Anxiety
i have been battling some serious anxiety lately. trying to wait it out and let it pass. but apparently the fates are not seeing things the same. i feel as though i am being led down a path, but i am fighting every step of the way. grasping in a futile attempt to keep things the same as they have been. i have known that someday soon my position in life would change dramatically. but i dont seem to want to let go. i love ignorance. it truly is bliss. i seem to be disillusioning myself over a few things lately and the end is nigh. i dont want to let go of this "security" i want to live in the darkness. but my subconscious will not have it anylonger. its time to break free once again. time to grow and progress. the only problem is my life takes a drastic change with every evolution of my being. i feel like i am the only one out of two changing towards a new level.
okay, time for a different view. i got one of my co workers to read my tarot cards yesterday. it was out of the osha zen deck. this deck is supposed to give you insight about yourself. not so much outside forces just internal strife, subconscious, things you need to deal with on your own. so i am going to go through my spread. it was significant enough to remember all of the cards which is very unusual for me. anyway. the first card was silence. witch is supposed to be my current states. all of the cards are like a progression. so silence means i have just been dealing. not really standing up for me. just taking and taking trying to compromise and pretty much staying silent about everything, especially my happiness. card two was the break through card. when this card was flipped the wierdest thing happened its like another picture was superimposed on top of the card. the card looks like a person breaking through a huge barrier with pieces flying away.
so i gotta go back to work but i will continue later.
okay, time for a different view. i got one of my co workers to read my tarot cards yesterday. it was out of the osha zen deck. this deck is supposed to give you insight about yourself. not so much outside forces just internal strife, subconscious, things you need to deal with on your own. so i am going to go through my spread. it was significant enough to remember all of the cards which is very unusual for me. anyway. the first card was silence. witch is supposed to be my current states. all of the cards are like a progression. so silence means i have just been dealing. not really standing up for me. just taking and taking trying to compromise and pretty much staying silent about everything, especially my happiness. card two was the break through card. when this card was flipped the wierdest thing happened its like another picture was superimposed on top of the card. the card looks like a person breaking through a huge barrier with pieces flying away.
so i gotta go back to work but i will continue later.