people

[windcriesmegan]

Why are there so many A-Holes in the world?

Really?
I do my best and I still get shit on, and when I try to explain the situation I get told "you need to start taking responsibility"

I don't understand people. Actually.......I might. Every thing is my fault. That last earthquake? my fault. That person tripping over that huge crack in the

Comments

People

[anonymous]

Maybe you should re-consider about people. People who really turn out to be a-holes in the long term are people who don't challenge you.

Growth isn't pain-free and life is definitely *not* fair. The pain we all feel in situations where we are justly or unjustly accused of a mistake isn't the pain of the accusation itself -- it's comes when the *real* world, which is *unfair* and/or *does* hold people accountable for their mistakes, collides with our idea of an ideal world, which is *fair* and/or *doesn't* hold people accountable. It can feel doubly bad when the mistake you're accused of isn't yours to own.

From reading your journal, it seems like you have a pretty good sense that the world is unfair. But I'd encourage you to treat your interactions with people -- especially people who are hard on you -- as opportunities to grow. If you are accused of something you didn't do and it makes you mad, check your premises: maybe it is your inaction you are being held accountable for. If someone is accusing you of inaction, maybe next time you are in the same situation you'll have the chance to do something different that shows you acted responsibly.

In the end, if you find after a calm analysis that you are really not at fault, then there's no reason to be mad. Either someone has made a mistake or they really are an a-hole. In either case they have given you a chance to review your involvement in a life circumstance and become a stronger person.

Just my 2 cents.

Re: People

[windcriesmegan]

I get where you're coming from, but I don't think my livejournal goes into all depths to understand the situations I come across and and feelings I have about them.
I am extremely hard on myself. For everything. and Just lately I've been making strides to put my foot down on injustices and when I feel I am being treated wrongly or unfairly.
I get upset that my feelings are not being acknowledged, even after trying to express them. My voice isn't heard or even considered. And I can't feel validated. (this is a constant theme in my therapy, me wanting validation for my feelings)

and this person that I'm talking about, this isn't the first time. I have talked to my family and my therapist about these situations, and it comes back the same way. this "a-hole" is on a power trip and likes to tear me down, because it makes them feel more important. They are in all senses of the word, a bully.
And to be clear, when talking I try to be unbiased. Most of the time I'm the one putting blame on myself and it is my therapist that says, "You did everything right, you took the steps you needed to"- like when I felt like a bad person for staying home when I had strep throat. it's a terrible feeling to put on oneself, "you are a incompetent employee for staying home when you're sick, for making people aware of your sickness, for NOT spreading a contagious sickness at the office"
it doesn't matter that I did take all the right steps. because the pressure, not challenges, this person puts on me, I am expected to be a perfect little robot. You know 1984, when I read that book, I started calling the a-hole "big brother" in my private journal, because that's how I felt. I felt I couldnt even take bathroom breaks without evil glances.
And this "Big Brother" person does want me to be one of the Outer party people. Just become an unemotional robot that does whatever bidding is given and asks for nothing in return.

I have meticulously gone through the events and there are time stamps, on computer files and and emails that PROVE I was never made aware of the brewing-problem.

I have gone through every possible way that it could have been a slip up by me, and really, my only fault was that I can't read minds.
or making sure that other people do their jobs correctly (which by the way, isn't in my job description, its in Big Brother's)