Family Don't End With Blood (Thank God)
Came to the sad realization tonight that if I were to be completely honest with my birth family about who I am and what I believe and what is in my past, it could cost me my career and possibly my freedom. Some of my family would be cool with it, or at least, accept it, I think, (I hope.) but others would not and there is no telling just one person. You tell one, you tell everyone. And those who would not accept it have a history of acting on assumptions of the worst possible scenario without any proof whatsoever. The mere possibility is enough for them to declare guilt and act on that declaration with extreme prejudice and haste.
Is it guaranteed they'll react this way to what I have to say? No.
Is there even the tiniest possibility that they would surprise me and not react this way? Yes.
But there is a much larger possibility, supported by a depressing amount of empirical evidence, that they would react just as I fear, and that's too much for me to risk it because there are no take backsies on this kind of thing.
I just thank God that I have others-family not of blood, but of spirit and heart-that I can trust.
I haven't yet figured out exactly what this means for me now, but I think it's safe to say that I need to move away as soon as I can. Get some distance and maybe from that some perspective as well.
Things like this-among others-are why I haven't been around for awhile. Given my student teaching starts in less than a month, that may not change too much either. I want to post some finished sewing projects before that insanity devours my life, but we'll see if that happens.
Love all of you, my dear flisty. I can't always get to your journals and respond to you, but you're in my thoughts and prayers and I miss you tons.
<3,
Maja