fat, full of nutrients, and the fact that the color looks great is probably because it's freshly caught.
Nakai: What do we eat this with, ponzu? (*note: ponzu - Japanese sauce made out of citrus juice and soy sauce)
Naarai: For this one... I think I'll go with salt today.
Jun: Salt!
Sho: I've never had bonito with salt.
Nakai: With garlic, right?
Naarai: Yes, something like that.

Narrator: Well! How does a freshly caught bonito taste with a salt dip?
Sho: Delicious! Delicious!
Nakai: It really is! The dip, or should I say the sauce...
Naarai: I've used the best sesame sauce.
Nino: It's good!
Nakai: The minute you pop it in, it melts away, right? So this is the freshly caught bonito with salt; it's magnificent.
Nino: Magnificent!

[Thanks for the hard work]

Nakai: Things Arashi has seen! Scoops on Arashi!

[Things Arashi has seen!
Scoops on Arashi!]

Narrator: Next, Arashi members will play the paparazzi on each other and find us a story! Surprising tales of their private lives will be revealed!

[They've taken pictures of each other's hidden sides!
Surprising tales of their private lives will be revealed!?]

Nakai: Ninomiya-kun!
Nino: Yes!
Nakai: Late at night... Okay, who dug this up?
Aiba: Here! I was the one who took the shot.

[What is the secret to the picture Aiba took of Ninomiya?]

Nakai: Aiba!
Aiba: Yep! Here it is. Please take a look. Ninomiya was... he performed one the last time, right, a magic trick.
Nakai: You're still doing magic!?
Nino: I'm still addicted to it, so yes, I am!
Aiba: Look at this, he's tipsy.
Nakai: What's up with those dark rings under your eyes?
Nino: No, see... this must've been right after I got drunk.

[A tipsy Ninomiya showed off magic tricks in a bar]

Sho: There's a restaurant we frequent--
Nakai: A common restaurant.
Sho: Yes. I went there and was told that Ninomiya-kun has been showing up a lot lately...
Nakai: Uh huh.
Sho: So I said, "Ahh, really? I didn't know that." And the guy said, "He really livens up the restaurant by showing us magic tricks."
Nakai: Ninomiya, in ordinary terms, that's what we call a "business".
Nino: That's true...
Nakai: So what, you take your cards with you when you go out to eat?
Nino: I--
Jun: He's always carrying them. He's probably carrying them right now, in fact.
Nakai: Will you stop giving him cues like that?
Ishibashi: But I want to see one. ♥
Nino: Ah!
Nakai: What the hell...
Nino: So I have to perform one after all!

Narrator: After this, we'll have Ninomiya's newest magic trick! The entire studio audience will be shocked!

[Ninomiya will show us his newest magic trick]

Nino: Now, now--
Nakai: We'll only show it to Ishibashi-san, you hear?
Nino: Okay, Ishibashi-san. Now, I'm going to drop the cards, so please say stop whenever you like.
Ishibashi: Stop.
Nino: Then, please take this card. Can you remember it for me?
Nakai: Okay, only to the third block camera. With the monitor.
Ishibashi: Is that okay?
All: Yes.
Nino: Okay! Now, can you put the card back in, please?

[The chosen card]

Ishibashi: Anywhere I like?
Nino: Anywhere's fine.
Ishibashi: This is when they determine the position, isn't it?
Nino: Okay, so, this is the card you chose, correct?
Ishibashi: Yes.
Nakai: No mistake there.
Nino: Now I'll shuffle the cards.
Ishibashi: Oh my.
Nakai: You don't know where it is now, right?
Nino: I don't know where it went at all.
Sho: That's the first time I've seen that!
Jun: (overlapping) What is this?

Nino: Now, may I pick five possibilities? I think it should be in there.
Nakai: It'll be cool if it's in there, right?
Nino: Right. Two cards. Three cards.
Nakai: Four cards...
Nino: These are the possible cards. So, there's one card, two cards, three, four, five cards here--
Nakai: Yes.
Nino: Correct?
Nakai: Yes.
Nino: Now, I'm going to show the possible cards. Um... even if it's in there, please don't look surprised. Just look casually at the five cards.
Nakai: You're trying to startle us, right?
Nino: Right, that's right.
Nakai: I see.
Nino: So, first, take a look at this card. This is the first one. Okay? And this is the second one. Here's the third. The fourth. And this is the fifth. Now, only one card was different in the five, correct?
Ishibashi: Yes.
Nino: I think that's the card you chose.
Ishibashi: Wrong.
Nino: I'm talking about the one card that was different, you know.
Ishibashi: The one card that was different.
Nino: And that's not the one you chose?
Ishibashi: No.
Nakai: There's no point in me saying this, but it's the wrong one.
Nino: But look at this, the only card that's different is...
Audience: Ehhhhh!?
Nakai: It's so casually amazing that I hate it.
Sho: This is amazing! It's the first time I've seen this one, it's amazing.
Nakai: This is seriously so professional... it's kind of creepy!
Nino: Why is it creepy!?

Narrator: After this, MatsuJun is sunk by Gakki's words!

[MatsuJun is sunk by Aragaki Yui's appearance]

Narrator: Utaban! Scoops on Arashi! Next, we have a tip-off from someone regarding Matsumoto!

Nakai: So, Matsumoto is...? In a drama!
Jun: Yes.
Nakai: It's already started, right?
Jun: It has begun.

[Friday drama "Smile"
Airing with great appeal at 10pm]

Nakai: Now, we've received information on Matsumoto-kun from a fellow cast member. Who might that be? Please have a look.

["Smile" Playing Mishima Hana
Aragaki Yui]

Yui: Hello. I'm acting in the drama "Smile" with Matsumoto Jun-san. My name is Aragaki Yui.
Jun: Thank you very much.
Nakai: (overlapping) Aragaki-chan is so young~

[Q. What kind of person is Matsumoto-kun on set?]

Yui: Let's see... he's kind, but also a big bully. Something like that.
Nakai: What's she talking about?
Yui: It's cold at night on the location sets... so I wear a down coat.
Nakai: (overlapping) So she wears a beige coat.
Yui: Matsumoto-kun was surprisingly fast at stripping off to stand by for shooting... so, since the lead has taken his coat off, I thought it'd be bad for me to keep wearing it, but when I took it off, he said, "You should just wear it until the last minute!"
Nakai: Oh, that's good, that's a good thing to say.
Yui: So I thought, he's so kind, and I accepted the offer to wear it until the last minute. Then, he said, "She's so self-centered, she didn't want to take it off!" That's... what he told everyone. Please be more sincere in your kindness to me.
Nakai: Well, the first part was... well, this is all about communication, right?
Jun: That's right.

Nakai: Ohno, let's go with you!
Ohno: Okay!
Nakai: The last one... who did the report on Ohno?
Nino: He... did it himself.
Sho: (overlapping) On his own.
Nakai: No one reported on him?
Ohno: Yep.

Ishibashi: What is this?
Ohno: I went fishing. ♥
Ishibashi: Where?
Ohno: This was at Miyakejima.
Ishibashi: Miyakejima? What's that fish called?
Ohno: This is a blackfish.
Sho: How long did it take for you to catch it?
Ohno: For this one, it took... 25 hours.
Aiba: More than a day!?
Nakai: Hey... isn't Arashi supposed to be busy?
Nino: His face is getting more and more tanned.
Nakai: I thought so, too! I thought he was just working on his role or something... what's your reason, Matsumoto?
Jun: I'm doing this for my role.
Nakai: It's really for your role?
Jun: (overlapping) For the drama, yes, for my role.
Nakai: It's really for your role. Right. And what about Ohno? I thought you were working on a movie or something, but... what's the tan for?
Ohno: It's just a sunburn.

fandom: arashi, vid: utaban, !translations

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