randomness..
so
i really really really don't want it to snow this weekend cuz i really want to wear my kilt for st. patty's
i'll be so dissapointed if i don't get to do that
and my head feels like it's gonna explode with all the thngs goin on
trying to change my major again but i have to wait to get into the specifics until one of my profs come back next week
have a huge project in the scenic design class which i'm being kinda lazy/drawer's block about
3 renderings and 3 groundplans...i have only a rough map-out of one scene and a beginning map-out of one of the groundplans...it's due on fri next week...yay fun
stupid financial aid problems with my parents is happening right now and somehow even though my dad specifically is the one who keeps fucking everything up as far as getting it done before the due date is concerned somehow it's all my fault and i can't take responsibility and it's always last minute shit with me and i'm just a horrible horrible person
i'm pretty sure i'm gonna flunk out of my math class even though i've been goin to the tutor place i just can't do any better on the tests and quizzes
i think my therapist is a dumb cunt whore
and unfortunately trying to take up smoking to help with the de-stress thing sorta works but just recently i have gotten into a perpetual state of nausea dizziness and headaches so i'm pretty sure that i can't do the smoking thing
and the real reason i started was not just because i got so used the smell some of my friends give off when they inhale their cancer sticks...but it helps with the calming down thing because it reminds me of being with my ex who even though treated me like i was shit and didn't really do one good god damned thing for me...he always made me feel better at the same time...which i can't explain for the life of me...
anger vibes!
anywho...now that i'm done ranting about some of the shit flying through my head....it's time for a nap because i don't want to do any work since i've been doin that all week and i'm exhausted...