(no subject)
So here I am. Alot has changed in me - do not worry I did not get a sex change..and I do not intend to..sorry for those that were hoping - See, I do not know how to describe it...other than sayin it is thought, not some poetic justic or grand disillusionment... just thought. Thought that is in such discord that it holds godly order...yes organized chaos. I began an imaginary diary a few days ago, in it I record my epihanies. I do not think it is odd to have an imaginary diary, it is just an inventive way of remembering things. But the most noticable change is that, no matter how close I want people to hold me, no matter how good the sublime ectasy of unknown teenage love may be, no matter how cold the sting of exclusion is, no matter how hate triumphs over in exess all the light in the world, the passion, the muse, the art and theatre, the frustating complexity of math and science, the pretty people that have beautiful minds, and the ugly people who are just as ugly on the inside........all of this narrows down, funnels it way into me: No matter how much I try, to live means to face, and not evade, every fresh crisis that comes.