A Letter To Shipping Offices
Dear Shipping Office Personnel and Computer Programmers,
My address is not what you're used to seeing. I get that. We're a little different here in Utah.
But, as is the case with many of our customs and much of our culture, I'm not asking you to pass judgment on it. I get that you don't find "800 North" to be a valid street name. You feel like there should be something after the "North". "Maple" or "Broadway" or even "Street" after it.
THERE ISN'T. We use a coordinate grid system for our roads and we feel it works very well for us. You need to have no knowledge of the town itself to be able to locate anything. "800 North" is always in the exact same place relative to the baseline streets of "Center" and "Main". We feel that this is a logical and sensible approach to navigation.
This is, however, a moot point. I'm not asking you to hand-deliver these items to me. I'm asking you to ship them through the United States Postal Service, Fed-Ex, or UPS.
While you may be confused by my address, I can guarantee that the personnel who work for these delivery services are NOT confused. They live here, too. They know exactly how to read my address and how to promptly deliver my packages.
For interstate shipping, the only relevant part is the zip code-and possibly state. As that is set by the USPS, it is within the standards you expect to see. You could write my address as "Past that ol' yeller log near the marshy bog" and as long as you added my zip code and state, it would get to within my state borders.
Once it has gotten that far, as I said earlier, my local shipping representatives can decipher the "cryptic sekrit messages OMJ! O_O" that comprise the rest of my address.
SO PLEASE STOP "REJECTING" MY ADDRESS AS INVALID AND JUST SHIP MY FREAKING PACKAGES, OKAY?!
Sincerely,
It's Not Freaking Rocket Science And If It Was You'd Have Blown Yourselves Up By Now