Le sigh........
I went on a mad cleaning spree when I got home from work. I rearranged everything , I mopped the floor, I dusted I vacuumed all of the cobwebs away from the ceiling(My house is 120 years old and unfortunately riddled with wood spiders who are a bit too aggressive for my taste). I went all out , and now everything is spic and/or span.
Now I'm just sitting here, sipping my green tea and wishing I were with bryan. Sometimes it's okay, and everything is full of happy distractions and I'm fine. When I come home , and he's not here it just tears me up. I know I see him alot(not enough if you ask me, but I am kind of demanding) , but ...........I don't know. I guess things will be better once I get my license and my car in order. Once thats settled , maybe we can start looking for apartments. I try to maintain my optimism, but it's so draining and there are days when it's just too much and I crash.
I often dream about the two of us just running away from it all, just flying off to some new and exciting place...leaving all this shit behind. We could go to Hawaii and he could sell coconuts, and I could change my name to Lilo and give Hula lessons.....Or we could run off to Paris and open up a bookshop/cafe and become Pierre and Chantal wino/philosophs extrordinaire......Or to New Zealand , I could be a Kiwi farmer and he could work as Peter Jackson's personal chef........ I don't know what I want, I just know that I don't want it to stay this way for ever.
Off to lose myself in The Da Vinci Code before bed.
Now I'm just sitting here, sipping my green tea and wishing I were with bryan. Sometimes it's okay, and everything is full of happy distractions and I'm fine. When I come home , and he's not here it just tears me up. I know I see him alot(not enough if you ask me, but I am kind of demanding) , but ...........I don't know. I guess things will be better once I get my license and my car in order. Once thats settled , maybe we can start looking for apartments. I try to maintain my optimism, but it's so draining and there are days when it's just too much and I crash.
I often dream about the two of us just running away from it all, just flying off to some new and exciting place...leaving all this shit behind. We could go to Hawaii and he could sell coconuts, and I could change my name to Lilo and give Hula lessons.....Or we could run off to Paris and open up a bookshop/cafe and become Pierre and Chantal wino/philosophs extrordinaire......Or to New Zealand , I could be a Kiwi farmer and he could work as Peter Jackson's personal chef........ I don't know what I want, I just know that I don't want it to stay this way for ever.
Off to lose myself in The Da Vinci Code before bed.