(no subject)
Although this story is not quite true, I did write it for an English assignment. The directions were posed (Extemp style!) like "Construct an essay that personifies different inanimate objects and talk about your interactions." Immediately, I thought of Erin Hutchinson. So...here it goes:
My friend Erin and I decided to go for ice cream a couple weeks ago. Walking in to the store, and finding out we only had $1.93 (The amount of money my friend was paid to eat an ounce of pure rock salt...dumbass) together, it seemed we could not buy the ice cream we wanted. Looking around for some sort of ATM, Erin spotted one and decided to use Mr. ATM Card. Mr. Card pleaded Erin to not be put inside the machine. "It does this weird thing where it scans my whole entire body, than rips out things called 'Washingtons' from inside of me and hands them to you. It hurts, so please don't put me in there." So of course, Erin being the nice person that she is, decided to put Mr. Card inside the ATM to withdraw Lincolns instead. Unfortunatly, Mr. Card had no money inside of him whatsoever and was immediately executed by Mrs. ATM for attempting to steal her money (in more ways than one).
We than decided to just go over to Erin's house for the ice cream. We hopped inside the car, and El Gas Lighto came on. "Eh Man. Yo need gasso." Neither Erin nor I have taken Spanish or Car, so we had no idea what the hell he was saying. We quickly started up the car, and headed down McDowell towards her house. Upon reaching her house, El Gas Lighto Spoke to us once more. "You have no gasso, chica." Erin took her masking tape outside of the car's trunk, and taped El Gas Lighto up. That was the last of his fiendish Spanglish.
My friend Erin and I decided to go for ice cream a couple weeks ago. Walking in to the store, and finding out we only had $1.93 (The amount of money my friend was paid to eat an ounce of pure rock salt...dumbass) together, it seemed we could not buy the ice cream we wanted. Looking around for some sort of ATM, Erin spotted one and decided to use Mr. ATM Card. Mr. Card pleaded Erin to not be put inside the machine. "It does this weird thing where it scans my whole entire body, than rips out things called 'Washingtons' from inside of me and hands them to you. It hurts, so please don't put me in there." So of course, Erin being the nice person that she is, decided to put Mr. Card inside the ATM to withdraw Lincolns instead. Unfortunatly, Mr. Card had no money inside of him whatsoever and was immediately executed by Mrs. ATM for attempting to steal her money (in more ways than one).
We than decided to just go over to Erin's house for the ice cream. We hopped inside the car, and El Gas Lighto came on. "Eh Man. Yo need gasso." Neither Erin nor I have taken Spanish or Car, so we had no idea what the hell he was saying. We quickly started up the car, and headed down McDowell towards her house. Upon reaching her house, El Gas Lighto Spoke to us once more. "You have no gasso, chica." Erin took her masking tape outside of the car's trunk, and taped El Gas Lighto up. That was the last of his fiendish Spanglish.