All Mixed Up...
Friday Mo and I packed up and headed for the great beyond otherwise known as Grand Rapids. It was not as easy it may sound! First off, Mo was moving back to Saugatuck, so after some massive "creative packing" we went to Kerry's to say goodbye. Of course, that couldn't happen without some wacky pictures and laughs, and then we were off again for good. When we got to Mo's we had some tasty yum-yum treats (Mo even gave me one of her prized Kreme Krimpies!!!), and then we proceded to unload our cars and take most of her belongings up to her room. It was a long night fo sho...and then we were off to bed, creaking and crackling like the old ladies we are.
When we woke up, we got ready to go to Troy's surprise graduation party. Of course, since he was poking around in all the party business, he wasn't too surprised, but it was FUN!!! I got to know soo many more people through sitting together and sharing a few hearty laughs...it was great! And what's better, is that I think Troy had some fun too! Never before has phalic bead formations and licking M&M's been so funny!
After the party, Mo and I headed up to Sand Lake to see Nick's dad. I was so nervous to see him. My stomach hurt and I thought I might throw up as we pulled into the driveway, but I made it. As soon as we got out of the car and he walked up, arms open for a hug, I felt better. We both hugged him and then talked for a good long time. We walked around and discussed everything from friends to school, Nick's wishes and life to summer plans. It was a really nice discussion and I'm SO GLAD I went. There were a few times I thought I might cry, but I didn't, and neither did Mo. We did laugh though. We laughed quite a bit, actually, and I think that's how Nick would've wanted it.
As we were driving away, Mo and I decided to call Troy and see if he could tell us or show us where the site of the accident was, since we were already in Sand Lake. He decided to come up and show us himself. We waited for him at a gas station and then not even five minutes after our departure, we arrived at the site. My heart felt like it dropped right out of my chest when we pulled up to the site. I was REALLY nervous for this part. We got out and Mo had brought the Wasabi Peas. I was sure I was going to bawl my eyes out, but as the three of us convened on the corner, this overwhelming peace took over. Mo didn't cry. I didn't cry. Troy didn't cry. We kind of stood there staring for a while...looking at the collection of flowers and notes, and then each other. Troy showed us kind of what happened that he could remember, and we talked about that and then Nick as we stood there on the corner with traffic passing by us. Mo found a small piece of the snowmobile and kept it. Just as she was about to put the peas down by the stop sign, she decided that Troy HAD TO try one, since he hadn't. He took one and of course immediately spit that shit out! Then she said that each of us should have one more to honor Nick, and so both of us partook. Bad idea. Instantly my gag reflex kicked in...those things are NASTY. I went to the car to retreive Mo and I's not-so-good Orange Mountain Dews to wash down the putrid taste in our mouths. Just as I was about to take a sip, Mo said something about the Wasabi Peas tasting like piss, and I couldn't help it, I just started laughing! I spit the pop out all over the place...including all over Troy (Sorry Again!!!) and Mo's pop sorta backed up into her nostrils from laughing. Yeah, it was funny. I'm sure the laughter and the peacefulness were all Nick's doing.
After we left there, we went to Troy's abode for a bit. Let me just take a minute here to say that Troy's friends are fun people! Ken, Chris, Lisa, Sarah, Nicole, Sue and Jarrod are really cool and I had a lot of fun with all of them. We hung out there for a bit while Lisa's car got jumped after it died, and then we took off for some dinner and drinky good times at Friday's in GR. Friday's was supah-fun and I (as well as a few other people who shall remain nameless) had a LITTLE too much to drink. As we left there and headed for the giant tire swing, Troy showed us his hidden treasure (no, not that, sickos!!!) and we stopped at Nicole and Ken's work for a potty stop and some romping through offices that were not our own. Here Troy and I found a lil treasure, too, so we took it with us to the tire swing. The swing was LOTS of fun, even though the spinning was about to make the alcohol in me come up, and Mo felt the need to show us a new side of her! The pictures of that day and night will be priceless. :)
Mo and I headed back to her place after the night of fun in GR, and we went to bed soon after arriving. Then, this morning, I bid her farewell and hit the long road back to Mt. Pleasant. I was filled with all sorts of emotion. I was sad that the fun was over, but I was excited to see my friends here, too. I wanted to see Kerry really badly. I missed Nick SO MUCH. I passed Nick's Dad's exit, then I fought myself HARD to pass the Sand Lake exit without stopping. I passed it, but then I turned around at the next overpass and went back. I had to go just one more time. I couldn't help myself. I pulled off the Sand Lake exit and drove the route to the site. I was crying the whole way. I stopped and got out where we had the day before, and stood, Nick's picture in hand, and cried. I cleared a few stray twigs from around the sign and talked to Nick. I found a small piece of the snowmobile and I put it in my pocket. I'm not sure why. I didn't stay long, but I needed to feel Nick's presence the way I did the day before. And I did. I got back in my car and I cried the WHOLE way home. Story after story of Nick flew through my head and at times I smiled through my tears. I talked to him and cried and listened to a few CDs. The people passing me thought I was crazy, I think, but I didn't care. I drove until I ran out of road between me and Mt. Pleasant and I never really stopped crying. I'm not sorry I went though. I would've stayed longer if I hadn't had so much to do here at home.
Now I'm sitting at the computer lab because our internet at home isn't working (surprise), and I needed to do some emailing. It's been a long day of cleaning my room and throwing out things I won't need to move. I feel so out of place, and I'm hoping that will go away soon. I feel most at peace when I'm with a big group of all my friends, or sometimes just with one. I feel like I'm searching for something, but I don't know what it is. I hope I find it.
When we woke up, we got ready to go to Troy's surprise graduation party. Of course, since he was poking around in all the party business, he wasn't too surprised, but it was FUN!!! I got to know soo many more people through sitting together and sharing a few hearty laughs...it was great! And what's better, is that I think Troy had some fun too! Never before has phalic bead formations and licking M&M's been so funny!
After the party, Mo and I headed up to Sand Lake to see Nick's dad. I was so nervous to see him. My stomach hurt and I thought I might throw up as we pulled into the driveway, but I made it. As soon as we got out of the car and he walked up, arms open for a hug, I felt better. We both hugged him and then talked for a good long time. We walked around and discussed everything from friends to school, Nick's wishes and life to summer plans. It was a really nice discussion and I'm SO GLAD I went. There were a few times I thought I might cry, but I didn't, and neither did Mo. We did laugh though. We laughed quite a bit, actually, and I think that's how Nick would've wanted it.
As we were driving away, Mo and I decided to call Troy and see if he could tell us or show us where the site of the accident was, since we were already in Sand Lake. He decided to come up and show us himself. We waited for him at a gas station and then not even five minutes after our departure, we arrived at the site. My heart felt like it dropped right out of my chest when we pulled up to the site. I was REALLY nervous for this part. We got out and Mo had brought the Wasabi Peas. I was sure I was going to bawl my eyes out, but as the three of us convened on the corner, this overwhelming peace took over. Mo didn't cry. I didn't cry. Troy didn't cry. We kind of stood there staring for a while...looking at the collection of flowers and notes, and then each other. Troy showed us kind of what happened that he could remember, and we talked about that and then Nick as we stood there on the corner with traffic passing by us. Mo found a small piece of the snowmobile and kept it. Just as she was about to put the peas down by the stop sign, she decided that Troy HAD TO try one, since he hadn't. He took one and of course immediately spit that shit out! Then she said that each of us should have one more to honor Nick, and so both of us partook. Bad idea. Instantly my gag reflex kicked in...those things are NASTY. I went to the car to retreive Mo and I's not-so-good Orange Mountain Dews to wash down the putrid taste in our mouths. Just as I was about to take a sip, Mo said something about the Wasabi Peas tasting like piss, and I couldn't help it, I just started laughing! I spit the pop out all over the place...including all over Troy (Sorry Again!!!) and Mo's pop sorta backed up into her nostrils from laughing. Yeah, it was funny. I'm sure the laughter and the peacefulness were all Nick's doing.
After we left there, we went to Troy's abode for a bit. Let me just take a minute here to say that Troy's friends are fun people! Ken, Chris, Lisa, Sarah, Nicole, Sue and Jarrod are really cool and I had a lot of fun with all of them. We hung out there for a bit while Lisa's car got jumped after it died, and then we took off for some dinner and drinky good times at Friday's in GR. Friday's was supah-fun and I (as well as a few other people who shall remain nameless) had a LITTLE too much to drink. As we left there and headed for the giant tire swing, Troy showed us his hidden treasure (no, not that, sickos!!!) and we stopped at Nicole and Ken's work for a potty stop and some romping through offices that were not our own. Here Troy and I found a lil treasure, too, so we took it with us to the tire swing. The swing was LOTS of fun, even though the spinning was about to make the alcohol in me come up, and Mo felt the need to show us a new side of her! The pictures of that day and night will be priceless. :)
Mo and I headed back to her place after the night of fun in GR, and we went to bed soon after arriving. Then, this morning, I bid her farewell and hit the long road back to Mt. Pleasant. I was filled with all sorts of emotion. I was sad that the fun was over, but I was excited to see my friends here, too. I wanted to see Kerry really badly. I missed Nick SO MUCH. I passed Nick's Dad's exit, then I fought myself HARD to pass the Sand Lake exit without stopping. I passed it, but then I turned around at the next overpass and went back. I had to go just one more time. I couldn't help myself. I pulled off the Sand Lake exit and drove the route to the site. I was crying the whole way. I stopped and got out where we had the day before, and stood, Nick's picture in hand, and cried. I cleared a few stray twigs from around the sign and talked to Nick. I found a small piece of the snowmobile and I put it in my pocket. I'm not sure why. I didn't stay long, but I needed to feel Nick's presence the way I did the day before. And I did. I got back in my car and I cried the WHOLE way home. Story after story of Nick flew through my head and at times I smiled through my tears. I talked to him and cried and listened to a few CDs. The people passing me thought I was crazy, I think, but I didn't care. I drove until I ran out of road between me and Mt. Pleasant and I never really stopped crying. I'm not sorry I went though. I would've stayed longer if I hadn't had so much to do here at home.
Now I'm sitting at the computer lab because our internet at home isn't working (surprise), and I needed to do some emailing. It's been a long day of cleaning my room and throwing out things I won't need to move. I feel so out of place, and I'm hoping that will go away soon. I feel most at peace when I'm with a big group of all my friends, or sometimes just with one. I feel like I'm searching for something, but I don't know what it is. I hope I find it.