All we do is make up ... and break up ...
Currently we're at the 'make up' part, so at least it's... all right. Frankly, it's good. We almost broke up two Fridays ago, when we were at a party at one of the salsa girls' place. I felt he wasn't paying me enough attention, and when he finally did acknowledge my presence, made the mistake of commenting "Well it's nice to receive some attention" which made him mad. He ignored me for the rest of the evening, though he did 'let' me sit next to him on the couch and brought me a throw blanket when he saw I was cold during the movie. Then we fought in the car on the way to his place and he practically forced me to stay over, saying he wasn't going to let me drive home in this state at 4AM.
So I stayed. I wanted to continue talking it out but he was tired so said we'd do it in the morning. We hardly touched one another through the night but in the morning we messed around - no sex, but he was working me pretty hard, and whenever I half-seriously tried to get away, he practically immobilized me on the bed and just... damn, he nearly got me off twice. Then suddenly it was 1PM and I had to go home for a family lunch.
But we still didn't talk. So on Saturday night I also went to his place and we tried to talk it out again, fought, I almost stormed out twice and then finally did leave saying he had an early morning so I would let him go to sleep. Personally I had the evening shift on Sunday so I wouldn't have cared if we'd continued to fight until 4AM again, but I didn't want to do that to him.
Throughout the week I was on pins and needles, not knowing what was going on with us. He did call me on Monday, "To see if you're still alive" he said, and we exchanged a few texts. By Wednesday I was confident enough to ask him if he liked jazz, since there was a free show in Tel-Aviv on Thursday - which was our 10 month anniversary. He did reply that he liked jazz, but nothing about the show.
So on Thursday I texted him So.. is that a no to jazz, or just no to me? :(
And he replied all ????
I let it die then, but he texted again the evening asking if I was at work (I told him I had the evening shift, to which he replied with :( ) and he asked if I wanted to do something. He suggested bowling, but I asked that we just have dinner. I expected it to be at a cafe near his place, and to basically break up for the last and final time, but when I arrived at his place, he came to greet me at the car and leaned into kiss me - whoa, good sign. Also, he suggested going to the restaurant where we had our very successful second date, as well as my birthday dinner. I said okay, because I knew he liked that place and it seemed like another good sign.
During dinner he said he was "giving me one last chance" and that "honestly, you've gotten waaaay more chances than I've ever given anybody else." On the one hand, uh, gee, thanks, asshole. You don't have to give me another chance if it's such a bother. But on the other hand... it does feel nice to know he wants me (I'm not going to say 'loves me' because I'm honestly not sure he's capable of it, and I know he's not capable of every saying it) enough to give it another go. Frankly I was sure this would be it, but when he actually paid for dinner (instead of going Dutch; we are, after all, an established couple and I keep complaining that since I always come to his place and spend gas-money and time to do so, then he could at least contribute in other places, like paying for food/outings) I was pretty much sold.
After dinner we wanted to walk around some park. He led me to one next to the school where he works (summer camp, now) and then we discovered the park was undergoing renovations, so there was basically no path at that entrance, just sand. I made a face about walking through the sand because I was wearing heels. At first Ron said, "Well, we'll go around." But then suddenly - "You know what, no." and he scooped me up and carried me bridal-style over the sand and up to the path!!!! :O He did huff and puff and say it's a good thing I didn't get desert but oh well It was still kinda so romantic!
And in the park we walked around and sat on a bench and we kissed for like half an hour. It was wonderful. He complemented me on my clothes (I was wearing fitted high-waisted black shorts and a loose top) and hair (I'd let it stay naturally curly instead of putting it up after washing it the night before) and shared with me some personal stuff he hadn't talked about the previous weeks. We slept at his place and the sex was, well, it's never amazing, but it was good :) It was the first time in two weeks, because I'd been on my period the week two weeks before and the previous week was a fight-week so no nookie. Yay, sex! :)
I slept over on Friday too and that was fun. We watched TV and he made me spell things out for him during sex - he wouldn't move a finger unless I specifically asked him to. It might sound appealing for someone who's more dominant - but he knows that in sex I prefer not to be dominant, so in the end I just leaned in and whispered that I wanted him to tie me up and fuck me. And, well, he did it :)
Since then we've been talking daily on the phone (and it's going more smoothly than it used to, good sign) and on Friday we have a challenge: a birthday party for Ori the Legendary Ex. Ron is invited, and I do hope he comes, because aside from Ori, the birthday boy, I won't know anyone there and I'd like to have Ron as a buffer. After all, I can't hog the birthday boy at his own party. Ron is hesitant because he doesn't know or like Ori, but he knows there's some lingering affection / lust there so he might want to keep an eye on me. His words, not mine. I assured him that Ori would not attempt anything because he knows I'm with Ron, and I don't want Ori.
Notttttttttttttt entirely 100000% true, but I 100000000000000000000% will not do anything with Ori while I'm technically still with Ron. Still allowed to fantasize, though :P
On slightly less dramatic notes, I got a dress for my sister's wedding (August 28th!!!!!!!!!) It's a light turquoise green, pleated (plissé) mini dress with ruffled flowers on the shoulders. It's sort of 20s retro-style and cinched at the waist with a thin black belt. It was also dirt cheap (150NIS, compared to my mom's rather luxe 1,200NIS floor-length purple lace evening gown, but hey, she is the mother of the bride :D ) and I have all the accessories (shoes / jewelry) I need so no more expenses :)
I also got 2 other dresses (one black, one red) that are really sexy and I need an occasion to wear them to. They're too sexy for salsa nights, and I'm hesitant about wearing one of them to Ori's party because Ron might think I'm wearing it for him (Ori) or something stupid like that. Maybe I'll just model them for Ron before we have sex - I wonder what effect that might have on him :D Rrrrrrrrrrrrr!