(no subject)
So... it's official, Ron and I are back together. It took all of the 10th and 11th to do it - but it's been a lovely week since then and today is 8 months since the first kiss (although it includes 2 weeks of time apart, during 2 different break-ups.)
On the 10th was Lag BaOmer, which is basically a bonfire holiday. We had an enormous bonfire with about 30 people, which was partly organized by myself and Inbal and partly worked out by pure luck. We had enough food and drinks (even some alcohol!) for everyone and I made it in time coming straight from work and there was enough firewood and everyone had a good time. Ron took charge of the bonfire and even though I'd sort of "decided" that I didn't want to go back to him, I can't deny I was worried with him so close to the fire. Throughout the evening we were sort of on-and-off; we kissed several times and I got him water when he got burned and I made sure he took the time to eat.
At one point I felt ill and went to sit down, and then I got cold so I got up to go get a sweatshirt from my car. At the exact moment I was getting up, Ron came to sit with me and caught me off guard - he put a hand on my shoulder just as I was trying to rise, and it put me off balance so I snapped at him and threw his hand off. He took offense (rightly so, I was needlessly mean) and ignored me for the rest of the evening.
Somehow we ended up among the last people still at the site of the bonfire, helping clean up and throw out all the food. He and I talked and I apologized for snapping at him, but once again I said that if he wanted me back then he'd have to really put in effort this time. We talked for about 20 minutes and he begged me to sleep at his place, partly because he was worried I was too tired to drive (which I was) and partly because he wanted me. I said all right because honestly I was exhausted and he offered to drive, but I made it very clear to him that we would not be having sex that night. We did make out quite a bit, until something I said made him explode and we started fighting again. It was 4AM and I was crying and whisper-shouting in his room and it was awful.
I got up to leave 3 times, and each time he held me back. He said that it was because he didn't want me to drive when I was upset and tired, and eventually he also said that he was just afraid that if I left then I would never return. It was because he finally said that, that I decided to stay. I stressed again that we would not be having sex that night, even though he said several times that he really wanted me. I was fine with laying in bed with him, he asked if I minded if we spooned and I said no, but he tried to take my clothes off twice and I stopped him. He thanked me for it, saying that a part of him was screaming 'no' but his head and his heart were saying it was the right thing to do (not have sex.)
In the morning things were strange... we put it off for as long as we could, but eventually I had to ask again: Now what? And his answer was the one I hate the most: "I don't know what to say." It makes me feel as though he doesn't care enough to figure out what to say. I lost it then and since I was already dressed, I got up and left. I thought, this is it. He's said he won't come after me this time. I was ready for it and accepted it. I left and didn't look back - until I heard the door of his building open again after I'd closed it. There he was, still in his pajamas and barefoot, looking out after me.
I went back up the stairs of his building to the door and said that the fact that he'd come after me, even though he'd said that he wouldn't anymore, said a lot. I told him that if we wanted to make this work, one last final time, then we both had to try harder at some things. I kissed him and told him to call me later that day. He did, but nothing came out of it, and we didn't meet up, because I went out with my best friend H.
She's leaving for the US next month; she's going to be an instructor at Jewish Camp in Philadelphia, it's mad. We had chocolate fondue at Max Brenner's and talked mostly about her; she didn't want to hear about Ron at all because I'd been complaining to her so much about him that she's kind of upset we were getting back together.
When I got home Ron and I texted back and forth a while, including me sending him a pic of the new dress I'd bought (I bought it for Passover, actually, and he'd seen it, but he'd not seen me wearing it, so..)
That was Friday night, and on Saturday he called again and asked if I was coming to Salsa. I normally hate Saturday!Salsa because it's very crowded and it's no fun to get home late when I work the next day, but there was a birthday party for one of the girls so I decided what the hell. Also, Ron suggested that he sleep over at my place. At first I was stumped - it made no sense, he had work the next day. He said he'd take the train, he'd already checked the times. I was floored. It was exactly the effort and suggestions I'd wanted to hear from him all the past 7 months.
We got to my place and I got my things to shower. Ron came into the bathroom to wash his hands and take out his contacts, and he just wouldn't leave XD I finally took off my clothes, said to him over my shoulder, "Either get out, or get in," and stepped into the shower. I heard him take his clothes off and then he stepped in after me. It was awesome - we nearly had shower!sex, which is kind of a fantasy of mine, but I don't exactly keep condoms in the shower, and although I'm on the Pill and Ron is probably clean, we didn't want to risk it. We kept it clean (lol) and waited until we got to my room to have sex, and it was pretty good. We even had a morning quickie a mere 3 hours after that (since we went to sleep at 3AM and woke up at 6) which was kind of exciting :)
I dropped Ron off at the train station and went off to work, and in the evening we went to the Port in Jaffa (Old Tel-Aviv) for dinner and a street-art/fashion show by the clothing store Castro. Ron thought it would be nice to film and brought his baby lover camera, but in the end it was kind of disappointing. We did have a nice dinner together, and I also bought a pair of high-waisted jean shorts which Ron certainly approved of :)
On Thursday we went together to City Taste, which is basically a food festival in a great big open field in Tel-Aviv. It was fun but I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head - I got to the train station and all I wanted was a cup of coffee but saw, after buying my ticket and discovering that the rail company had yet again upped the price of tickets, that the coffee cart had just closed. So I got onto the train and met Ron (who'd gotten on 2 stops earlier) in an increasingly bad mood which he didn't even seem to notice and just started talking about commercial posters and how lame they were. Ever since he started a copywriting course he's always going on about these kind of things and frankly I don't mind, but just this once I would have rather he paid a bit more attention to how I felt. He said later that it didn't show on my face that I was irritated, which is bullshit and also relevant, because I sat down next to him with a huff and said, "I hate this country" and told him about the ticket and the coffee.
Anyway, whatever, I tried to enjoy the food fair and had some good food, but then we almost missed the train and had to make a mad dash to reach it at the very last second. The doors of the car literally closed behind us a second after we boarded. We got off at my station and drove to Tuesday!Salsa, which had been the original plan but by then I was so tired (and also had low blood sugar) so I didn't enjoy the evening at all, I left early.
Ron also annoyed me with another wtf? moment - I usually go to the LA teach, while he does Cuban style, so we never dance together until the party. That night, I thought I'd go back to Cuban as well - not the same level as him, I'm not as advanced as him in Cuban. I let him know by asking who was doing the lower-level Cuban teach that night, and he told me, and then promptly went off to the LA teach which I usually go to. I mean, WTF????? He couldn't have told me that he was going to do LA that night, maybe we could dance together??? I ended up joining LA because the Cuban teach was lame, and then Ron wanted to dance with me most of the time, but honestly he was pretty bad because he hasn't danced LA in a long while. And when the guy (who leads in salsa) doesn't know the dance moves, there's no way the girl can do it right. So I kept messing up because of him, and also because I was just feeling shaky, so it got me really irritated. The whole night was a bust, and I left early. Ron did walk me to the car and help me calm down and asked what was wrong (and what did he do wrong - big of him) and in general he was pretty awesome about it.
I can't remember if we did anything on Wednesday or Thursday, but on Friday there was a birthday party at a pub and a friend of his from the army dropped by, so they sat and talked while I had nothing to do (all my closer salsa-friends had already left the party so I just sprawled across a sofa and pretended to nap... or sulk, whatever.) We left too a bit later, and Ron took me aside before we got in the car and kissed me and thanked me for being so understanding and for giving him time with his friend (which he hadn't seen in a year and a half). I said it was cool, and we drove to his place. Ron drove because I'd had a little to drink. When we got to his place he practically ripped my clothes off and I have to admit - the sex was pretty damn awesome :) Either Ron has got it through his head that he needs to make an effort in every aspect of our relationship, or he was really appreciative of how I was okay with being left out at the pub - or he was just horny as fuck XD It was ... dayumn. It was like something out of Cosmopolitan's Sex Position of the Day or something! :D
We had some lovely (but pale in comparison to the night's romp) morning!sex as well, and then the world turned (predictably) upside down in the afternoon when I got my period and the cramps destroyed my good mood. Ron even texted me and asked if we were doing anything tonight, he suggested a restaurant but I was just feeling so icky that I couldn't bear to get out of bed. But I did reassure him over text that I really appreciated the effort he'd been putting in all this past week and that if I hadn't been on my period, I would have totally jumped on the romantic offer. I made sure he knew to try again and not give up because I was uncooperative on the week of my period - after all, my birthday is coming up next month, so he can pamper me all he wants then :)
Aside from Ron stuff, work's been pretty good lately, I made friends with one of the new girls and we went to the beach after work on Friday; my salary and bonuses are pretty okay for the amount of work I put in, and family stuff is just the normal... my grandmother is coming for a visit next weekend and my mom and I will take her sightseeing in Tel-Aviv, should be fun.
On Wednesday I had a check-up at the Diabetes clinic.. nothing big. Did some shopping after that :) The new summer collections are pretty awesome! We also had a very messed up Salsa Mob show, no-one half the people didn't turn up and we felt very embarrassed about it, there's a get together next week during which we have to get out shit together or the Mob is officially dead.. :/ Here's hoping for good news.
And on a final upbeat note: I babysat my nephews on Thursday and my sister was reaaaaly appreciative of that (my brother-in-law was doing Reserve duty up north so she'd been on her own all week) So here's a cute pic of the bigger one Alon with a parrot, and little baby Omer in the stroller all 'ooo'ing and 'aaaahh'ing :)
On the 10th was Lag BaOmer, which is basically a bonfire holiday. We had an enormous bonfire with about 30 people, which was partly organized by myself and Inbal and partly worked out by pure luck. We had enough food and drinks (even some alcohol!) for everyone and I made it in time coming straight from work and there was enough firewood and everyone had a good time. Ron took charge of the bonfire and even though I'd sort of "decided" that I didn't want to go back to him, I can't deny I was worried with him so close to the fire. Throughout the evening we were sort of on-and-off; we kissed several times and I got him water when he got burned and I made sure he took the time to eat.
At one point I felt ill and went to sit down, and then I got cold so I got up to go get a sweatshirt from my car. At the exact moment I was getting up, Ron came to sit with me and caught me off guard - he put a hand on my shoulder just as I was trying to rise, and it put me off balance so I snapped at him and threw his hand off. He took offense (rightly so, I was needlessly mean) and ignored me for the rest of the evening.
Somehow we ended up among the last people still at the site of the bonfire, helping clean up and throw out all the food. He and I talked and I apologized for snapping at him, but once again I said that if he wanted me back then he'd have to really put in effort this time. We talked for about 20 minutes and he begged me to sleep at his place, partly because he was worried I was too tired to drive (which I was) and partly because he wanted me. I said all right because honestly I was exhausted and he offered to drive, but I made it very clear to him that we would not be having sex that night. We did make out quite a bit, until something I said made him explode and we started fighting again. It was 4AM and I was crying and whisper-shouting in his room and it was awful.
I got up to leave 3 times, and each time he held me back. He said that it was because he didn't want me to drive when I was upset and tired, and eventually he also said that he was just afraid that if I left then I would never return. It was because he finally said that, that I decided to stay. I stressed again that we would not be having sex that night, even though he said several times that he really wanted me. I was fine with laying in bed with him, he asked if I minded if we spooned and I said no, but he tried to take my clothes off twice and I stopped him. He thanked me for it, saying that a part of him was screaming 'no' but his head and his heart were saying it was the right thing to do (not have sex.)
In the morning things were strange... we put it off for as long as we could, but eventually I had to ask again: Now what? And his answer was the one I hate the most: "I don't know what to say." It makes me feel as though he doesn't care enough to figure out what to say. I lost it then and since I was already dressed, I got up and left. I thought, this is it. He's said he won't come after me this time. I was ready for it and accepted it. I left and didn't look back - until I heard the door of his building open again after I'd closed it. There he was, still in his pajamas and barefoot, looking out after me.
I went back up the stairs of his building to the door and said that the fact that he'd come after me, even though he'd said that he wouldn't anymore, said a lot. I told him that if we wanted to make this work, one last final time, then we both had to try harder at some things. I kissed him and told him to call me later that day. He did, but nothing came out of it, and we didn't meet up, because I went out with my best friend H.
She's leaving for the US next month; she's going to be an instructor at Jewish Camp in Philadelphia, it's mad. We had chocolate fondue at Max Brenner's and talked mostly about her; she didn't want to hear about Ron at all because I'd been complaining to her so much about him that she's kind of upset we were getting back together.
When I got home Ron and I texted back and forth a while, including me sending him a pic of the new dress I'd bought (I bought it for Passover, actually, and he'd seen it, but he'd not seen me wearing it, so..)
That was Friday night, and on Saturday he called again and asked if I was coming to Salsa. I normally hate Saturday!Salsa because it's very crowded and it's no fun to get home late when I work the next day, but there was a birthday party for one of the girls so I decided what the hell. Also, Ron suggested that he sleep over at my place. At first I was stumped - it made no sense, he had work the next day. He said he'd take the train, he'd already checked the times. I was floored. It was exactly the effort and suggestions I'd wanted to hear from him all the past 7 months.
We got to my place and I got my things to shower. Ron came into the bathroom to wash his hands and take out his contacts, and he just wouldn't leave XD I finally took off my clothes, said to him over my shoulder, "Either get out, or get in," and stepped into the shower. I heard him take his clothes off and then he stepped in after me. It was awesome - we nearly had shower!sex, which is kind of a fantasy of mine, but I don't exactly keep condoms in the shower, and although I'm on the Pill and Ron is probably clean, we didn't want to risk it. We kept it clean (lol) and waited until we got to my room to have sex, and it was pretty good. We even had a morning quickie a mere 3 hours after that (since we went to sleep at 3AM and woke up at 6) which was kind of exciting :)
I dropped Ron off at the train station and went off to work, and in the evening we went to the Port in Jaffa (Old Tel-Aviv) for dinner and a street-art/fashion show by the clothing store Castro. Ron thought it would be nice to film and brought his baby lover camera, but in the end it was kind of disappointing. We did have a nice dinner together, and I also bought a pair of high-waisted jean shorts which Ron certainly approved of :)
On Thursday we went together to City Taste, which is basically a food festival in a great big open field in Tel-Aviv. It was fun but I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head - I got to the train station and all I wanted was a cup of coffee but saw, after buying my ticket and discovering that the rail company had yet again upped the price of tickets, that the coffee cart had just closed. So I got onto the train and met Ron (who'd gotten on 2 stops earlier) in an increasingly bad mood which he didn't even seem to notice and just started talking about commercial posters and how lame they were. Ever since he started a copywriting course he's always going on about these kind of things and frankly I don't mind, but just this once I would have rather he paid a bit more attention to how I felt. He said later that it didn't show on my face that I was irritated, which is bullshit and also relevant, because I sat down next to him with a huff and said, "I hate this country" and told him about the ticket and the coffee.
Anyway, whatever, I tried to enjoy the food fair and had some good food, but then we almost missed the train and had to make a mad dash to reach it at the very last second. The doors of the car literally closed behind us a second after we boarded. We got off at my station and drove to Tuesday!Salsa, which had been the original plan but by then I was so tired (and also had low blood sugar) so I didn't enjoy the evening at all, I left early.
Ron also annoyed me with another wtf? moment - I usually go to the LA teach, while he does Cuban style, so we never dance together until the party. That night, I thought I'd go back to Cuban as well - not the same level as him, I'm not as advanced as him in Cuban. I let him know by asking who was doing the lower-level Cuban teach that night, and he told me, and then promptly went off to the LA teach which I usually go to. I mean, WTF????? He couldn't have told me that he was going to do LA that night, maybe we could dance together??? I ended up joining LA because the Cuban teach was lame, and then Ron wanted to dance with me most of the time, but honestly he was pretty bad because he hasn't danced LA in a long while. And when the guy (who leads in salsa) doesn't know the dance moves, there's no way the girl can do it right. So I kept messing up because of him, and also because I was just feeling shaky, so it got me really irritated. The whole night was a bust, and I left early. Ron did walk me to the car and help me calm down and asked what was wrong (and what did he do wrong - big of him) and in general he was pretty awesome about it.
I can't remember if we did anything on Wednesday or Thursday, but on Friday there was a birthday party at a pub and a friend of his from the army dropped by, so they sat and talked while I had nothing to do (all my closer salsa-friends had already left the party so I just sprawled across a sofa and pretended to nap... or sulk, whatever.) We left too a bit later, and Ron took me aside before we got in the car and kissed me and thanked me for being so understanding and for giving him time with his friend (which he hadn't seen in a year and a half). I said it was cool, and we drove to his place. Ron drove because I'd had a little to drink. When we got to his place he practically ripped my clothes off and I have to admit - the sex was pretty damn awesome :) Either Ron has got it through his head that he needs to make an effort in every aspect of our relationship, or he was really appreciative of how I was okay with being left out at the pub - or he was just horny as fuck XD It was ... dayumn. It was like something out of Cosmopolitan's Sex Position of the Day or something! :D
We had some lovely (but pale in comparison to the night's romp) morning!sex as well, and then the world turned (predictably) upside down in the afternoon when I got my period and the cramps destroyed my good mood. Ron even texted me and asked if we were doing anything tonight, he suggested a restaurant but I was just feeling so icky that I couldn't bear to get out of bed. But I did reassure him over text that I really appreciated the effort he'd been putting in all this past week and that if I hadn't been on my period, I would have totally jumped on the romantic offer. I made sure he knew to try again and not give up because I was uncooperative on the week of my period - after all, my birthday is coming up next month, so he can pamper me all he wants then :)
Aside from Ron stuff, work's been pretty good lately, I made friends with one of the new girls and we went to the beach after work on Friday; my salary and bonuses are pretty okay for the amount of work I put in, and family stuff is just the normal... my grandmother is coming for a visit next weekend and my mom and I will take her sightseeing in Tel-Aviv, should be fun.
On Wednesday I had a check-up at the Diabetes clinic.. nothing big. Did some shopping after that :) The new summer collections are pretty awesome! We also had a very messed up Salsa Mob show, no-one half the people didn't turn up and we felt very embarrassed about it, there's a get together next week during which we have to get out shit together or the Mob is officially dead.. :/ Here's hoping for good news.
And on a final upbeat note: I babysat my nephews on Thursday and my sister was reaaaaly appreciative of that (my brother-in-law was doing Reserve duty up north so she'd been on her own all week) So here's a cute pic of the bigger one Alon with a parrot, and little baby Omer in the stroller all 'ooo'ing and 'aaaahh'ing :)