the death of the "crazy daisies"
So I have these Crazy Daisies in a vase. You know, the rediculously brightly dyed daisies one can obtain at food city, kroger, etc.
My parents got them for the night we returned from Lebanon. I guess my mom assumed the brightness and funky cheerfullness would appeal to me. Oh and indeed they did, with their magenta, cobalt, and lime faces staring up at me-in a sense saying, "welcome home, to happy land-where nothing bad can get to you!"
I find it strange that today, a month later, I notice that they are finally wilting-yes, somehow their false fronts of brightness have lasted this long! They still looked happy!
In a way, I feel like I am at the same point as the faithful Crazy Daisies; I have given up on having a false front. Ok, or at least I am attempting to. I leave for school tommorrow, and I would love to be able to show people my true personality, you know? I learned a lot about that this summer-being myself around new people, that is.
Another thing that came to mind when I looked at those rediculous flowers is that I lost a bit of my childlike innocence this summer. Just, with everything that happened in Lebanon, this amazing country which I fell in love with, I lost my trust in government, and I guess my faith in some friends. Most of you were amazing and it was truely awesome to hear how many people were thinking of us, etc., but still, with the experiance naturally came a slight feeling of abandonment which I now have had to figure out how to live with. I guess a lot of it is that I have realized how much "bad" (call it evil, hatred, greed, whatever you like) there really is out there. We tell the young that good will always triumph over evil-but where is the good in Israel bombing a carload of 13 people (several of them children) on their way to seek medical attention in beirut? Where is the good in telling people to evacuate their homes or they will be killed, then finding where they fled to and bombing those buildings? There was no righteousness in the pointless murder of thousands (yes, the number has risen into the thousandS) of innocent lebanese people, as well as those lost in Israel (I may not agree with or like them, but there is still no reason for their deaths).
These are the thoughts that plague my quiet moments (or rather, prevent me from truely having any). When people tell me "well I'm sure that trip has changed your life"-you're right, it truely has. I am so very grateful to have had it, but it is also so hard. Even though there was a cease-fire, it is in no way over for my friends over there-they still have a foreign military in their country, one that has no true justification for being there (you may not agree with me, but imagine the mexican army invading texas-no matter how right they thought they were in doing so, would you not be furious?).
But back to those daisies. The first, most blatantly obvious comparison which came to mind, is the loss of a friendship which I at one point treasured. I had hoped there was some sort of chance for this friendship, but after "recent events" haha, there is no hope of its survival (like my daisies...see the connection? Oh yes, indeed indeed). Once something starts rotting at its roots (or just the stem in the case of the daisies) I guess there isn't much hope for it.
Fortunately, there are tons of awesome people in my life, so a couple rough patches don't really matter (there are plenty of daisies in the "stores", you just have to find some that make you happy).
Well I'll just be an hour and a half down the road, so keep in touch everybody, just call if you ever need anything (and I'm being sincere in saying this, I refuse to just forget my life here and completely start a new one-I want a nice blend).
My parents got them for the night we returned from Lebanon. I guess my mom assumed the brightness and funky cheerfullness would appeal to me. Oh and indeed they did, with their magenta, cobalt, and lime faces staring up at me-in a sense saying, "welcome home, to happy land-where nothing bad can get to you!"
I find it strange that today, a month later, I notice that they are finally wilting-yes, somehow their false fronts of brightness have lasted this long! They still looked happy!
In a way, I feel like I am at the same point as the faithful Crazy Daisies; I have given up on having a false front. Ok, or at least I am attempting to. I leave for school tommorrow, and I would love to be able to show people my true personality, you know? I learned a lot about that this summer-being myself around new people, that is.
Another thing that came to mind when I looked at those rediculous flowers is that I lost a bit of my childlike innocence this summer. Just, with everything that happened in Lebanon, this amazing country which I fell in love with, I lost my trust in government, and I guess my faith in some friends. Most of you were amazing and it was truely awesome to hear how many people were thinking of us, etc., but still, with the experiance naturally came a slight feeling of abandonment which I now have had to figure out how to live with. I guess a lot of it is that I have realized how much "bad" (call it evil, hatred, greed, whatever you like) there really is out there. We tell the young that good will always triumph over evil-but where is the good in Israel bombing a carload of 13 people (several of them children) on their way to seek medical attention in beirut? Where is the good in telling people to evacuate their homes or they will be killed, then finding where they fled to and bombing those buildings? There was no righteousness in the pointless murder of thousands (yes, the number has risen into the thousandS) of innocent lebanese people, as well as those lost in Israel (I may not agree with or like them, but there is still no reason for their deaths).
These are the thoughts that plague my quiet moments (or rather, prevent me from truely having any). When people tell me "well I'm sure that trip has changed your life"-you're right, it truely has. I am so very grateful to have had it, but it is also so hard. Even though there was a cease-fire, it is in no way over for my friends over there-they still have a foreign military in their country, one that has no true justification for being there (you may not agree with me, but imagine the mexican army invading texas-no matter how right they thought they were in doing so, would you not be furious?).
But back to those daisies. The first, most blatantly obvious comparison which came to mind, is the loss of a friendship which I at one point treasured. I had hoped there was some sort of chance for this friendship, but after "recent events" haha, there is no hope of its survival (like my daisies...see the connection? Oh yes, indeed indeed). Once something starts rotting at its roots (or just the stem in the case of the daisies) I guess there isn't much hope for it.
Fortunately, there are tons of awesome people in my life, so a couple rough patches don't really matter (there are plenty of daisies in the "stores", you just have to find some that make you happy).
Well I'll just be an hour and a half down the road, so keep in touch everybody, just call if you ever need anything (and I'm being sincere in saying this, I refuse to just forget my life here and completely start a new one-I want a nice blend).