the layers
I wish I could be one of those people who just hates life. Who just thinks that everyone is out to get them. Someone who just feels so sad and so lonely. It seems like it would just be so much easier to accept all the darkness and hate in this world. It would be so much easier just sitting here not believing in any goodness. It would be easier. But I can't do it. I believe in this world of ours. How dare anyone say that I don't look to the positive of this world. How dare they say all I do is think negatively and say no. That is not me! I don't think of the negative I think of the goodness. I believe in this world of ours. That's why you rarely see me in a bad mood. I don't want to be one of those people who just go, "O life hates me. Poor me. Poor me.". THAT IS NOT ME! I AM MY OWN PERSON! DON'T YOU DARE CATEGORIZE ME WITH THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE! I just wish to make everyone and myself happy. Why do all my words have to sound so hypocritical to me? Why do I agree with the person. Why? I don't want to be like that, I want to be different. I want to be me. I don't want to be what people think I am. But I am. I AM! I wish I could just redo my self. I can feel how I really wish I was deep down, but it is surrounded by all this that is not me. Somebody else, somebody I don't want to be! Why does she have to be right? Why can't I just freaking stand up and admit that I am like that. If I did it would help me bring out the real me. The real me I was once long ago. The me that used to be so happy. The me that used to be so happy if he made someone else happy. The real me... That is what I want so dearly ...