Some entertaining moments from Things: Fun in a Box

[winged_spirit]

((also known as the answers people wrote...))

Things:

-to not say to your grandmother:
***You don't looks a day over 150!
***I saw Grandpa... kissing Santa Clause.
***I have sex on the Sabbath.

-you just can't beat:
***another woman's bongoes chest

-to not do in a bathtub:
***eat an orange in Florida on a Sunday

-to not write in a Valentine's card
***I hate you.

-to not name your children
***not mine
***mistake
***late for dinner
***adopted

-you can't put on your lawn
***mechanical gnomes that chant "hungry"
***sacrificial maidens
***a flamingo (your mom)

-that would get a doctor sued for malpractise:
***"I was supposed to get my LEG amputated but..."
((and there was a general theme of amputation here...))

-children shouldn't know:
***one word: potatoes...

-you won't find in a dictionary:
***your mom
***your face
***your legs
***your picture, Amy.
((no, i'm not making this up.))

-you shouldn't give as gifts:
***the tooth fairy
***porn
***herpes
***porn

-that would make your love life better
***a love life
***certificates to the stag shop
***an extra person
***the stag shop

~~Geane