people

[windcriesmegan]

Why are there so many A-Holes in the world?

Really?
I do my best and I still get shit on, and when I try to explain the situation I get told "you need to start taking responsibility"

I don't understand people. Actually.......I might. Every thing is my fault. That last earthquake? my fault. That person tripping over that huge crack in the

Comments

[anonymous]

I was just reading some of your posts and I was just wondering if you tell the people you write about how you feel? Do they know what they have done has hurt your feelings or made you feel this way? I know thats a really difficult thing to do, but it seems to me, that perhaps you are underestimating the people around you and how they feel towards you. I think there are a lot of people who care a lot about you and how you feel about them, or so it seems from your posts and the replies, but everyones human and fallible...and they might not be aware of how they are making you feel. For example...MEMEME....maybe you should tell this individual how you feel...maybe its just a miscommunication and you are too ready to give up what could be a very valuable friendship. And perhaps if the way some one approaches you really hurts you, tell them. Basically, not everything in the world is your fault, the only thing that is your fault, is letting people make you feel this way. My mother always told me, no one can make you mad but yourself, because in the end, you are responsible for your feelings. So stand up for yourself, and that doesn't mean getting mad at the world and giving the silent treatment, it means confronting challenges and overcoming them, as difficult as they may be.

[windcriesmegan]

1.I am still working on being assertive when expressing myself, and until I know that I can stay calm and composed (vs having my Irish Temper come out) I usually dont say whats on my mind. As of right now, I write unsent letters to get out all my feelings and I have every intention to edit and revise what I want to say to the person, but by the time I have it edited, I think that too much time has gone by for the person to even care what I have to say.

2. When I come to the conclusion that some one is not worth my friendship, it comes after a long scientific process with many second chances. When I have my doubts about a friendship, I make a hypothesis, and watch as many scenarios play out. I don't do just one test, I go over and over and over again to make sure my results are consistent. and they usually agree with my hypothesis.

3. I know I can't change people. I can only change myself. So instead of telling someone my feelings, which by the way may result in me feeling bad about myself, I remove myself from the situation. I can control how much that person is a part of my life, and thus bypass all grievances. If someone isn't going to give my the kind of friendship that I give them, then what's the point? I'm sick of being the kind of friend I want to other people, and not get that in return.

4. I am fully aware that I am the cause of my feelings. I know the formula. "I feel _____ when ________ happens" and I teach that to people whenever I have a chance. i try very hard not to say "you make me feel___" When I start saying this sentence out loud, I stop and rephrase to "I am feeling_____"

Lately I've said twice to people "I am working so hard" and immediately they go on the defensive. That is me taking ownership of my thoughts and actions, and without saying another word, the 2 separate occasions, people have snapped back at me "I work hard! We all work hard!!"
and I was not implying that no one else works hard. All I was saying is that I am working hard. It's things like that, when people interrupt me, and assume Im saying something that I actually am not saying, that intimidate me from approaching more people and telling them how I feel.

I have been in the long rough journey of confronting and overcoming problems, and I know it's not going to go away quickly or easily. I am working on myself and how I feel about myself, but I am not to the point when I think i can express myself and be well received and not dwell on "i wish I said that" or dwell on how the other person responded to me.

and for the record: I did think that MEMEMEME was going to be a long term close friend. I had every intention of making a lasting friendship, but then I snapped out of the way I had been ignoring the signs. This person does not treat me the way I want to be treated. This person uses me and I have been lapping up to them for their approval and acceptance. and once I decided to say "No, Im not going to do that anymore" the person had no problem finding someone else to fill that role.