The Life of Sean
Alright, to start with... 2006... a big year for me ;)
I started the year sick... which was a little crappy. And I've spent a LOT of time this year sick or in pain... ear infections numerous times, a throat infection, some random cough that lasted for most of september and I still get coughing spells from, the back/rib hypertension... etc...
However, overall the year's been pretty good... no major drama, the closest to drama was that falling out with Caisha over that incredibly petty and silly thing.(Although, I must admit, sadly I do miss having her for a friend some) But overall, no serious drama I can remember... nobody I hate now that I didn't before... overall, I came out of the year in that respect pretty well.
I came out of birthday and christmas pretty well also... even if you all forgot my birthday last year SHAME ON YOU! ;)
Most importantly for the year, however... as of August 19th, 2006; Emma and I are officially wife and husband.(She comes first 'cause she's most important ;)) And we're now working on the sponsorship process for her to come move to Canada to be with me... I miss her so... but soon...
I've made a lot of mistakes this year in how I've treated you love... I won't go into a list here(We'd be stuck here reading all day...) but I want to thank you for seeing past them and still wanting to be with me despite it all. I love you more than ever, my wife, and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.
All in all, 2006 has been a good, and very memorable year... Thank you to you all for helping to keep me (in)sane this year and for ensuring that despite everything else, I didn't get too depressed. *hugs*
A brief reminiscence on the past...
I've been thinking... and a new year with a new marriage and a new life to look forward to is a very good time to make these reminiscences...
Since 2002, which is basically as early as almost any of you knew me, I've seen a lot of people come and go from my life... in real life, many of my high school friends I've completely lost touch with(in fact, Tiana's the only one I really speak to at all anymore), and I've come to know a few people at work fairly well, but other than that really haven't made any friends offline. Well, except Emma and Sasha, but I'll get to that a little later ;)
Online has been a not entirely different story...
Many people I met I came to call friend...
Ilora, Caisha, Chani, Ara, Casey, Sunny, Ashley...
This first group are people who at some point after becoming friends with... for whatever reason, there was a falling out and the friendship ceased.
Looking back, I've noticed that some of the people I was friends with but ceased being friends with seemed to completely change their personality shortly after repudiating my friendship...
(I'd like to say here that I hope nobody takes amiss to what I say here, its just my observations and opinions, and well... whether its accurate or not; this IS my 'reminiscence and review post' so I'm sorry if its something you make take amiss to) ;)
Ilora, while we were friends, was highly intelligent and caring; always willing to spare an ear for people. Religious, but not pushy or overbearing about it... and kind even to those she wasn't particularly fond of(at least to my observation). Since then, what I've seen and heard of her, she'd become eccentrically religious, highly rude regarding those she dislikes, to their face and behind their back, and she hasn't seemed to show the same level of caring to anyone who I've spoken to(not that the subject of 'Ilora' comes up often lol) that she used to show to everyone
Chani, now this is a sore subject... while I knew her she was very neglectful, tended to only keep people around(other than Ara and, at the time, Dal) as long as it was convenient of her to do so. After our 'falling out'(okay, more like two planets colliding and then shattering into millions of jagged, filthy pieces... lol), she seemed to take on a different attitude from the one I'd remembered. Its hard to describe the change, but from what I'd read on her journal SINCE then(I went back mid last year and read some becuase someone had linked to it somewhere) she seemed to have taken on a more stable persona. Still not a person I'd like, but one I could respect if not for past experiences between us.
Sunny, this was a huge change. She was very depressy, always needing consoling, almost like she was half a person... was very easy for me, at the time, to take advantage of. I'm ashamed to admit that I did at the time... and I tried to apologize and make amends afterwards, but she'd turned into a snake with a backbone(yes I realize its a contradiction). She snapped at me, accused me of ruining her life, and so on and so forth. It seemed as though somehow my rejection of her had forced her to find herself, and she came back a more self-aware person. I am glad that my misdeeds were the cause of this, and although I do still feel some shame for how I treated her and Casey at the time, I'm glad of how her part of this all came out.
Casey had a fairly significant change to, although its much harder to describe it. AFter we broke up; we stayed on decent terms for a while, then completely lost touch. Since then I've seen and heard some snippets from various places regarding her, and she seems to have become a lot more mature and a lot more self-assured. I was very glad to see this change, and I hope its continued... she has a lot to be proud of about herself.
Cayce, Marikit, Katy, Arilyn, Jen, Jacki, Sheena, Bog, Ano, and even you, Tiana... among others...
This group is of people who I have largely lost touch with... but who I wish I hadn't... Cayce and I have recently started talking again, which makes me happy. But I'm sorry to have lost touch with rest of you, and if any of you can read this entry; please feel free to comment if you'd like to end the silence between us! ;)
Glenin, Tami...
You two are those who originally... I wasn't terribly fond of I admit. There was either some grief between us, or we didn't know each other well enough, or we just didn't click at first... however, you both have become very close and very fond friends to me.
Glenin, I'm still sort of sorry about the original drama between us, and the issues revolving around Emma which led to us becoming friends; but I'm not sorry for the outcome. Thank you for seeing past all of what I'd said and the issues between us and being willing to give me that chance for friendship. We still don't always see eye to eye about everything, but thats to be expected when dealing with two strong personalities ;)
All in all, thank you. You've been an incredible friend to Emma and you've been a very good friend to me as well.
Tami, I don't even remember what it was that caused us to not be that close initially. Its been so long that I just have no real memory of it at all, but... since then you've been a great help to me in many times of sadness, and you've given me a LOT to think about just by being you(This is a good thing btw ;)). I would like you to know that you are one of my fondest friends, and that I'm behind you no matter what choice you should make regarding the new year and what you've pledged for yourself recently. *hugs* I hope things with David work out for you :)
Oh... and thank you so much for the lovely card ;)
Sarrie, Erin...
Friends from the start... I think both of you were even Emma's 'fault' ;)
Sasha, haven't known you as long as many others... but time really doesn't matter with some friendships, does it?
You're one of my closest friends, and a lovely person to know. Thank you for everything, and especially thank you for being there for Emma and I at our wedding. Having you there was a wonderful addition to an already wonderful day.
YOU need to quit being so down on yourself, hmm? You're not 'doomed to be alone'. You'll find someone out there if you truly want to, because you're a beautiful, lovely, loveable person in your own right. I'm sorry for how your housemates and how many of the people you've known have treated you in the past, but you have REAL friends now who will tell you the truth, be it ugly or otherwise... and you need to learn to trust us, and believe in yourself :)
Erin, you never fail to amuse me. You're an incredible person with a great sense of humour, and you deserve better than the asshole who fathered your adorable, if inevitably evil, little demon gives to you. I hope your new toy treats you better, and from what you've told me he seems to be doing so. Don't worry if you fight some... Emma and I have had some pretty nasty fights, and its all turned out for the best; I'm sure that if you two are meant to be you will too. And if not, there are others out there who are no doubt dying to get a bite of you ;)
Just in case you haven't caught on yet, I'll be behind you, with love and friendship, no matter what decision you should make.
Katy, Casey, Sunny, and Heather...
These are all my previous relationships...
Katy and I had a long relationship, though near the end I just sorta drifted into a close friendship and we never really broke up, we just stopped being a couple. Stayed close friends for quite a while... and then we just drifted apart.
Casey, you and I had a very good relationship for the large part of it. And I remember it fondly. You helped me through a bad part, even though I wasn't yet the person I am now... you helped put me on the path to who I am now, so thank you.
Sunny, as I said before, I'm sorry for how this turned out, and for how I treated you. I said all that was needed above and before, so I shant repeat here overlong.
Well, this comes to the last of my relationships before Emma, me and Heather. My first serius 'physical' relationship. I don't know if you ever accepted it... but we were both just using each other. It was nice for while it lasted, but once we'd both gotten what we needed out of it, things understandably went sour. I shant go into the event that caused that souring, but suffice it to say that it did. And since that breaking up practically threw me into the arms of my wife, I feel no sadness about our relationship. Thank you for being what you were to me, as with all else thats happened in my life, its helped to shape me into the person I'm proud to be today.
And you, Emsha... my dear dear Emma... my beloved wife. The one time I got things right ;)
You truly are my perfect woman... *Hugs* Thank you for being my life, sweetheart.
We've overcome a lot in these years... not the least of which being the distance... and I'd like to thank you for sticking through it and for being as wonderful to me as you have been. I'm sorry for the way I've often treated you, and I'm sorry for the difficulties that being with me has caused you. The friends you've lost, the pain you've suffered... know that I will always be here for you, to comfort you as I may and to love you completely and totally for all our life together.
To all of you who have been friend or more to me at one point or another... thank you for helping me to become who I am now. You all contributed to this in one way or another. To those of you who I'm honoured to call friend, I love you all and thank you to you all especially. And to you, Emma... I'm more in love with you now than ever before, and I look forward with hope and gladness to the future we will share.