If I thought I was depressed yesterday...

[wine_carnation]

... well, yesterday's got nothing on today. It's over with Salsa Guy.

I actually haven't been updating because I've been really really busy - the whole week my parents were abroad I kept myself busy so that I wouldn't be lonely. I worked every day, I went out with Salsa Guy and with K, the new Salsa friend, I went to salsa, I had a book-binding

Comments

[wine_carnation]

The thing is - I think he was for me. I think he was finally the well-rounded, sane boy who I could have fit great with. I thought he would be the one, the long-term boyfriend, the one I'd finally have a meaningful relationship with (not to mention sex)

If only he'd been willing to work on it, I think it could have been great.

And the problem was that I'm SO not over him. I went to salsa last night thinking I'd have a nice break from him and enjoy dancing - but he was there. We didn't make eye-contact but I kept stealing glances towards him, and I bet he did the same to me.

One of our mutual friends is a pretty good dancer too, so I called to him across the dancefloor and asked him to "Show me a good time." he grinned sheepishly at me and asked, "Isn't that what you have Noam for?" and I said, "nope. not anymore." and he got this funny sort of sympathetic look on his face, and while we danced he kept glancing over at Noam himself! That was weird.

But the whole evening was pretty catastrophical for me, and I left the club crying yet again. Really, like, hysterically weeping. I couldn't even drive, I had to sit and sob for 5 minutes in my car. I even called my mom (who I haven't seen in 2 days because of conflicting schedules) but she was already asleep.

I hate feeling like this. And I'm really curious how he's feeling over all this. I was the one who basically said it was over, because he didn't have the balls to say it himself - and he actually looked like a kicked puppy as I walked out of the cafe crying on monday. Fucking asshole...

[literaryspell]

There's no rush to be over him sweetie, that will happen when you're ready. I wouldn't worry about what he's thinking or doing--your time is worth more than that. And there's not necessarily one person for everyone, right? He might have been good for you, yes, but not perfect. And the next one will be all the better because of this experience--truth.

Sage advice (LOL) aside, I know what you are going through. It's okay to cry, to fucking SOB! It feels better, I think. This is something you'll get through and be stronger for, promise. Sorry that the journey to that has to suck so much. *hugs* Love you!

[wine_carnation]

Thank you so much for the LJ kiss, doll. It really made me smile :)