Biopsy Results--What Have I Done?....

[windswept_heart]

so i got the test results back from the biopsy

i have a form of hpv and they said it is in a middle level stage and that they would like for me to come back in four months to get checked again to observe if the status has changed and turned to cancerous

they said it isn't serious enough yet to start any treatments so i have to keep playing the waiting game

but now it's closer to finding something bad rather than good so i'm a little more upset then i have been

things just seem to keep piling up and getting worse in my head so i'm goin to start goin back to therapy sessions and request a different therapist

i'm goin to ask if i can start serioulsy looking into depression medication because of how much i am now being affected

i can't sleep and if i do fall asleep i have nightmares (half of them about the thing that happened over break with my ex) and then i wake up and have interrupted sleep on top of not much to begin with

i am just really depressed and i can't focus on doin my work and i'm already behind in all my classes

general point is things just got a little more sucky knowing that i have something that could potentially turn into cancer and on top of which that means that i spread it to andrew and his now girlfriend, my ex and his ex girlfriend

so i have now become responsible for infecting others with what i have

again general point is i'm really really depressed