Ahh, memories...
My tall tale of how I got to dress up as Pope Joan for a photoshoot went down well last night. I therefore present more Things the Church of England Likes.
#8 Hassocks
Church was unspeakably boring when I was a child. It was occasionally enlivened by our resident quirky vicar, who liked to do puppet shows from the pulpit, but otherwise it was dull as dull can be. The only form of entertainment I could find was kicking the hassock.
Since those of you who weren't dragged off to church as children (or who were dragged to different denominations of church) may not know what a hassock is, I will enlighten you. A hassock is a small, thickly padded cushion for kneeling on while praying. Sit in a pew and you'll find a hassock dangling from a hook screwed into the pew in front of you. Kick it and it will swing back and forth in a manner diverting to a four-year-old who couldn't give a stuff what Paul said to the Corinthians. I don't recommend you do this though, as it may get you into trouble, especially if you kick it so hard it falls off the hook.
Hassocks are rarely called upon to serve their real purpose. Most people, when instructed to 'sit or kneel' in the order of service are quite happy to stay exactly where they are to do their praying, and only a few particularly enthusiastic types bother with unhooking the hassock and getting down on the floor. This means that they last a long time and don't need replacing all that often.
This is fortunate, as particularly in larger churches and cathedrals it's considered de rigeur to have hassocks decorated with needlepoint embroidery, preferably in a wide variety of designs. Some cathedrals have their own team of broderers, devoted to the repair and replacement of hassocks and other embroidered whatnots. If the hassocks wore out faster, they'd never keep up.
#8 Hassocks
Church was unspeakably boring when I was a child. It was occasionally enlivened by our resident quirky vicar, who liked to do puppet shows from the pulpit, but otherwise it was dull as dull can be. The only form of entertainment I could find was kicking the hassock.
Since those of you who weren't dragged off to church as children (or who were dragged to different denominations of church) may not know what a hassock is, I will enlighten you. A hassock is a small, thickly padded cushion for kneeling on while praying. Sit in a pew and you'll find a hassock dangling from a hook screwed into the pew in front of you. Kick it and it will swing back and forth in a manner diverting to a four-year-old who couldn't give a stuff what Paul said to the Corinthians. I don't recommend you do this though, as it may get you into trouble, especially if you kick it so hard it falls off the hook.
Hassocks are rarely called upon to serve their real purpose. Most people, when instructed to 'sit or kneel' in the order of service are quite happy to stay exactly where they are to do their praying, and only a few particularly enthusiastic types bother with unhooking the hassock and getting down on the floor. This means that they last a long time and don't need replacing all that often.
This is fortunate, as particularly in larger churches and cathedrals it's considered de rigeur to have hassocks decorated with needlepoint embroidery, preferably in a wide variety of designs. Some cathedrals have their own team of broderers, devoted to the repair and replacement of hassocks and other embroidered whatnots. If the hassocks wore out faster, they'd never keep up.