(no subject)
Meeting my host mom`s parents or Old Japanese people suck ass
So this last weekend was an adventure. I woke up late on Saturday and went downstairs where I soon found out the family computer was broken. Rather, it had a worm and they weren`t sure how to get rid of it. I said I could probably fix it and sat down with my knowledge of what most the buttons say in English and went for it. I spent the better part of the morning deleting random files and updating their computer and sometime around half past noon I left for a party that I was already late for. The party was for the English Speaking Society, to which I thought, hell I can do that. I mainly went because I wanted to find out from a friend if we were doing anything this weekend. I arrived and they were doing a `Bon Dance`. A `Bon Dance` is a gay dance where people go in a circle and all do the same thing, like the Electric Slide, or Macarena, or Square Dancing, but when you totally dis on this (as I found out quickly) people start up on this `Oh we`re contacting ancestral spirits to tell them everything`s A-OK up here`. I was told this by a short girl in kind of broken English after I had held my toungue as much as I could and instead of calling it `gay` `queer` `lame` or `retarded`, finally decided on `silly`. Yeah, she didn`t seem happy with me in the least. Afterwards, I started talking to this guy entirely in Japanese. I told him I was from America and we went through some basic introductions and talked about some silly stuff and he never asked me to speak in English at all. I was like, hey cool, maybe there are some lazy people I can exploit for some language practice. I met probably 8 people there and only two of them tried to speak English to me. It was so reminscent of everything I ever did in America with `Japanese practice`. I checked in with my friend and no plans for the weekend, which was fine, I had stuff I could do. I met some more people, had some fun and took off. I honestly can`t remember what I did the rest of the day. The next day I went to a `Kenpo Match`, which was wicked gay. It turns out that they intended to just do these really short `fights` where you and your friend do this set routine that looks wicked fake. Not to mention it was all like 8 year olds, so it looked pointless for them to be fighting. We spent like 5 hours and the boys` matches lasted about 3 minutes each. That night, we got a call from my host mom`s parents about how they were coming in that night and how we needed to pick them up at the nearby station. We went down and the first thing out of the old man`s mouth was completely incomprehensible to me. I greeted him, his wife, and his sister, and we all headed home. When we all got home, I sat down, ultra worried as I could barely get down a word he was saying. I sat opposite him (though not on purpose) and he looked at me uncomfortably for a few seconds. Finally he looks at me and says something that I can`t understand at all `Yuarehwa?` `...What` `YUAREHWA Does this kid understand Japanese? I thought you said he could speak it` (my host mom) `He`s asking where you`re from` `...oh...uhh America` `Hahahah Your dumb`.
That same scene repeated itself a couple of times with different questions and different people trying to explain to me what he was saying. In the end he asked how long I had been studying, laughed at me, and told me that I should try hard, and that it was hard to learn the language. It wasn`t the best feeling in the world. So then they brought up alcohol and I hit it pretty quick. Surely the liquor would loosen my lips! Oh but it didn`t. I made an ass of myself, as I mispronounced things I have said hundreds of times before (not drunkenly either, just out of sheer fright). I went to bed with hopes I could avoid the man for the rest of forever. Monday was a holiday, Respect for Old People day. That`s actually why the parents were down anyway. My host father was nice enough to take me and the two youngest boys to the Science Museum. It`s pretty much just like the Boston Science Museum in Japanese. We went to some astronomy show in the planetarium which was pretty nice. It was a pretty good day, except I found I really wanted to go to an arcade afterwards. Something about science museums, pushing all the buttons for the displays and all the quizzes and shit just make me think of it as a really shitty arcade that`s trying to be educational. I figure I`ll try and find one soon. I went home, and as soon as I sat down, the my host grandfather asked me if I understood the planetarium. The thing is, I didn`t remember the Japanese word for planetarium, or whatever the word he used was. I was like `Uhh...it was fun` and he laughed at me some more and the whole time I was like `God, I should just tell this guy he`s a fag and go for a walk` like that was some sort of awesome alternative. Most people would be like `Yeah, I`d punch him in the face` but I`m like `MAN, I AM SO GOING TO USE ENGLISH LOL HE SO WON`T UNDERSTAND`. Luckily the host mom brought it down to my level and explained what he was asking. I did understand a lot of the presentation, but then some of it I totally didn`t get. We sat around for a while, and I pretended to study so no one would ask my questions. After a good amount of time, they said we`re all going out to eat over by the Tokaidou (some old road that connected some cities, I don`t know I don`t really give a shit, but there`s a lot of business around it). We walked down an old looking road and took some pictures, then we went in to this classic style Japanese restaraunt. I looked at the restaraunt, and besides the drinks, I didn`t understand any of it. Luckily, my host father order just tons of appetizer type stuff and then sukiyaki (or sukiaki, hell if I know) which is one of those cook it yourself deals, like they have at Chili`s. The only difference is that with this, after you`ve cooked it, you put the shit in a raw egg, you know, to enhance the flavor. Anyway, it was pretty good, and they had me try sashimi, which was alright, and they were all impressed with how I didn`t vomit or hate it or anything, which lead my host family to again brag about how their new foriegner can eat sashimi and ume-boshi and natto and he can even use chopsticks, wow! As dinner was winding down, one of the kids asked the mom to try and teach him the hand game `aru pusu` is what the first few words of it are, and some of you know what I`m talking about (it`s like Patty-Cake, only gayer and takes more coordination). About a week before, this, they all found out I knew this and were amazed. So after the kid failing to do it a couple times, the mom comes over and we start doing the stupid hand game, and I kick ass. I go through it, I have to slow down for her and she messed up a couple of times. So when it`s over everyone starts clapping. Yay! Cory did it! The first praise I got from the grandfather. Everyone seemed really excited for me and that`s when I finally got in with the grandfather. He started actually directing questions towards me rather than asking someone else about me and he no longer just scowled at me. It was kind of nice, and I think I`m going to start doing the hand game more to impress people. We all went home and I got pretty drunk. The host grandfather explained what he did for a living and we had a couple of conversations, and I talked with everyone. I`m glad the weekend ended without me having to call him a fag.
Some other notes-
I have now tried Pocari Sweat. It`s basically like a grapefruit gatorade, not awful, but I probably won`t go for it again.
There`s a lot of stuff that did happen between this entry and the last, I`ll probably try to fill in the gaps later.
And Japan is hella expensive.
So this last weekend was an adventure. I woke up late on Saturday and went downstairs where I soon found out the family computer was broken. Rather, it had a worm and they weren`t sure how to get rid of it. I said I could probably fix it and sat down with my knowledge of what most the buttons say in English and went for it. I spent the better part of the morning deleting random files and updating their computer and sometime around half past noon I left for a party that I was already late for. The party was for the English Speaking Society, to which I thought, hell I can do that. I mainly went because I wanted to find out from a friend if we were doing anything this weekend. I arrived and they were doing a `Bon Dance`. A `Bon Dance` is a gay dance where people go in a circle and all do the same thing, like the Electric Slide, or Macarena, or Square Dancing, but when you totally dis on this (as I found out quickly) people start up on this `Oh we`re contacting ancestral spirits to tell them everything`s A-OK up here`. I was told this by a short girl in kind of broken English after I had held my toungue as much as I could and instead of calling it `gay` `queer` `lame` or `retarded`, finally decided on `silly`. Yeah, she didn`t seem happy with me in the least. Afterwards, I started talking to this guy entirely in Japanese. I told him I was from America and we went through some basic introductions and talked about some silly stuff and he never asked me to speak in English at all. I was like, hey cool, maybe there are some lazy people I can exploit for some language practice. I met probably 8 people there and only two of them tried to speak English to me. It was so reminscent of everything I ever did in America with `Japanese practice`. I checked in with my friend and no plans for the weekend, which was fine, I had stuff I could do. I met some more people, had some fun and took off. I honestly can`t remember what I did the rest of the day. The next day I went to a `Kenpo Match`, which was wicked gay. It turns out that they intended to just do these really short `fights` where you and your friend do this set routine that looks wicked fake. Not to mention it was all like 8 year olds, so it looked pointless for them to be fighting. We spent like 5 hours and the boys` matches lasted about 3 minutes each. That night, we got a call from my host mom`s parents about how they were coming in that night and how we needed to pick them up at the nearby station. We went down and the first thing out of the old man`s mouth was completely incomprehensible to me. I greeted him, his wife, and his sister, and we all headed home. When we all got home, I sat down, ultra worried as I could barely get down a word he was saying. I sat opposite him (though not on purpose) and he looked at me uncomfortably for a few seconds. Finally he looks at me and says something that I can`t understand at all `Yuarehwa?` `...What` `YUAREHWA Does this kid understand Japanese? I thought you said he could speak it` (my host mom) `He`s asking where you`re from` `...oh...uhh America` `Hahahah Your dumb`.
That same scene repeated itself a couple of times with different questions and different people trying to explain to me what he was saying. In the end he asked how long I had been studying, laughed at me, and told me that I should try hard, and that it was hard to learn the language. It wasn`t the best feeling in the world. So then they brought up alcohol and I hit it pretty quick. Surely the liquor would loosen my lips! Oh but it didn`t. I made an ass of myself, as I mispronounced things I have said hundreds of times before (not drunkenly either, just out of sheer fright). I went to bed with hopes I could avoid the man for the rest of forever. Monday was a holiday, Respect for Old People day. That`s actually why the parents were down anyway. My host father was nice enough to take me and the two youngest boys to the Science Museum. It`s pretty much just like the Boston Science Museum in Japanese. We went to some astronomy show in the planetarium which was pretty nice. It was a pretty good day, except I found I really wanted to go to an arcade afterwards. Something about science museums, pushing all the buttons for the displays and all the quizzes and shit just make me think of it as a really shitty arcade that`s trying to be educational. I figure I`ll try and find one soon. I went home, and as soon as I sat down, the my host grandfather asked me if I understood the planetarium. The thing is, I didn`t remember the Japanese word for planetarium, or whatever the word he used was. I was like `Uhh...it was fun` and he laughed at me some more and the whole time I was like `God, I should just tell this guy he`s a fag and go for a walk` like that was some sort of awesome alternative. Most people would be like `Yeah, I`d punch him in the face` but I`m like `MAN, I AM SO GOING TO USE ENGLISH LOL HE SO WON`T UNDERSTAND`. Luckily the host mom brought it down to my level and explained what he was asking. I did understand a lot of the presentation, but then some of it I totally didn`t get. We sat around for a while, and I pretended to study so no one would ask my questions. After a good amount of time, they said we`re all going out to eat over by the Tokaidou (some old road that connected some cities, I don`t know I don`t really give a shit, but there`s a lot of business around it). We walked down an old looking road and took some pictures, then we went in to this classic style Japanese restaraunt. I looked at the restaraunt, and besides the drinks, I didn`t understand any of it. Luckily, my host father order just tons of appetizer type stuff and then sukiyaki (or sukiaki, hell if I know) which is one of those cook it yourself deals, like they have at Chili`s. The only difference is that with this, after you`ve cooked it, you put the shit in a raw egg, you know, to enhance the flavor. Anyway, it was pretty good, and they had me try sashimi, which was alright, and they were all impressed with how I didn`t vomit or hate it or anything, which lead my host family to again brag about how their new foriegner can eat sashimi and ume-boshi and natto and he can even use chopsticks, wow! As dinner was winding down, one of the kids asked the mom to try and teach him the hand game `aru pusu` is what the first few words of it are, and some of you know what I`m talking about (it`s like Patty-Cake, only gayer and takes more coordination). About a week before, this, they all found out I knew this and were amazed. So after the kid failing to do it a couple times, the mom comes over and we start doing the stupid hand game, and I kick ass. I go through it, I have to slow down for her and she messed up a couple of times. So when it`s over everyone starts clapping. Yay! Cory did it! The first praise I got from the grandfather. Everyone seemed really excited for me and that`s when I finally got in with the grandfather. He started actually directing questions towards me rather than asking someone else about me and he no longer just scowled at me. It was kind of nice, and I think I`m going to start doing the hand game more to impress people. We all went home and I got pretty drunk. The host grandfather explained what he did for a living and we had a couple of conversations, and I talked with everyone. I`m glad the weekend ended without me having to call him a fag.
Some other notes-
I have now tried Pocari Sweat. It`s basically like a grapefruit gatorade, not awful, but I probably won`t go for it again.
There`s a lot of stuff that did happen between this entry and the last, I`ll probably try to fill in the gaps later.
And Japan is hella expensive.