"Save me from being alone"
I once swore that that line would be etched on my gravestone. I thought I was doing better these days, but maybe not. The song that belongs to that title still resonates with me. It's not entirely appropriate since it's actually about breaking up, and only parts of the lyrics make any sense in describing how I feel. But you know, I don't think sadness has a meter stick. Whether breaking up with someone you love, or feeling absolutely crummy about yourself, pain is pain. The shape or cause doesn't really matter, unless it leads to a cure. The fact that someone is hurting is enough, never mind why.
Feeling sad is absolutely a time when you're wrapped up in yourself, and maybe that's why sadness seems so selfish. My personality type, and that of several of my closest friends, is a peace keeper (peace seeker?) and people pleaser. When I start feeling blue, I retreat big time, because it seems so selfish to burden my friends with my bad mood. Especially when I'm in a bad mood so often. I might as well beat myself mentally for making myself miserable without worrying about making other people miserable with me. Being alone is preferable when I have nothing to offer other people.
That is exactly my problem these days. No faith in who I am, in what I can do, in why anyone would want to be around me unless I'm sparkling happy company.
Spring is here finally, but inside, it's like winter never ended.
Please help me ease the pain
I'm lost, I can't find my way
Hope and pray it will end in time, the pain inside
Can somebody hear? I'm crying for shelter
Please help me see this through
A world that can no longer feel
Seems that they have abandoned me, forgotten me
Do I blame myself?
Save me from being alone
Feeling sad is absolutely a time when you're wrapped up in yourself, and maybe that's why sadness seems so selfish. My personality type, and that of several of my closest friends, is a peace keeper (peace seeker?) and people pleaser. When I start feeling blue, I retreat big time, because it seems so selfish to burden my friends with my bad mood. Especially when I'm in a bad mood so often. I might as well beat myself mentally for making myself miserable without worrying about making other people miserable with me. Being alone is preferable when I have nothing to offer other people.
That is exactly my problem these days. No faith in who I am, in what I can do, in why anyone would want to be around me unless I'm sparkling happy company.
Spring is here finally, but inside, it's like winter never ended.
Please help me ease the pain
I'm lost, I can't find my way
Hope and pray it will end in time, the pain inside
Can somebody hear? I'm crying for shelter
Please help me see this through
A world that can no longer feel
Seems that they have abandoned me, forgotten me
Do I blame myself?
Save me from being alone