let's see who catches the line from pulp fiction..
INT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - FOURTH GRADE CLASSROOM - 9:00 A.M.
The class has not yet started and various children are walking around the room and talking while Bart draws a chalk figure on the board. A close up of his drawing shows Ms. Krabappel with a speech bubble saying I SMELL. The door to the classroom opens and Ms. Krabappel walks in with an unidentified girl with short black hair and a light blue dress; neither of the two notices the drawing on the chalkboard. Bart walks back to his seat, whistling, and the rest of the students sit down in their desks.
MS. KRABAPPEL
Class? Class!
We have a new student.
(The unknown girl
gives a confident smile)
Her name is Ami and she’s
just moved here from Florida.
Everybody say hello, Ami.
A few inaudible mumbles are heard and Ami walks to the only empty seat in the back of the room, next to Milhouse. She smoothes her blue dress and sits down delicately.
MILHOUSE
(In a suave voice)
How you doin’?
(He winks)
AMI
I’d be better if you
stopped talking to me.
MILHOUSE
Ooh, feisty, are we?
Ami grimaces to herself as Milhouse wiggles his eyebrows up and down and makes clicking noises with his teeth.
From two chairs in front of Milhouse, Bart turns to stare at Ami.
BART
Ever been bitten by a shark?
AMI
(Sounding slightly exasperated)
That’s just a bad stereotype.
BART
(After a slight pause)
You’re a bad stereotype.
Ami rolls her eyes and looks past Bart to where Ms. Krabappel is erasing Bart’s drawing from the chalkboard. Bart moans slightly when he sees his artwork disappearing.
BART
(He moans again)
That took me thirty
whole seconds.
AMI
I’ve seen better from
a three year old.
BART
Is that a challenge?
AMI
It is what it is..
BART
Wise words..
(Ami smiles)
..for a girl.
(Ami’s smile is
replaced by a scowl)
EXT. KWIK-E-MART - STOREFRONT - MORNING
Homer is standing to the side of the store doors and is peering at a sign on the glass. After staring at the notice for several minutes he takes a pair of reading glasses out of his pocket and puts them on. He then looks at the sign again, for a much shorter time, and proceeds into the store.
APU
Good morning, Mr. Homer.
HOMER
That sign says you’re hiring.
How do I get hired here?
APU
But Mr. Homer, don’t you
already have a job?
HOMER
I’d like a little extra income.
APU
Ah, well, in that case,
just fill out this application
and then return it to me.
(He hands Homer a pink
application form and pen)
HOMER
(After looking at the form)
Why do you need my health
insurance information?
APU
Oh, Mr. Homer, you would
not believe the amount of
new employees that have
gotten injured here. Strangely
enough, they’ve all had something
to do with the Squishee machine
or the Cheese-Like-Flavor dispenser.
HOMER
Pfft- Amateurs. Don’t know
how to handle the condiments.
EXT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - PLAYGROUND - EARLY RECESS
Nelson is punching Martin, who is lying on the ground, covering his eyes. Ralph is standing near the jungle gym and simply staring at the sky. Bart is hanging from a low branch of a tree and Milhouse is standing below him. Ami suddenly appears outside of the door to the school. Bart notices Ami standing quietly and calls to her. She does not seem to hear, and Bart attempts to wave one arm to get her attention. He loses his grip on the tree branch and falls onto Milhouse. Ami finally sees Bart and Milhouse, but walks over to the jungle gym. Ralph stops staring at the sky as Ami approaches.
RALPH
I had a friend from Florida, once.
Did you know him?
AMI
(She opens her mouth to
say something but then
thinks better of it)
What did he look like?
RALPH
Like any other orange, silly.
Ami raises her eyebrow and then proceeds to the jungle gym. She climbs up and hangs upside-down by her legs, her arms by her sides to keep her dress from falling over her face. A group of children, including Bart and Milhouse, gather around the jungle gym and watch Ami intently.
MILHOUSE
Bet you five bucks she
can stay like that
‘til recess is over.
BART
I see your bet and raise
you a carton of chocolate milk.
MILHOUSE
(He looks around nervously)
Uhh.. when I said five dollars,
what I really meant to say
was one dollar.
NELSON
Lemme get in on this.
I bet the only good kickball
that she’s on the ground
in two minutes.
BART
(He suddenly has a small notepad
and is writing down the bets.)
Alright, anyone else?
(Silence.)
Oookay.
Bart turns around to stare at Ami again. Her face is turning red, but her eyes are closed and she seems not to notice. Ami opens her eyes and is startled to see the group of children congregated around her. She gracefully drops to the ground and begins to walk towards the school, just as the bell rings. Milhouse CHEERS jubilantly and Bart grudgingly hands him a dollar.
INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AROUND NOON
Homer is sitting on the couch watching television and filling out his application. He is using his large stomach to support the paper that he is writing on. Once he has finished filling it out, he dots his last i proudly, and with a flourish. The pen punctures the paper and jabs Homer in the stomach. He cries out in pain, gets up from the couch, and stomps on the pen repeatedly.
HOMER
(Bending down close to the pen)
Now who’s in pain?
(He hits it with his fist
to show that he has conquered
the pen. Ink squirts out of the
broken pen and into Homer’s eye.
Homer’s eye is now looking more
like a blueberry than an eye)
D’OH!!
Marge, holding Maggie, enters the living room.
MARGE
(Sounding worried)
Homie, what happened?
HOMER
(Audience can hear the
thoughts running through
his head: tell her the real
story, or make up another
story where you don’t
sound like such a wimp)
(Accidentally speaking aloud)
I choose the latter!
MARGE
What?
HOMER
I was minding my own
business, watching T.V.,
when this random blue pen
came out of nowhere and
started stabbing me!
I had to defend myself,
so I crushed it with my
giant muscles. As it
was taking it’s last gasping
breath, it squirted ink in my
eye.
(Homer points to his eye)
MARGE
(Sympathetic tone)
Oh, my poor baby!
(She puts Maggie on the
floor and takes a tissue
out of her pocket. She
begins blotting at the
ink that is in Homer’s eye)
HOMER
(Whimpering)
Ow, it stings!!!
INT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - CAFETERIA - LUNCH
Ami is sitting alone at a table, eating a sandwich. Bart and Milhouse are sitting at a table near Ami. Bart whispers something to Milhouse, who nods like a bobble head. Suddenly Milhouse jumps up from the table, grinning, and Bart looks horrified as he watches his best friend approach Ami’s table.
AMI
(Pauses chewing)
Yes?
MILHOUSE
Bart thinks you’re-
(Bart appears next to Milhouse
and elbows him hard in the ribs)
OWW!
AMI
(Questioningly, to Bart)
You think I’m what?
BART
(Struggling to find words)
Weird.
I think you’re weird.
AMI
You’re the weird one.
I mean- look at yourself, Bart.
A thought bubble appears over Bart’s head, showing Bart’s apparent idea of himself, taller and with large handlebar moustache.
BART
What are you talking about?
AMI
(She shakes her head,
almost laughing to herself)
Never mind.
BART
Yeah..
(Sticks out his tongue)
EXT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - PLAYGROUND - LUNCH RECESS
Bart, Milhouse, the twins, Ami, and Ralph are all standing on a grassy knoll, looking down on a hill. Ralph starts tilting and suddenly begins rolling down the hill. All of the other children follow suit, except for Bart. A thought bubble appears above his head, which shows one of the twins and Ami rolling down the hill. Ami’s dress is ripped off on a rock, and the twin somehow becomes entangled with Ami, who begins wrestling with her immediately. The thought bubble then disappears and Bart is shown with a dreamy look on his face. He then falls over and rolls down the hill. Once all the children have reached the bottom of the hill, Bart pulls Ami aside.
BART
Listen, Ami. I..
I like you.
(He stares at her defiantly,
as if daring her to reject him)
AMI
Really?
BART
Really.
AMI
Guess what?
BART
Chicken butt!?
AMI
No, no, Bart.
What I was going to
say is, I like you too.
BART
(Bart pumps his fists
and cheers loudly)
Will you be my girlfriend, then?
AMI
(Smiling shyly)
Yeah, I guess so.
I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher starts playing as images are shown like a slideshow. Bart and Ami are watching an Itchy and Scratchy film, Bart puts his arm around Ami right as Itchy high dives into a vat of acid. Bart and Ami are sharing a chocolate milk shake at a diner, and Bart starts blowing bubbles in the drink, at which Ami giggles. Bart and Ami are walking down the sidewalk, a puddle of mud blocking their path. Bart disappears for a moment and then reappears with a t-shirt, which he places over the puddle. Ami and Bart both cross the puddle, and a half-naked, farmer-tanned Krusty the Clown is shown waving his fist menacingly. Bart and Ami are sitting in the backseat of a car on Conception Overlook, but suddenly someone knocks on the window on Bart’s side of the car, and they run out of the car, which is clearly not theirs.
AMI
I’m going back to
Florida tomorrow.
(Bart looks up at her sadly)
Say something.
BART
(After a long pause)
Something.
AMI
(She half-smiles and
takes Bart’s hand)
You’ll be fine, Bart.
By the end of the week you
won’t remember me at all.
BART
(Pulls his hand away
and looks at Ami oddly)
Who are you?
Ami smiles and walks away.