(no subject)
I can't stand people.
I might have felt this way before but I can't remember when and I don't think I have felt this quite so intense before.
These days there's nothing I love / crave more than being on my own. It's like, I smile more, I'm less angry, I can think more when I'm on my own. I observe more, I generally like the me more when I'm on my own.
When I'm with people, I just get so pissed off, cranky, very very bitchy. Every single thing people around me do, irked me till no ends. I'm just so fed up with their self entitlement, their selfishness, and the lack of consideration for others.
I haven't been happy at work for many years now, but there were period of times when things don't seem so bad. Usually when I'm so busy, I don't have the time to think. I just work, and work and work, go to bed and the cycle repeats. Of course it helps that when we are busy my family cut me lots of slack. They usually get more understanding and become less demanding.
Now that the crunch period is over (till the next one), they start being annoying again.
Well, you see, I'm kinda the jack of all trades at work. I'm somehow looped into most departments in my company, simply because my boss can't seem to decide where he wants me at. So, everybody starts to want a piece of me, expecting me to do stuff for them because 1) It's my job 2) I'm the "free" one 3) Well, simply because I'm in a position I cannot say no.
You know, doing things for people is fine. Yeah, cause it's my dad's firm and all. So they are right when they think it is my job. Cause if the work don't get done, it's our asses on the line. But along the way, they start taking me for granted. Just because I appear to be the free one, they think I am a slacker and start blaming me for their faults. They will throw random jobs at me and then ask me at the very last minute for the results without taking into consideration the hundred billion (yes, some petty) jobs that I have in hand. Because of all these random tasks, I sometimes won't be at my table and they just leave files or random notes, not signed, not acknowledged, mind you and expect me to magically read minds and know what the fuck I am supposed to do.
Ok, here comes MY own problem. I hate asking. Really I just loathe it some much. (I don't mind asking usually, just NOT from THEM) Why?
1) They will assume that by me asking them the details, I automatically assume 100% responsibility on the matter and they will just wash their hands off the case despite the case being assigned to them in the first place
2) They get annoyed when I ask because apparently I'm supposed to read their minds *le gasp*
3) They will tell me things that I already guessed and expect me to do the dirty work.
Yea well, mostly No.1.
I kinda feel lazy and also I'm getting pretty heated up typing all these. So I'm just going to summarize.
I hate people. (My assholes colleagues in particular) I feel lost. I am angry. I am being taken for granted. I can't quit. I just feel like sleeping forever.
I might have felt this way before but I can't remember when and I don't think I have felt this quite so intense before.
These days there's nothing I love / crave more than being on my own. It's like, I smile more, I'm less angry, I can think more when I'm on my own. I observe more, I generally like the me more when I'm on my own.
When I'm with people, I just get so pissed off, cranky, very very bitchy. Every single thing people around me do, irked me till no ends. I'm just so fed up with their self entitlement, their selfishness, and the lack of consideration for others.
I haven't been happy at work for many years now, but there were period of times when things don't seem so bad. Usually when I'm so busy, I don't have the time to think. I just work, and work and work, go to bed and the cycle repeats. Of course it helps that when we are busy my family cut me lots of slack. They usually get more understanding and become less demanding.
Now that the crunch period is over (till the next one), they start being annoying again.
Well, you see, I'm kinda the jack of all trades at work. I'm somehow looped into most departments in my company, simply because my boss can't seem to decide where he wants me at. So, everybody starts to want a piece of me, expecting me to do stuff for them because 1) It's my job 2) I'm the "free" one 3) Well, simply because I'm in a position I cannot say no.
You know, doing things for people is fine. Yeah, cause it's my dad's firm and all. So they are right when they think it is my job. Cause if the work don't get done, it's our asses on the line. But along the way, they start taking me for granted. Just because I appear to be the free one, they think I am a slacker and start blaming me for their faults. They will throw random jobs at me and then ask me at the very last minute for the results without taking into consideration the hundred billion (yes, some petty) jobs that I have in hand. Because of all these random tasks, I sometimes won't be at my table and they just leave files or random notes, not signed, not acknowledged, mind you and expect me to magically read minds and know what the fuck I am supposed to do.
Ok, here comes MY own problem. I hate asking. Really I just loathe it some much. (I don't mind asking usually, just NOT from THEM) Why?
1) They will assume that by me asking them the details, I automatically assume 100% responsibility on the matter and they will just wash their hands off the case despite the case being assigned to them in the first place
2) They get annoyed when I ask because apparently I'm supposed to read their minds *le gasp*
3) They will tell me things that I already guessed and expect me to do the dirty work.
Yea well, mostly No.1.
I kinda feel lazy and also I'm getting pretty heated up typing all these. So I'm just going to summarize.
I hate people. (My assholes colleagues in particular) I feel lost. I am angry. I am being taken for granted. I can't quit. I just feel like sleeping forever.