Gotta pick myself up, where do I start- cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.
I wish I could stop being such a girl.
& go to bed.
Cause apparently all I have to do is sleep on it.
I wish my little mood lemon wasn't crying.
I wish I wasn't crying.
But I guess I figured it out. I figured out why most seniors count down the days until they can get out of high school. I thought it was about being away from their family, or from all the rules.. or just something different, a change. But it's because you can run away. You can become whoever you want to be, wherever you want to go. And before, I didn't want to leave North. That's because I was happy with who I was here. But now I need to go. I need to get away from the place where people think that just because I'm smiling it means I'm happy. Where its always perfectly happy Jane and Erin. And if I ever do anything wrong, or say something mean it's such a damn shock. I guess what goes around, comes around. I know how you feel. I know what it feels like for someone(everyone?) not to believe you.
But I didn't lie. And I don't hate you.
And yeah, I had a problem. I was upset, I was mad. And I didn't say anything. I thought it was the easy route, that it would keep the peace. But now I'm fake?
So I've become everything I hate?
... and now, by saying how I feel. You won't talk to me. And if you don't know me anymore then I don't know me anymore.
fjsakljagjal
Okay so venting to the livejournal doesn't work... nothing seems to.
Yes Doug, let's go to Oregon early. Like now.
Goodnight?
Oh and realize that this will be deleted shortly. So for the few viewers, I apologize.
I just need it to be tomorrow. & then tomorrow to be over- fast.
I'm sorry.
& go to bed.
Cause apparently all I have to do is sleep on it.
I wish my little mood lemon wasn't crying.
I wish I wasn't crying.
But I guess I figured it out. I figured out why most seniors count down the days until they can get out of high school. I thought it was about being away from their family, or from all the rules.. or just something different, a change. But it's because you can run away. You can become whoever you want to be, wherever you want to go. And before, I didn't want to leave North. That's because I was happy with who I was here. But now I need to go. I need to get away from the place where people think that just because I'm smiling it means I'm happy. Where its always perfectly happy Jane and Erin. And if I ever do anything wrong, or say something mean it's such a damn shock. I guess what goes around, comes around. I know how you feel. I know what it feels like for someone(everyone?) not to believe you.
But I didn't lie. And I don't hate you.
And yeah, I had a problem. I was upset, I was mad. And I didn't say anything. I thought it was the easy route, that it would keep the peace. But now I'm fake?
So I've become everything I hate?
... and now, by saying how I feel. You won't talk to me. And if you don't know me anymore then I don't know me anymore.
fjsakljagjal
Okay so venting to the livejournal doesn't work... nothing seems to.
Yes Doug, let's go to Oregon early. Like now.
Goodnight?
Oh and realize that this will be deleted shortly. So for the few viewers, I apologize.
I just need it to be tomorrow. & then tomorrow to be over- fast.
I'm sorry.