(no subject)
To leave, or not to leave. That is the question.
I have two problems with my office.
Firstly, a panicky sensation that I'm underachieving that I'm stagnant at work and I'm going to be fired. This could be loosely termed I'm not good enough for the job.
Secondly a depressed feeling that my job is pointless, unstimulating and I'm working for a worthless, faceless gutless corporation doing nothing useful important or interesting
i.e The job's not good enough for me.
I think the former sensation is mostly due to ridiculous neuroses that have nothing to do with work. I'm getting over them slowly, so that's fine.
This still leaves the latter. Given that I tend to enjoy and be interested in things that I feel I'm good at and I'm moving forwards with, one might be tempted to think that when the first problem goes, so will the second. And, more worryingly, that while the first problem persists, I'll have the second one in any job.
The trouble is, I'm not convinced. I think I ought to be a lawyer. Or an academic. Or at the very least do what I do anyway for a charity that I actually like. But I'm equipped to do none of these things yet. And its a big deal, with a big price tag to retrain.
The current plan is to bide my time, wait until I'm back in london, and squirrel away cash. Then make a break for it in 2011. If I went for law, that would mean I'd start my training contract when I was 29.
*gulp*
Oh well.