I spent a long time thinking about this subject a few months back after a incident in my life that made me re-evaluate my perception of myself.
The thing about lying is, lying is not neccessarily always a evil, wrong, bad thing. There are lies that hurt people, and there are lies that do not.
A better question to ask about lying is are you okay with hurting people? even if it means being honest examples including - A child who believes in santa claus, Thing's about people (would you walk up to a mentally challenged person and say hes a idiot for the sake of being honest?), things going on in your life ( You feel crappy and you don't want to go to work, so you say you have something important to do, the damage for this lie varys from nonexistant to very little)
Then there is lying about things that do hurt like cheating(in relationships and in other aspects of life) and a million other examples.
For me I came to grips with that, yes I lie now and then, but never in a form that is damaging. Most of my lies are excuses to get out of work, or because I don't want to tell someone how bad that new haircut is, and you know what? I'm okay with that, I would rather tell a little lie then risk hurting someone else's feeling's. Being able to make the discrimination between Hurting someone else's feelings and not telling them something that could really hurt them is tougher, but I feel I do a good job of making that decision.
So there it is, yeah I'm a liar, but I think I'm a good liar? If there is such a thing
Just something smallnottoofarFebruary 25 2006, 16:28:26 UTC
A) A mentally challenged person is not an idiot. B) You are not being honest by walking up to the mentally challenged person and saying this. That person did not ask you directly what you thought of them, therefore there is no need to respond to the unasked question by going out of your way and being a jerk. If the person said "What do you think of me," you could answer in a variety of ways without lying. If the person asked verbatim "Do you think I'm an idiot" then you could answer with your honest opinion of yes. I don't see why you would answer a question, when someone would like to know your opinion, with a lie. If we all went out around lying about our opinions just to avoid hurting the feelings of others how many ugly hair cuts would we have? How many people that are actually stupid would go around thinking they are intelligent? . I don't understand how you can reasonably say that lying about doing something important to avoid work isn't damaging. Not only is it damaging to your character, it could hurt business for work, or it could mess up someone else's day just because you're feeling lazy.
There is no such thing as a lie that isn't damaging. If you want to avoid hurting someone's feelings, don't answer the question that isn't asked. If the person is asking you a question in precise words as I mentioned above, then they should be ready for whatever answer you have to give them.
I think there are al ot of lies that aren't damaging, I hate lying, I despise lying.
And a lot of that comment was written on a whim and in a hurry so it's not the clearest representation of what i'm trying to say, I didn't have written out explanations and if you feel like picking it apart, go ahead, have a blast, I'm not in a overly sensitive mood, so I don't care.
Not all lies are damaging, you are trying to nit-pick into every little possible damage that every lie could cause, but you could do the same thing with compliments(inflation of ego,wrong impression, the development for an eed for reassurance) and hugs(phyisically damagain, false impressions from participants and spectators) and everything else.
Everything comes with some small amount of damage involved, using the same amount of digging you are using.
People who claim to never lie are usually lying, I don't make that claim. I can honestly say I lie very little, and compared to most I am a very honest person, but I am also a rather meek person, I don't enjoy being blunt I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings even if it means being brutally honest. If someone gets a haircut that is incredibly bad I'll tell them that "It's not too terrible" Call me a dirty liar, I don't care, I don't want to make this person's day any worse, they shouldn't care what other people think anyways if they like thier haircut kudos to them. The damage from this lie is so minimal that I would hardly consider it damaging, its the same amount of damage that would be given from being honest and hurting their feelings, or complimenting their shirt and giving them the idea that shirt is special when it's really just another shirt.
I've never stolen in my life, I've never cheated on anything in school not once, and only once in my entire life have I ever told a massive damaging lie, and not long after I came forward and accept responsibility.
If im feeling realllyyyy shitty, and I know my boss is a hardass and won't let me have the day off no matter how sick I am, even with 2 other people easily on call, I will tell him I have urgent family bussiness or something, take some nyquil and try to heal my body. There is 2 people who would jump on the chance to take the hours, I don't need to spend a inordinate amount of time trying to justify my absence, and work goes on just as normal.
Damage to my image? Minimal at best, I rarely ever call in to work and im sure my friends would absolutely loathe me for calling in when im puking my guts out. Damage to the workplace? Any at all? The shift is covered, happily by one of my co-workers who practically beg for people to give them hours, andddddd.. that's about it. I can't even think of anything else. If I thought it might screw up someone's day, I wouldn't do it. I'm not a dick.
I guess i'm a liar for such habits. But when I lie, I make sure no one gets hurt. the examples I used are true to life, if you try to expand them then yes, they become damaging, but anything beyond a ugly shirt or telling my grandpa when he asked why I didn't hear his phonecall when I was occupied with my significant other(If you can tell me why this lie would be damaging I would be impressed), I'm not going to lie about it, so don't. But I don't really see any of this swaying you, so I agree to disagree and go on with our lives :)
The thing about lying is, lying is not neccessarily always a evil, wrong, bad thing. There are lies that hurt people, and there are lies that do not.
A better question to ask about lying is are you okay with hurting people? even if it means being honest examples including - A child who believes in santa claus, Thing's about people (would you walk up to a mentally challenged person and say hes a idiot for the sake of being honest?), things going on in your life ( You feel crappy and you don't want to go to work, so you say you have something important to do, the damage for this lie varys from nonexistant to very little)
Then there is lying about things that do hurt like cheating(in relationships and in other aspects of life) and a million other examples.
For me I came to grips with that, yes I lie now and then, but never in a form that is damaging. Most of my lies are excuses to get out of work, or because I don't want to tell someone how bad that new haircut is, and you know what? I'm okay with that, I would rather tell a little lie then risk hurting someone else's feeling's. Being able to make the discrimination between Hurting someone else's feelings and not telling them something that could really hurt them is tougher, but I feel I do a good job of making that decision.
So there it is, yeah I'm a liar, but I think I'm a good liar?
If there is such a thing
Reply
B) You are not being honest by walking up to the mentally challenged person and saying this. That person did not ask you directly what you thought of them, therefore there is no need to respond to the unasked question by going out of your way and being a jerk. If the person said "What do you think of me," you could answer in a variety of ways without lying. If the person asked verbatim "Do you think I'm an idiot" then you could answer with your honest opinion of yes. I don't see why you would answer a question, when someone would like to know your opinion, with a lie. If we all went out around lying about our opinions just to avoid hurting the feelings of others how many ugly hair cuts would we have? How many people that are actually stupid would go around thinking they are intelligent? . I don't understand how you can reasonably say that lying about doing something important to avoid work isn't damaging. Not only is it damaging to your character, it could hurt business for work, or it could mess up someone else's day just because you're feeling lazy.
There is no such thing as a lie that isn't damaging. If you want to avoid hurting someone's feelings, don't answer the question that isn't asked. If the person is asking you a question in precise words as I mentioned above, then they should be ready for whatever answer you have to give them.
Reply
But I disagree entirely.
I think there are al ot of lies that aren't damaging, I hate lying, I despise lying.
And a lot of that comment was written on a whim and in a hurry so it's not the clearest representation of what i'm trying to say, I didn't have written out explanations and if you feel like picking it apart, go ahead, have a blast, I'm not in a overly sensitive mood, so I don't care.
Not all lies are damaging, you are trying to nit-pick into every little possible damage that every lie could cause, but you could do the same thing with compliments(inflation of ego,wrong impression, the development for an eed for reassurance) and hugs(phyisically damagain, false impressions from participants and spectators) and everything else.
Everything comes with some small amount of damage involved, using the same amount of digging you are using.
People who claim to never lie are usually lying, I don't make that claim. I can honestly say I lie very little, and compared to most I am a very honest person, but I am also a rather meek person, I don't enjoy being blunt I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings even if it means being brutally honest. If someone gets a haircut that is incredibly bad I'll tell them that "It's not too terrible" Call me a dirty liar, I don't care, I don't want to make this person's day any worse, they shouldn't care what other people think anyways if they like thier haircut kudos to them. The damage from this lie is so minimal that I would hardly consider it damaging, its the same amount of damage that would be given from being honest and hurting their feelings, or complimenting their shirt and giving them the idea that shirt is special when it's really just another shirt.
I've never stolen in my life, I've never cheated on anything in school not once, and only once in my entire life have I ever told a massive damaging lie, and not long after I came forward and accept responsibility.
If im feeling realllyyyy shitty, and I know my boss is a hardass and won't let me have the day off no matter how sick I am, even with 2 other people easily on call, I will tell him I have urgent family bussiness or something, take some nyquil and try to heal my body. There is 2 people who would jump on the chance to take the hours, I don't need to spend a inordinate amount of time trying to justify my absence, and work goes on just as normal.
Damage to my image? Minimal at best, I rarely ever call in to work and im sure my friends would absolutely loathe me for calling in when im puking my guts out. Damage to the workplace? Any at all? The shift is covered, happily by one of my co-workers who practically beg for people to give them hours, andddddd.. that's about it. I can't even think of anything else. If I thought it might screw up someone's day, I wouldn't do it. I'm not a dick.
I guess i'm a liar for such habits. But when I lie, I make sure no one gets hurt. the examples I used are true to life, if you try to expand them then yes, they become damaging, but anything beyond a ugly shirt or telling my grandpa when he asked why I didn't hear his phonecall when I was occupied with my significant other(If you can tell me why this lie would be damaging I would be impressed), I'm not going to lie about it, so don't.
But I don't really see any of this swaying you, so I agree to disagree and go on with our lives :)
Reply
B) Truth is arbitrary.
That's all.
Reply
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