Requiem for a Test Card Girl
I can sum it up in one go.
D:
I know, I know, I know, butch!Sam is butch, wee!Gene is wee, but it's so much more than that. A friggen Cameron clone is in it!
I laughed when butch!Sam couldn't figure out a fence. I was sheepish when the wheel was on the wrong side of the car. I was amused by the sepia wash when he first wakes up in 1972. It was a joke. A terrible, off-colour (no pun intended) joke. Halfway through, they did away with the sepia. That's bad sportsmanship. It was like watching people in silly clothes shouting a lot. There was no 70's over the topness. (I know, that's me being stereotypical, but how are you going to sell the idea of the 70's if you don't try a little?) The cars were nice (I liked the Camaro.) but they cannot carry the show, especially as there is no crown jewel like the Mark III Cortina.
So there's no 70's (save for maybe two silly outfits), there are few awesome car(s). The music kind of really sucked. There's no Chris. There's no Nelson. wee!Gene is all anger and no humour. Annie is Allison Cameron in a strange suit. butch!Sam thinks he can get away with being Jack Harkness and look thoughtful on tall buildings. butch!Sam had wee!Gene in that armlock, in a complete role-reversal from that bit in the real!LoM. It's just so much rubbish. Sam isn't meant to be the hero, he's supposed to be the outsider. He's supposed to adapt to the 70's, not make everybody bow to his crazy ass "I'm from the future" theory. He even had wee!Gene going along for the ride, and that's not right. It's completely fucking wrong and it gives me a headache. I like butch!Sam even less than I liked Alex's first ep of A2A.
I feel obligated to be nice, mostly because there wasn't much to be nice about. Their attention to detail is staggering if they could be arsed...which they really couldn't be. (Sam did have a Jeep. Nicely observed.) There's no creepy little boy with buckled shoes in the woods. (I approved.) The OCD pencil sharpening amused me, even when the sequence gave me a seizure. Um...Colin was a creepy little boy. In fact, adult Colin was pretty cool too, though I bet there wasn't much acting involved in sitting and looking shifty.
I'm gonna miss Test Card Girl. I already do. I just cannot express in words my opinion of the sick bastards that think they can just axe her. She's the Marsellus Wallace of LoM. There is no LoM without her basic character. And if they've replaced her with stupid fucking Morgan from the get-go, I will go to ABC and bash some heads. Just...fuckin' A. I would've even been cool with a Test Card Indian. Fail, ABC. Complete fail.
But I really, really want an American!LoM/Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas crossover now. With Raoul Duke outsmarting and generally being more awesome than butch!Sam. Think Wile E. Coyote vs. Roadrunner.
*sigh* I feel dirty.
So who else is looking forward to the eleventh series of Top Gear?