(no subject)
I have been thinking of my sekf worth lately and where i and ny extended family percieve where i should be. I grew up upper middle class. Ny father has a degree in engineering, my mom a masters in sorcial education, my uncle is a surgeon and mavy caotian, and all my cousins on both sides of my family ended up with college degrees. Two of them even studied abroad for thier degrees.
Then there is me. I dropped out of community college, have been unemployed most of my adult life ajd still live with my mom. I feek like the failure if the extended family.
But i have been working hard to recharacterize how i see everything. Ti change my paradigm of my lufe the same way you can manipulate statistics.
Every one went up the social ladder. I went down, almost by choice i have spent eight years living in the poor communities and have become one myself in a way. I no longer hace the disposable income to buy things like exoensive computer cases (or even a nice computer).
My choices have left me in a pickle. I chose to stay home to take care of my adopted brothers amd my disable mother. I fi ally want to get a job but my front teeth have fallen out, i have no college degree, and my only major work exoerience is working in early childhood. No body is willing to hire a 29 year old male with those credentials.
I have been going to the universitybof washing school of dentistry to get my teeth repaired. The dental stuxent i have been worming with is amazing. I try to do a little chit chat with her every time as i rest to bring my bloid pressure down. She has made me realize that i miss that world. I miss the socio-economic level i grew up at. I want to be able to talk with people that have knowledge and different experiences and perspectives or knowledge. Being in amd becoming part of the world of the pior has been amazing and has shaped me as a man that ibak so grateful. I am one of those few people that teuly understands the differences between the twi worlds. I guess in a sense, i want to go home to the world i left 8 years ago. But first i havebti figure outbhow to get out of the world of poverty. How do i get back in the whitecollar world without doing four years at college. I am bow exoerienckmg first hand the trouble the poor have at getting out of poverty.
[Written on my phone at 5am ona night of insomnia]